A little Friday afternoon humor

[trpr2b]

I wanted to see if everyone here would list their slang, comical sayings. Here are some of the ones I know/use.


I feel like a fart in a whirlwind today.

Busier than a one armed paper hanger.

He's eat up with the dumbass.

She fell out of the ugly tree and struck every branch on the way down.

Feel free to add to the list

[Tennsix]

She is so ugly, she could make a train take a dirt road.

[keith758]

"Time to make like a fetus and head out."

"Shakier than a dog shi!tin' peach pits."

"Her *** is so big that when you tell her to haul ***, it takes two trips."

[Ken K]

"Colder than a Minnesota well digger's gizzard."

[Ken K]

One more. When my dad saw a pregnant woman of some repute he would remark about the possible father.

"That's like getting hit in the *** by a buzzsaw, you don't know which tooth did the most damage."

[trpr2b]

One more. When my dad saw a pregnant woman of some repute he would remark about the possible father.

"That's like getting hit in the *** by a buzzsaw, you don't know which tooth did the most damage."

Oh man, that's funny!

Around here they acutally say colder than a well diggers ***.

[Ken K]

Oh man, that's funny!

Around here they acutally say colder than a well diggers ***.

Heard that too, but we love Minnesota!

[duckfan]

She had an *** that was two nightsticks wide.

[pkagel]

Some of my favorites from the academy.

I'll put my shoe so far up your A.. you'll be tasting shoe polish

That's Felony F

[LovnTheFuzz]

I thought this was hilarious first time i heard it...

"That's funnier than a hairlip playing Bingo!"

[DMS 525]

One made famous by my Dad, to say something would not work: "That'd work like a saddle on a sow!"

He'd also say "Shaking like a dog ****ting razor blades."

In describing how my Grandma overreacted to an incident; "She had 15 cats tail first!"

There are so many more, and as I'll remember them, I'll post them.

[Jetter2]

I thought this was hilarious first time i heard it...

"That's funnier than a hairlip playing Bingo!"

I happen to have a "hairlip". I was born with a bilateral cleft lip and even with corrective surgery I had to learn to beat up people at a very young age.

I am now a Specialist in the United States Army as a Combat Medic. I am on the Line with the troops, in the dirt with the grunts.

Something such as "hairlip" I take offense too, not because it

[e-man]

I actually used this one time after chasing a male for domestic on foot downtown. WE caught up to him and had him cuffed against a building but he wouldnt shut up, kept going and going and going, so I says "You have the right to remain silent, Now shut the [email protected]#K UP"
Irt worked too. A aquaintance was walking by, liberal lawyer but good person he heard that and laughed his *** off, I saw him at dinner later that night and he told our friend the restaurant owner and they had a great chuckle. Now the restaurant owner being a marine and on the conservative side, he said we should use that from now on...

But to answer the post- My favorite sayingwas always used in da 'hood- 'He aint nuttin to me, he jus my babies daddy...'

[Photogrrlz]

I was watching the news today.....

and some lady said "The world is going to hell on roller skates"

[Ken K]

DMS 525, must be a midwest thing because my dad had tons of them.

Sometimes he'd refer to me being "as worthless as t-ts on a boar hog."

One more. "When all else fails, read the directions!"