Worried about a friend

[Mitzi1]

I babysat for some friends last night and was most concerned about the husband. They went out to eat and he came home three sheaths to the wind. He could barely walk and he drove home! I am trying to tell them that a DUI COULD be in their future if they keep it up. He came over, apologizing for his actions and words, so sorry. I told him I was more concerned aboiut the fact he drove home like that. I told him a DUI would ruin his life. They are already financially strapped and a DUI would really be devastating. I told him if I smelled alcohol on his breath and he got in a car, I would call police. It was only by the grace of God they got home ok. And what kills me is that his wife let him drive because she had two glasses of wine!
How do you get through to people that a DUI can ruin their lives? It can ruin other peoples lives too! A DUI is not something that happens to other people. It CAN happen to them with jail time if he killed someone. I am just so upset with them.

[ 03-05-2003, 11:43 AM: Message edited by: Mitzi1 ]

[John Menso]

Hello, Mitzi. I have a suggestion, but it would require someone stepping up to the plate and entering the batter's box.

If he is observed drinking and driving with his children in the car, I would think a call to your State Registry For Child Abuse may be in order.

Perhaps the thought of having his children removed from his household would be enough for him to get the help he apparently needs.

Perhaps a visit from the State, concerning her children's welfare, would have an impact on his wife's attitude.

[Mitzi1]

I have never observed him driving while drunk except this one time. I have a hard time believing he would with his little girl with him. They waited so long for her and I believe the Mother would NEVER stand for that. I have just noticed an increase in his drinking. I smell in on him from time to time but this is the first time I've seen him drunk. I had a talk with his wife and voiced my concern. I hope I made myself clear.

[Sam]

Get another man to talk to him Mitzi and ask him how he would feel if he killed someone especially his family. Then get him to go to an AA program or to a church. He has problems and is looking at the bottom of a bottle for solutions but he won't find any there.

[Mitzi1]

I think I got upset enough he took notice. My husband is going to talk to him tomorrow. This man has tremendous stress on him and drinking is how he is handling it. I know my husband can get through. I had smelled it on him before but it was when he was home. I never saw him drive before.
People just don't realize that 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine can constitute a DUI. My own son thought he could drink and not drive for 4 hours. It's weird how so many people try to fool themselves and other saying, "I can handle my liquor". Too late, they realize the liquor handles them.

[jellybean40]

quote:

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Originally posted by Mitzi1:
People just don't realize that 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine can constitute a DUI. My own son thought he could drink and not drive for 4 hours. It's weird how so many people try to fool themselves and other saying, "I can handle my liquor". Too late, they realize the liquor handles them.

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You are so right. and people believe this when they are drunk AND when they are sober. i have a friend who drinks and drives, and i'm constantly warning him about it. but even when sober, he swears he drives fine after 10 beers

When i had my bad accident while DUI years back, my friend and i had "walked it off" first, by walking around the block for about an hour before i got behind the wheel. i dont think that took care of about 10 Tequila Sunrises in our system! ...

As an adult your friend should know better, the teens and young people are the ones it's hardest to convince, i think.

[Mitzi1]

My son was very difficult to get through to about this. He turned 18 and it was like the other parents just told their kids they were now adults and they were through raising them. No way did I feel that way. I kept close reins on my son because I knew what they were all up to. I don't think my son really WANTED to drink, they would just tease him if he didn't. When he became ill, he used that as an excuse not to drink and he was always the designated driver. Then, his driving got taken away from him because of seizures and he went through the pain of relizeing they were never friends in the first place because they all avoided him.

[Chaplain Keppy]

Mitzi--
If you contact AA, they have a number of informational brochures about problem drinking. And your local sheriff's dept. might have brochures about drinking and driving. It's great that your husband is going to talk to him, but it may help to leave some info behind, too. Talking face to face with a friend, he may feel like he needs to save face and defend what he's doing. But just reading information in the privacy of his own head, he may be more open to considering whether he has a problem.

[Mitzi1]

That's a good idea. My husband talked to him and told him we would be watching because we cared about him and his family. He told him it was getting out of control and he'd be darned if he'd let him hurt anyone or himself. The guy is so contrite and embarassed but that's better then him or someone else dead.