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Murphy's Cop Laws


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  • Murphy's Cop Laws

    Just for the heck of it, here are some interesting sayings about law enforcement.

    "High speed chases will always proceed from an area of light traffic to an area of extremely heavy traffic."

    "Tear gas works on cops too, and regardless of wind direction, will always blow back in your face."

    "Placing a gun back in a shoulder holster with your finger on the trigger will cause you to walk with a limp."

    "If a cop swings a baton in a fight, he will hit other cops more often than he will hit the bad guys he swings at."

    "If you have `cleared' all the rooms and met no resistance, you and your entry team have probably kicked in the door of the wrong house."

    "When a civilian sees a red light approaching at a high rate of speed, he will always pull into the lane the cop needs to use."

    "The better you do your job, the more likely you are to be shot, injured, complained on, sued, investigated, or subpoenaed on your day off."

    "If you drive your patrol car to the geometric center of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes some civilian will pull along side you and ask for directions."

    "If you have just punched out a handcuffed prisoner for spitting at you, you are about to become a star on `Eyewitness News'."

    "Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available weapons (living room), to an area with many available weapons (kitchen)."

    "Any suspect with a rifle is a better shot than any cop with a pistol."

    "If a large group of drunk bikers is "holed-up" in a house, the Department will send one officer in a beat car. If there is one biker "holed-up" in a house, they will send the entire S. W. A. T. Team."

    "Justice will exist when both parties admit their faults..."

  • #2
    She's baaaaaaaack!
    Hail hail the gang's all here, when the going gets tough I know my friends will still be there. - Drop Kick Murphys, "The Gang's all Here"


    • #3
      "The better you do your job, the more likely you are to be shot, injured, complained on, sued, investigated, or subpoenaed on your day off.

      I agree wholeheartedly with this statement.


      • #4
        I just loved the entry team at the wrong house thing,
        Yesterday I was driving by the local supermartket, I was going very slow with windows down. Right by the main entrance and I see a car coming towarsd me and I justr knew he needed something. His finger was out the window pointing to me and an older male says "Yo, do you know if they are open tomorrow" I said "YO, what," and he says Iam sorry I mean Officer. I say its ok Ive been called worse. Then I say I have no idea if their open, maybe the sign on the door could tell you..
        And I drive away kinda mad This wasnt some inner city type just some older white male suburbanite. BTW- rightr after roll call and BEFORE my first coffee I ran into a disabled vehicle in the middle of sunday afternoon traffic. It was a guy , his girlfriend and their daughter, Inner city types if you wanna know. I sat and called AAA for them and stayed with them until the tow arrived. Then I gave them a ride in the back of the patrol car to the supermarket. They ahd a friend supposedly come by and pick them up Later. I pull right up to the front of the market and say"Hey you guys are like VIPs, people are all watching you guys get a polcie escort to the market" He laughed and asked for my name and said Thanks man... Its nice to be appreciated by some people. NOT YO.
        I got nothing for now


        • #5
          -Finally being able to get a hot meal or a nice hot cup of coffee will result in a top priority call, causing you to either have to ditch it, or leave it to get cold.

          -Finally getting to eat a decent, satisfying meal will result in a foot chase right after!

          -Only brand new uniforms get torn, stained, etc.

          -Only brand new patrol cars get barfed in or worse.
          Never make a drummer mad- we beat things for a living!


          • #6
            If the barricaded suspect is in range, so are you.

            The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick, and bite.

            Shatterproof flashlights aren't.

            Waterproof boots might be.

            Sn***y tritium night sights are as visible to the bad guy standing behind you as theyy are to you.

            Uniform ties have a magnetic attraction to gravy and ketchup.

            The speed of a patrol car responding to a fight in progress is in inverse proportion to the tenure of the cop driving it.

            No patrol car issued to you will be clean, in good working order, and have a full tank of gas simultaneously.

            I know I've got more...
            Tim Dees, now writing as a plain old forum member, his superpowers lost to an encounter with gold kryptonite.


            • #7
              LOL-thanks for a much needed laugh!!!


              • #8
                The light and/or battery-powered sights on your rifle will work perfectly every single time you go to the range, and will fail at the exact moment you are moving into position on the perimeter of a barricaded suspect.
                Cogito ergo summopere periculosus.


                • #9
                  The victim of a gunshot or knife wound who is at the Hospital 10 minutes prior to the end of your shift on Friday will have been shot/stabbed in your beat!
                  There's no substitute for strength,
                  and no excuse for a lack of it!!


                  MR300x250 Tablet


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