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  • DanteSF
    replied
    Later, if you want to talk about it, any decent cop (or other trusted person) should be willing to console you and provide support.
    And in that reguard, I'm a lucky man. Despite the unfortunate problem of this being a squadron of Blue Falcons, I've got several people I KNOW I can trust with anything. I'm usually everyone's therapist (My dad is a minister, I guess it runs in the blood), it's good to know I've got others who I know I can count on when I need to talk something out.

    Leave a comment:


  • ctt
    replied
    Originally posted by OffDuty
    Now the ones that have been sitting in a closed up 90 degree house for a week before neighbors called due to the smell and flies getting so bad, those bother me.
    How do you guys deal with the smell in situations like that? Have you ever vomitted when walking into a place like that?

    Leave a comment:


  • OffDuty
    replied
    I'll pitch in. Having seen numerous suicides, I can tell you I dont feel numb, or much of anything as far as being affected personally. I believe your body is just a vessel that carries you in life. When your life ends, its just an empty shell- like a snake shedding skin. Sounds a bit weird, but I think having that kind of an attitude about it helps.

    Now the ones that have been sitting in a closed up 90 degree house for a week before neighbors called due to the smell and flies getting so bad, those bother me.

    I dont think there is any right or wrong way to feel in the job- how it affects you is how it affects you, just make sure youre not carrying it home- talk to others about it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Duke
    replied
    I had a trainee who started crying at the scene of a fatal collision where one party was ejected. She wasn't sniffling, she was balling. I told her to sit in the car while I handled the fatal...

    I later had a long heart to heart with her about the fact that we see many forms of death in this job, and if we become emotional at the sight of death we had better look for a new job ("WE" meaning her). Needless to say, she is no longer in law enforcement.

    I don't want to sound callous, but I (and many others who post here) have seen decapitations, stinkers (those dead so long they smell like the ***-end of an elephant), including those that split open when the coroner moves them, gun shot wounds from a .308 to the head...you get the idea. We need to be professional and keep our emotions in check. Later, if you want to talk about it, any decent cop (or other trusted person) should be willing to console you and provide support.

    Bottom line is, if one doesn't want to see these things perhaps being a cop is not the right career choice.

    Leave a comment:


  • Quopper
    replied
    My first death had no impact on me at all. I guess when people tell me I am cold, it is true. It was a body, big deal, POS life style and the like. So far, the only incident at all that had me a little weirded ouit, was the 15yo hit by a truck, I was fine with him and his injuries, UNTIL dad showed up and I had to physically restrain him. That was tough! Then it was a matter of falling back on my training, and remembering why I was there. I was there to do a job, and my job was to let the EMT's work, and the accident team work. I just kept chanting this to myself..... "If I break down then I do a disservice to the public that I swore to protect, therefore, move ahead and do my job!" I was worthless to the kid if I couldn't do this, lucky for me, I was able to and I got my job done.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTPD3534
    replied
    Originally posted by Delta784
    He's not dead....yet....but there is a bum that frequents my area, we went to elementary school together. I remember playing G.I. Joes with him as a kid, and now I've lost count how many times I've dragged him out of doorways or from behind dumpsters because he's drunk off his *** on Listerine (yes, the mouthwash). As you said, it's eerie to think how close we once were, and how we chose such different paths in life.
    That's just like this one was. She got arrested a while back, by our chief no less, for prostitution and I couldn't believe it was her. Then I'd see her walking down the highway all the time and going to the $hitbag motel where she lived. She'd always look at me when I drove by....I always wondered if it was cause she recognized me or if she was wondering if she was getting arrested again. Definately a sad situation.

    Leave a comment:


  • beano00
    replied
    Originally posted by DanteSF
    Yeah, I found that out. A life skills appointment is apparently manditory after an incident like that. (I would have prefered sticking with my chaplin, but okay.) We did the talking thing, I've calmed down. I don't have to worry about being a mean, old and crusty Tsgt. I'm already a cynical, sarcastic, ocassionally ranting, little SOB and refered to frequently as "the oldest young man alive" because of the fact that the majority of my AF friends are E-5s or above or at least 10 years older than me. (For some reason, other airmen just...drive me nuts. Especially the ones straight out of high school.)
    Roger that on the airmen. I feel ya. Take care and watch your six. Glad you found some help.

    Leave a comment:


  • DanteSF
    replied
    Originally posted by beano00
    Do you have a life skills clinic there? It shouldn't impact your career if you talk to them, provided you feel the need to. There may also be a CISM team on base that could help. By all means, dont hold that $hit in,,you'll end up a mean, old and crusty retired TSgt like me. There aint no shame in asking for help.

    Beano
    Yeah, I found that out. A life skills appointment is apparently manditory after an incident like that. (I would have prefered sticking with my chaplin, but okay.) We did the talking thing, I've calmed down. I don't have to worry about being a mean, old and crusty Tsgt. I'm already a cynical, sarcastic, ocassionally ranting, little SOB and refered to frequently as "the oldest young man alive" because of the fact that the majority of my AF friends are E-5s or above or at least 10 years older than me. (For some reason, other airmen just...drive me nuts. Especially the ones straight out of high school.)

    Leave a comment:


  • thirdgod
    replied
    Dante, I hear where you're coming from. I had my first one(suicide) on New Years Eve last year, 18 y/o male hung himself on his mom's porch. The body didn't bother me so much as the screaming relatives; hearing his mom scream "Aye Dios Mio" over and over again really affected me. Talk to someone about it, you'll feel better.

    Leave a comment:


  • DMS 525
    replied
    Originally posted by Delta784
    He's not dead....yet....but there is a bum that frequents my area, we went to elementary school together. I remember playing G.I. Joes with him as a kid, and now I've lost count how many times I've dragged him out of doorways or from behind dumpsters because he's drunk off his *** on Listerine (yes, the mouthwash). As you said, it's eerie to think how close we once were, and how we chose such different paths in life.
    Around here, these crazy bums will drink rubbing alcohol if they can't beg, borrow, or steal enough to get a bottle of "Brick", "T-Bird", or Night Train. They call it "rub-a-dub."

    Hell to see someone who had such potential decide to turn to booze, drugs, or both, and make a royal mess out of themself. I've known a few, too, to include my own sister. I'm about 99.9% sure she is a meth user. I'll probably know for sure someday soon when I get the word her heart just exploded on her.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bluntforcetraum
    replied
    Not to get too far off subject, but someone that went to my highschool a couple years before I did killed his Grandparents with a hammer on the street behind the school.

    Leave a comment:


  • Welpe
    replied
    Originally posted by Bluntforcetraum
    I am not a cop.
    One of my friends when I was in 8th grade killed himself with a shotgun. Our families used to go camping together.
    In a similar vein, a guy I grew up with and played football with killed his mother our senior year. Some of the officers in our town said it was the most grizzly thing they've seen.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bluntforcetraum
    replied
    I am not a cop.
    One of my friends when I was in 8th grade killed himself with a shotgun. Our families used to go camping together.

    Leave a comment:


  • Delta784
    replied
    Originally posted by WTPD3534
    There has only been 1 scene so far that really bothered me at all, and that was when I found the body of a girl I went to high school with after she had OD'd on heroin at a local scumbag motel. It got me thinking to how we could have been in the same spot in life at one point but taken such different paths. Freaky when you think about it.
    He's not dead....yet....but there is a bum that frequents my area, we went to elementary school together. I remember playing G.I. Joes with him as a kid, and now I've lost count how many times I've dragged him out of doorways or from behind dumpsters because he's drunk off his *** on Listerine (yes, the mouthwash). As you said, it's eerie to think how close we once were, and how we chose such different paths in life.

    Leave a comment:


  • DMS 525
    replied
    Never saw a suicide, but have had to talk a couple out of it.

    Have found 3 dead bodies in the past(2 murders, and one who died from AIDS). And about half a dozen accident victims.

    Doesn't haunt me, although I thought it would. I guess maybe it's because it happened on the job, and I was in "cop mode" the whole time, which made me do my job, and didn't give me time to let it get to me personally.

    Strangely, what affects me the most is a battered woman or child. It's all I can do to keep from wanting to give their abusers a taste of their own.

    But like the others said, don't keep it bottled up- it will only lead to trouble. Talk to a counselor, or talk about it in here. I'm sure most of us understand.

    Leave a comment:

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