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  • But Officer...

    The topic "One Liners" got me thinking of the reverse. What are lines the public has given you?

    I think my favorite was when I was apprehending a female for driving with a suspended license. "You're treating me like i'm a criminal. You should be out stopping crime."
    The only thing evil needs to triumph, is for good men to do nothing.

  • #2
    I was writing a guy a ticket for parking in a handicapped space at a local grocery store. He says, 'I can't believe you're giving me a ticket when there are all these other empty spaces to park in', he said as he waved his hand out over the parking lot....

    'Exactly', was my reply.
    "When you guys get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a *****."
    -Commanding General, 1st Marine Division

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    • #3
      Me: Ma'am, do you know why I stopped you?

      her: Because I'm not wearing a seatbelt?

      Me: Ma'am, you ARE wearing a seatbelt. I stopped you for running the red light.
      "Integrity is like virginity. Once it's lost, you can't get it back." --drunkhunter

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      • #4
        1. Officer, I gotta dookie!
        2. I just started my period and I need a pad.
        3. Insert all other bathroom excuses here.
        4. I'm speeding because I'm almost out of gas.
        5. But, officer, it was yellow!
        6. I left my insurance at home.
        7. Those are illegal? How come the store sells them??
        8. My kids won't stay in their seats, that's why they aren't buckled.
        9. But my radar detector never went off!
        10. What do you mean this car is stolen? I just rented it from Chico for $5!

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        • #5
          Girl (not a blonde) was stopped for a traffic violation & then found to have a DVD player hooked into the stereo making it visible to the driver. When told that it was against the law, she replied, "I thought that was just if you were watching it."

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          • #6
            Can ya'll stop women if they are putting their make-up on while driving? I wish you would...that drives me nuts! I saw a woman change lanes by me me once ...she was putting on mascara with her right hand while looking in her rearview and had a cell phone between her left shoulder and ear and was holding the steering wheel with her left hand. Now she should have been stopped and pistol whipped or at least slapped. Come on....
            "You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas."
            Davy Crockett

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            • #7
              Make-up, that's nothin'. I've actually seen people drive and READ A BOOK at the same time.
              "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. " -- ???

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              • #8
                What's the craziest thing you guys and gals have seen someone do while driving?

                [ 06-12-2003, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: BunnyFoo-Foo ]
                "You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas."
                Davy Crockett

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                • #9
                  quote:
                  Originally posted by BunnyFoo-Foo:
                  Can ya'll stop women if they are putting their make-up on while driving? I wish you would...that drives me nuts! I saw a woman change lanes by me me once ...she was putting on mascara with her right hand while looking in her rearview and had a cell phone between her left shoulder and ear and was holding the steering wheel with her left hand. Now she should have been stopped and pistol whipped or at least slapped. Come on....

                  Yep, you can make a case for violating the basic speed law (22350, California Vehicle Code). It's illegal to drive faster than is safe for the conditions. The safe speed for applying makeup, especially while talking on a handheld phone at the same time, or for reading a book, is zero. If the car is moving, the driver cannot properly pay attention to the driving or be prepared to maneuver to avoid an accident, thus is driving faster than is safe for conditions.
                  Government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. - Ronald Reagan

                  I don't think It'll happen in the US because we don't trust our government. We are a country of skeptics, raised by skeptics, founded by skeptics. - Amaroq

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                  • #10
                    Craziest thing? I saw a woman breastfeeding a baby while driving. That was also the thing that ticked me off the most. It was a new Camry and I know it had airbags so just think- she's paying attention to the baby, rear ends the person in front of her, sets off the airbag and kills her baby. If the baby was that fussy or hungry- PULL OVER! What could be possibly be that important to risk that?
                    Hey, you-
                    OUTTA THE GENE POOL!
                    Don't take life too seriously- you'll never come out of it alive.

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                    • #11
                      PeacefulDragon,

                      I dont suppose you saw what the book was, did you? "Driving Regulations" perhaps. Or "The Darwin Awards"
                      Daisy NY

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                      • #12
                        LOL. No, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was one of those books.

                        However, sadly, I have seen the "reading book while driving" thing at least a few times in my life.
                        "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. " -- ???

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                        • #13
                          Officer: How much have you had to drink tonight?

                          Driver: Two beers

                          That is always the answer...never just one, or four, or none, it's always two beers. I laughed till I cried the time I transcribed a drunk driving report and the driver answered: "Sir, I've had two 12 packs and I'm ripped!" This is the first (and only) time in all my years of typing police reports that the driver answered honestly. Even the deputy was surprised! Of course, in the middle of the night on a graveyard shift when you're working alone, and you're so sleepy you don't know your own name, almost anything will strike you as funny.

                          [ 06-13-2003, 01:18 AM: Message edited by: auntysuz63 ]
                          "Americans don't want a mentally unstable president; he might start a war or something." - Bill Maher

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                          • #14
                            quote:
                            Originally posted by BunnyFoo-Foo:
                            What's the craziest thing you guys and gals have seen someone do while driving?

                            Saw a guy playing the trumpet, thought it was so strange I actually took a picture of him doing it.
                            Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

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                            • #15
                              quote:
                              Originally posted by Fastie:
                              quote:
                              Originally posted by BunnyFoo-Foo:
                              What's the craziest thing you guys and gals have seen someone do while driving?

                              Saw a guy playing the trumpet, thought it was so strange I actually took a picture of him doing it.
                              I once saw a guy driving while taking a picture of a guy driving and playing the trumpet... Damnedest thing I ever saw.
                              Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.
                              -Mark Twain

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