Giving alcohol to minors or dependents

[Zamboni]

Its no longer an issue for me but I just wondered what you all thought of it? Is it okay for parents to let their kids drink alcohol in the privacy of their own homes? How about a 21 and older spouse giving alcohol to a younger than 21 year old spouse. The latter situation once upon a time applied to me. My wife is now 24 but when I started on the PD she was only 19. I was 25 and frequently procured alcohol for her and myself in our home. Technically I was breaking the law in my state but personally I don't see it as a big deal. How about you?

[txinvestigator1]

In Texas a minor (under 21 for alcohol consumption) may consume alcohol in the presence of an adult Parent, Guardian or Spouse. The legal defination applies.

I believe case law holds that presence means visual presence.

[Blonde Heat]

I am sorry Zamboni, But i disagree with your procuring alcohol for your now wife. It goes against everything moral. Especially when you chose to be a police officer. Its your duty to uphold the laws that are made even if you do not agree with them. If you do not see it as a big deal, Then i wonder what other laws you do not see as a big deal? Granted this is my personal opinion. But i would never give liquer to a minor. Perhaps you just got lucky but suppose your wife happen to get alcohol poisoning when you gave it to her? How would you of explained that to the ER? Being an officer and all.

[Zamboni]

I think the whole procuring thing for your spouse or child or whatever is no big deal. Your their guardian so its up to you, not the government what they get to do. Its no big deal, kind of like fornication, consensual sex between unmarried adults, which is illegal in my state. Kind of like sodomy which be definition includes consensual oral and anal sex between married or unmarried males and females in my state. In otherwords in my state sex is only legal if your married and its missionary style. Anything else is illegal. Now that doesn't mean you will ever get a prosecutor to prosecute or a cop to arrest on it but technically its illegal. I can just see the prosecutor in court - John and Jane Doe performed oral sex on one another. Throw the book at them.

Just because a law is on the books based on old morals and times doesn't mean its absolute set in stone. If you can honestly say you have never fornicated or sodomized by the legal definitions I gave then talk to me. Otherwise get off your high horse and realize that everyone breaks some laws, even cops, its just a matter of degree.

Also the law is contradictory in my state. On one hand as one poster put there is some vague references to parents / guardians being able to give alcohol to their minors but in other places its not so clear. But what is clear is that if your over 21 and your spouse is under 21 you are their guardian until they are 21.

So its unclear if I broke any laws or not. I know I would never get prosecuted. I was just wondering about the morals of it and what people thought.

[klar]

I think that giving a minor to include wife alcohol in the privacy of your own home is perfectly fine. If I am going to do that I will make sure that 1. they are not going anywhere that night or day and 2. They understand ,if kids, that this is not going to happen often.

Yes there are laws that are on the books of a lot of different states that are outdated and needs to be changed. it is like a lot of the laws that are passed that are unenforcable. You could try to enforce them but if it is not worth your time why do it. Example would be speeding at 5MPH over the posted speed limit. Yes it is against the law but what is going to happen. It does turn a small revenue but it is pointless because it is not going to hurt your driving record or have a effect on your insurance rates. That is my opinion on it.

Klar

[kateykakes]

I think it's wrong, plain and simple. I am going through a situation with my ex-husband and his nephew, who is 17. My ex allows him to come over and help himself to beer and party with him like it's his buddy.

I've voiced my opinion on this to my ex and told him if I found out his nephew was there doing it again, I'd turn them both in.

It's a bad examlple to be setting for my children, as they are very close with both their father and their cousin. I don't want my kids around that kind of situation.

[werebear]

I'm curious about this as well.

I'll be having a child around the beginning of March and I believe responsible drinking should be learned at home.

If my daughter (maybe, not positive yet) grows up watching daddy having a couple beers or wine with dinner and not behaving like an idiot, I think she'll learn something. When she gets older I'd like to be able to give her a watered down glass with dinner without worring about child welfare coming after me if she mentions it at school.

I learned responsible drinking from my father. I think this is the reason why I never hung around the idiots that thought it was cool to drink until they puked.

What's the law in VA re: parents letting their child drink a small amount?

Originally posted by kateykakes:
I think it's wrong, plain and simple. I am going through a situation with my ex-husband and his nephew, who is 17. My ex allows him to come over and help himself to beer and party with him like it's his buddy.

I've voiced my opinion on this to my ex and told him if I found out his nephew was there doing it again, I'd turn them both in.

It's a bad examlple to be setting for my children, as they are very close with both their father and their cousin. I don't want my kids around that kind of situation.

[Mitzi]

I was wondering this: If you, as a police officer, saw a parent letting a young child having a sip of wine or beer at dinner, would you arrest them? I've always been curious about this. My bet is yes.
At a restaruant one time, my husband surprised me when he leaned over to the next table and said, "I will have to report you if let that child have that." There was a child of about 6 with half a wine glass full of wine in front of her." The mother told my husband to mind his own business and besides, she had watered it down. (It did not look watered down to me.) At that, my husband stood up and said, "Take the wine away from the child or I will have to find someone to do it for you." She quick moved the wine glass but WOW, was she mad. About that time, the waitress defused the situation by clearing their table, wine glass and all. It was real touchy.

[ 11-22-2001: Message edited by: Mitzi ]

[Blonde Heat]

Zamboni, I am sorry if you misunderstood my opinion as being on a high horse. But its not the case. Its just a personal opinion and you did ask for it. I still stand by my opinion and still think its wrong regardless. You did not ask about consensual sex, you asked what we thought about underage drinking. I stated an opinion and you took offense.

And regarding the sex thing.I am the last person to be on a high horse. Hell yes i fornicated at a young age, For god sakes i paid the price too. I was nineteen and had three children. Just like giving liquer to a minor, you pay the price. They kill someone then its your doing. They die, its your fault. I think as a responsible adult, its our job to teach and keep the harmful stuff away from them as much as possible. They have enough to deal with at school without being introduced to liquer at home by the very people they trust to take care and look out for them. And they also run the risk of becoming alcoholics at a young age.

[jellybean40]

i grew up being allowed to have a glass of wine with some special dinners, such as holidays. it was a small glass and i only sipped it since to me it tasted bad i know some ethnic groups also allow their children to have wine with some dinners. personally, i dont see anything wrong with it. legally, i'm not sure. i think it's different than a parent having a party for his teenage kid, and giving everyone beer. but i dont know how the laws read.

[celia]

Okay, this is something that bugs me. Sure, if I see a guy laying by the side of the road bleeding to death because he just got hit by a car, and above him is a sign saying "No stopping, standing or parking", well I'm going to stop, stand, and park as needed to help the guy, and I don't care what any stupid sign says. HOWEVER, if I'm driving around the block, and there's no one for miles around, I'm still going to stop at the stop sign at the end of my street and I'm going to teach my kids to do the same. Not because it makes anybody any safer if I stop, but because it's the law, and I have no good reason to break the law, and I want to respect the law in general, and I want to teach my kids the same.

You don't HAVE to drink if you are underage, so don't do it. And you certainly don't have to give alcohol to someone who shouldn't be drinking it in the first place, so why do it? All you are doing is teaching disrespect for the law.

[Snoopy1]

My ex once told me he got started on the path to alcoholism by drinking communion wine when he was an altar boy. I don't know how true this was. I learned the hard way that many of the things he told me weren't true.

However, I do feel that any alcohol to children (under 17-18) is wrong. We would be in a sense teaching them that it's OK to break a law as long as we don't get caught. Also, we have a need to eat, sleep, etc., but there is no need to drink alcohol at any age. If we introduce them to it gradually at home at around 18 that's probably OK provided we don't let them overdo it and make sure they are not allowed to hop in the car and go anywhere or offer it to their friends.

[werebear]

ummm, with all due respect, txinvestigator1 just indicated it is not against the law in Texas if "a minor (under 21 for alcohol consumption) may consume alcohol in the presence of an adult Parent, Guardian or Spouse." With this in mind, if your state does not find anything wrong with a parent teaching their child as they see fit, what's the problem?

As a middle-class kid going to school with rich kids, I found most vandalism, drinking, and drug abuse occured with the children of well to do parents that had little time to teach the fine points of mature behavior to their children.

Just my take......FWIW.

Originally posted by ThaliaMoser:
Okay, this is something that bugs me. Sure, if I see a guy laying by the side of the road bleeding to death because he just got hit by a car, and above him is a sign saying "No stopping, standing or parking", well I'm going to stop, stand, and park as needed to help the guy, and I don't care what any stupid sign says. HOWEVER, if I'm driving around the block, and there's no one for miles around, I'm still going to stop at the stop sign at the end of my street and I'm going to teach my kids to do the same. Not because it makes anybody any safer if I stop, but because it's the law, and I have no good reason to break the law, and I want to respect the law in general, and I want to teach my kids the same.

You don't HAVE to drink if you are underage, so don't do it. And you certainly don't have to give alcohol to someone who shouldn't be drinking it in the first place, so why do it? All you are doing is teaching disrespect for the law.

[Bearcat06]

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[TheMdntRdr]

I'm the same way. If your 18 and can carry an exotic firearm wearing the uniform of this nation's military and die doing it, then you should be allowed to drink.