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The little piggy grew up.

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  • The little piggy grew up.

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    [ 10-07-2002, 11:50 PM: Message edited by: Signal 24 ]

  • #2
    I wanted to make a comment about the three pigs... but that would be politically incorrect.
    So i'll just say that someones going to get porked in the ole'dumper.

    [ 10-07-2002, 11:57 PM: Message edited by: Mortal Knight ]

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    • #3
      Police today announced a breakthrough in the rash of illegal turkey carcass dumpings at grocery stores throughout the metropolitan area.

      Porky *NMI* Pig was arrested by police officials yesterday and charged with auto theft, burglary, operating a commercial vehicle without a license, illegal waste disposal and animal cruelty.

      Pig, an unemployed actor, allegedly was disgruntled over the continued use of turkey in traditional pork-related products. According to police spokesman Donald Duck, Pig allegedly stole a commercial dump truck from local contractor Bob T. Builder, visited local turkey farms at night and absconded with truckloads of turkeys. It is unclear at this time whether the turkeys were killed before or after Pig loaded them into the truck.

      As Pig was being led into police headquarters, he shouted the following,
      "Pork, pork, the other white meat,
      Turkey-man controls the heat!"

      State investigations into the turkey industry's influence with local police are ongoing.


      I have way too much time on my hands.
      Caution and worry never accomplished anything.

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      • #4
        You wrote that? Good Job.

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        • #5
          UPDATE

          Porky Pig was arraigned today on numerous charges stemming from his multi-week turkey-dumping spree. Pig allegedly conducted the turkey dumpings in protest over the use of turkey meat in bacon, hot dogs, bologna and other products traditionally controlled by the pork industry.

          "We haven't seen this kind of turkey carnage since Cinncinnati's Thanksgiving Day massacre back in the 80's," said Assistant District Attorney Augie Doggie. In that event, WKRP news broadcaster Les Nessman released dozens of turkeys from a helicopter in an ill-fated radio promotion. Nessman was unaware the birds could not fly.

          Pig pleaded guilty to the charges of auto theft, burglary, operating a commercial vehicle without a license and illegal waste dumping. He pleaded not guilty to the charge of animal cruelty. According to Pig's attorney, Jabber Jaws, "This simply began as a turkey-education program. Once the turkeys were informed of the insidious nature of their industry and of the hardships realized by unemployed swine throughout the country, they committed mass suicide."
          Caution and worry never accomplished anything.

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