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  • #16
    DSF

    I lost my very best friend to suicide. It had an impact that I could never have anticipated. As so many have stated, Delta I think was best, if it really bothers you then talk it out. Holding it in does no good. Having been in law enforcement for 26 years and healthcare for 36 years, lots of time in the ER and ICU it is something I can cope with and handle but never get used to. When that happens it's time to retire.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by DanteSF
      I saw my first suicide today. Girl in the dorms hung herself.

      Is it normal to feel this numb?
      Hate it for ya. You'll probably think about it for some time.

      A week on the job and I get a check the wellness call at a hotel. My fto and I get to the hotel and have the manager pop the deadbolt. She has the chain on the door so we peak in and see blood everywhere. So we pop the chain with a crowbar and go in to find beer bottles everywhere with a 49 year old woman laying in her own blood with two slit wrists. She was unconscious but breathing. EMS gets there, she's patched up, gets counseling, and goes back to an abusive husband 700 miles away. She had a good job, nice car and home, two daughters, and a husband that kicks her *** and she was at the point that she thought this was the answer.

      I wasn't necessarily numb to it but I was able to get the job done and do what I needed to do which is something I had been wondering about. Once the scene was clear I was able to assess everything and realize what had happened. I'm just glad the lady lived.
      "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

      Jesus
      Matthew 11:28

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      • #18
        Death is something you get used to being in this line of work, but it always seems that a particular death will stick with you. It is important to talk it out and deal with it in your own way. There is no one particular way to deal with it. Yes, you get used to it, and yes it gets eaiser to see. This doesn't mean its eaiser to handel. I had one today that got to me. Lets keep it simple: Pedestrian struck by hit and run vehicle gets up and gets hit again and thrown into traffic so she gets hit again and again. Lets just say really messy. Only two cars stopped, witnesses say that as many as 10 cars hit her (probably 4 or 5 in reality). Witnesses also claim that her purse was stolen after she got hit the first time (purse was thrown after initial impact) it was later found with no money.) Of course this was a fatal. The two cars that stopped were two of the last to impact the victim. Whats wrong with people?

        This investigation is being conducted by our Traffic team, being in patrol I don't know what is true and untrue as told by witnesses, but they have a hell of a mess to sort out.

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        • #19
          About a month ago, I had a civilian chaplian riding with me. My Sarge was on a dead person call, and called for the chaplian. When I arrived, I didn't know who had passed away. Sarge was the only officer there, and they did not dipatch the zone officer. As i approached the last room, I saw an 11 year old that had died from cancer. I was not prepared for that at all. It was the hardest thing that I have ever seen. The thing that made it worse is that i had almost lost my wife to cancer. It was a good thing that I had a chaplian with me. I still think of that night often, and it was a good thing for me to talk about it.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Delta784
            Sorry to say, but you'll eventually view dead bodies as mere objects that you need to deal with. If you let every death you see on the job get to you, then you won't last more than a few years. If you work for even a moderately busy agency, you're going to see a LOT of death scenes.
            Going to quote the man right here cause he said it very well. I've seen quite a few bodies and my share of grisly injuries and deaths. There has only been 1 scene so far that really bothered me at all, and that was when I found the body of a girl I went to high school with after she had OD'd on heroin at a local scumbag motel. It got me thinking to how we could have been in the same spot in life at one point but taken such different paths. Freaky when you think about it.

            But then I went and ate a big dinner and was all better.

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            • #21
              I agree with everyone else. No two coppers are alike or deal with death the same way. In the area I work, I've seen more violent death than I can ever count. I always like the idea of having some cold suds with buddies after a long day and laughing about our hard day.

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              • #22
                Critical Incident Stress Mgmt (CISM)

                Do you have a life skills clinic there? It shouldn't impact your career if you talk to them, provided you feel the need to. There may also be a CISM team on base that could help. By all means, dont hold that $hit in,,you'll end up a mean, old and crusty retired TSgt like me. There aint no shame in asking for help.

                Beano
                Minimum effort yeilds minimal results

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                • #23
                  Never saw a suicide, but have had to talk a couple out of it.

                  Have found 3 dead bodies in the past(2 murders, and one who died from AIDS). And about half a dozen accident victims.

                  Doesn't haunt me, although I thought it would. I guess maybe it's because it happened on the job, and I was in "cop mode" the whole time, which made me do my job, and didn't give me time to let it get to me personally.

                  Strangely, what affects me the most is a battered woman or child. It's all I can do to keep from wanting to give their abusers a taste of their own.

                  But like the others said, don't keep it bottled up- it will only lead to trouble. Talk to a counselor, or talk about it in here. I'm sure most of us understand.
                  Never make a drummer mad- we beat things for a living!

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by WTPD3534
                    There has only been 1 scene so far that really bothered me at all, and that was when I found the body of a girl I went to high school with after she had OD'd on heroin at a local scumbag motel. It got me thinking to how we could have been in the same spot in life at one point but taken such different paths. Freaky when you think about it.
                    He's not dead....yet....but there is a bum that frequents my area, we went to elementary school together. I remember playing G.I. Joes with him as a kid, and now I've lost count how many times I've dragged him out of doorways or from behind dumpsters because he's drunk off his *** on Listerine (yes, the mouthwash). As you said, it's eerie to think how close we once were, and how we chose such different paths in life.
                    Talk sense to a fool, and he will call you foolish - Euripides

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                    • #25
                      I am not a cop.
                      One of my friends when I was in 8th grade killed himself with a shotgun. Our families used to go camping together.
                      "In these modern times, many men are wounded for not having weapons or knowledge of their use."
                      -Achille Marozzo, 1536

                      Ne Obliviscaris - Do Not Forget

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Bluntforcetraum
                        I am not a cop.
                        One of my friends when I was in 8th grade killed himself with a shotgun. Our families used to go camping together.
                        In a similar vein, a guy I grew up with and played football with killed his mother our senior year. Some of the officers in our town said it was the most grizzly thing they've seen.
                        Hail hail the gang's all here, when the going gets tough I know my friends will still be there. - Drop Kick Murphys, "The Gang's all Here"

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                        • #27
                          Not to get too far off subject, but someone that went to my highschool a couple years before I did killed his Grandparents with a hammer on the street behind the school.
                          "In these modern times, many men are wounded for not having weapons or knowledge of their use."
                          -Achille Marozzo, 1536

                          Ne Obliviscaris - Do Not Forget

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Delta784
                            He's not dead....yet....but there is a bum that frequents my area, we went to elementary school together. I remember playing G.I. Joes with him as a kid, and now I've lost count how many times I've dragged him out of doorways or from behind dumpsters because he's drunk off his *** on Listerine (yes, the mouthwash). As you said, it's eerie to think how close we once were, and how we chose such different paths in life.
                            Around here, these crazy bums will drink rubbing alcohol if they can't beg, borrow, or steal enough to get a bottle of "Brick", "T-Bird", or Night Train. They call it "rub-a-dub."

                            Hell to see someone who had such potential decide to turn to booze, drugs, or both, and make a royal mess out of themself. I've known a few, too, to include my own sister. I'm about 99.9% sure she is a meth user. I'll probably know for sure someday soon when I get the word her heart just exploded on her.
                            Never make a drummer mad- we beat things for a living!

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                            • #29
                              Dante, I hear where you're coming from. I had my first one(suicide) on New Years Eve last year, 18 y/o male hung himself on his mom's porch. The body didn't bother me so much as the screaming relatives; hearing his mom scream "Aye Dios Mio" over and over again really affected me. Talk to someone about it, you'll feel better.
                              1*

                              Ten dash eight!

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by beano00
                                Do you have a life skills clinic there? It shouldn't impact your career if you talk to them, provided you feel the need to. There may also be a CISM team on base that could help. By all means, dont hold that $hit in,,you'll end up a mean, old and crusty retired TSgt like me. There aint no shame in asking for help.

                                Beano
                                Yeah, I found that out. A life skills appointment is apparently manditory after an incident like that. (I would have prefered sticking with my chaplin, but okay.) We did the talking thing, I've calmed down. I don't have to worry about being a mean, old and crusty Tsgt. I'm already a cynical, sarcastic, ocassionally ranting, little SOB and refered to frequently as "the oldest young man alive" because of the fact that the majority of my AF friends are E-5s or above or at least 10 years older than me. (For some reason, other airmen just...drive me nuts. Especially the ones straight out of high school.)
                                "The world isn't as it should be. It's harsh. And it's cruel. That's why there's us. Champions. We live as if the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be."-Angel Season 4

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