Ungrateful children.

[Blonde Heat]

Do any of you have these?

I woke up and turned on the oven in the Az 116 heat to make my son a cake. Get it all finished. Asked him if he wanted to visit as a water park or do anything he wanted since it was his birthday. And can you believe the little brat said we go swimming all the time i just want to go to my grandmas house. So after my initial want to pinch his now 14 year old face off i said sure than lets take your cake to thier house and share with the grandparents. We get there and grandma feeds all 8 grandkids each a different meal because the one she initially made was not good enough for each child. (BTW I hate when she does this.) Then we start to sing happy birthday and let him blow out the candles and serve the cake only to hear my son say "Oh!, I don't eat cake." I was fuming. I could have saved myself the heat stroke from turning damn oven on.

[207]

Originally posted by ftrphxcop:
"Oh!, I don't eat cake."

Just remember that for the next time cake is served somewhere... "Remember, YOU don't eat cake."
I've done that with my daughter, (10yo) in fact if she doesn't like what I'm making to eat then I tell her.. "make yourself something to eat then." and go about my business. There's that momentary look of confusion and she makes what she wants. Of course I follow this up with.. "clean up the mess you make!".

[Mike Tx]

Future, you're the boss. Kick their ***.

[jellybean40]

I dont have any kids lol so i have to go by MY childhood, and friends i have with kids.

i wasnt spoiled like kids are nowadays, and i appreciated everything i got. i'm not saying you spoil your kids! cuz i dont know you, and that is your business anyway. i know everyone wants to *do* for their children. i just know that at the start of school or change of season, i was bought a couple new outfits, no more than that...and i lived at the shore all summer and i had 2 bathing suits each year. one of my good friends has bought her 13 yr old daughter FIVE of them so far this summer. all the girl does is YELL at her mother and never listens. neither does the 16 yr old son, who they have bought a brand new 3-wheeler (or whatever they're called), which he rode 2 or 3 times, along with everything else he sees that he wants. we were just talking at work about what we remember as children, and it was the fun family times, not how much clothes we had. i understand times are different now, but i feel bad for my friend AND her kids, they already have a screwed-up system of values.

anyway, what you did with the cake was just being a good mom, IMHO. i just think he didnt realize that he's lucky to have a mom that would bake him a cake, but i dont think kids ever do!

i agree with what 207 said, also. my ex-sis-in-law got a special meal made for her each nite, which HAD to include mashed potatos, and she grew more and more fussy and spoiled from it.

as i said, i dont have kids so i dont give too much advice to my friends. but i see LOTS of ungrateful kids, sometimes they're just being kids, like i think your son was. sometimes they're spoiled rotten tho, and WON'T ever be any better.

[ 07-07-2002: Message edited by: jellybean40 ]

[Mike Tx]

Ftr, as a parent, I can say do not do anything special to appease them. Punish them when needed, and make them learn to accept what you say, but always let them know that they can talk to you and that you are not god, and that they are not above punishment, and you are not above making a mistake. It doesn't hurt to "let them fall" either.

[Mitzi]

Some teenagers enjoy being hard to get along with. I would have taken the cake and thrown it in the garbage. I did that once when our son was 15. He ws in a bad mood and I had taken the time to make him his favorite, a carrot cake. He LOVES carrot cake. He took one look at it and said, "I'm not eating that crap". I said, "No problem" and threw it in the garbage. He got this horrified look on his face and I said, "Crap goes in the garbage."
You have to point out things to your son, that you had taken time out of your day to make a special cake for him. And the grandmother isn't helping either. She is encouraging a narcissistic attitude in your son and all the other grandkids that they are "special". My son would eat what she cooked or he wouldn't eat at all....his choice.
Teenagers can be VERY self-centered. And you have to call them on that. They have to remember that, not only do other people exist, they have feelings too.
I take NO crap off my H or my son. They want to cop (no pun intended) an attitude, then they can wash their own clothes and cook their own meals. I'm no ones slave.
Your son was being very selfish and you need to tell him that.

[Branden Whitney]

I for one think that you should have thrown the cake at him and make him sleep in the garage. One of the many reasons I dont want kids is what you are talking about. I am a teen, and can say I would never act like that. I grew out of that when I was 5 at the most. I personally dont like swimming, but then again, I also have a severe phobia of water.

When my mother and sister took the time to make me a cake for my birthday, two years ago I believe, I ate it. It was good too, I probaly ate half the cake that night. And I was very grateful, because I knew it was just for me. From the pan, to the small Scooby Doo candies on top.

But, the past few years I have to say, if I was spoiled, then I cant be now, the past two years could change any teen. But as far as your son, he needs to learn, that one day he will not have Mommy or Daddy to fall back on, not saying you are going anywhere soon, and he should be glad that you took the time and effort to make his cake. And he should eat it, even if he didnt want to.

Normally, I would defend kids because I think alot of people feel we are all brats who dont care for anyone but ourselves. But when others acted like that it makes it harder to prove others and that theory wrong. While I think that he should have been punished even though it was his birthday, because it proved he didnt really care about the effort it took to make that cake.

You can always get him back next year by one of two things, not getting him a cake. Or buying a cupcake with the type of cake he dislikes the most.

One other reason why it is hard to acted like that on my birthday is because it is on the 29 of December. Way too cold.

But I agree with all of you. That was very selfish. Next year he might not be so lucky to get the same treatment (which I hope he doesnt).

Bran.

[ 07-07-2002: Message edited by: Branden Whitney ]

[kirch]

This reminds me of a newsmagazine show I watched once. The story was about parents that didn't know what to do with their problem kids. They showed this family that had two young children. The mother would make dinner every night, then the kids would sit down at the table and say they didn't like it. She then GOT UP AND MADE EACH OF THEM SOMETHING THEY WANTED! My wife and I saw this and looked at each other with a you've-got-to-be-kidding-me look on our faces.

The best advice I ever got on this was from a friend of my family who is a retired doctor. Years ago he told us, "A kid won't starve himself. If he doesn't like what you're having for dinner, you don't have to force him to eat. Just excuse him from the table. I guarantee, he'll eat whatever you make for breakfast." Both my 10-year-old and my 5-year-old learned early on what our answer is when they complain about what we're eating -- "Then don't eat. You're excused."

As a matter of fact, it's now coming full circle. Our oldest son now likes to sometimes make dinner for us. When he does, it's usually something you'd expect a kid his age to make. Once, he made hot dogs for us. When I asked him which hot dogs he had used, he told me he used the ones I don't like (I prefer the all-beef type). I told him I didn't care for that kind of hot dog. His reply? "Then don't eat." Score one for the kid. I ate his hot dogs with a smile on my face.

[shorty]

Okay, since were on the topic of ungrateful children... I remember growing up we didn't have much and what we had we appreciated. I have been working since I was 13 yoa. I bought my first car and paid for every last cent, upkeep, insurance, etc. Kids these days have no values. They have no working skills they just want to sit back and have the world handed to them on a platter (and it better be silver or it won't be good enough). When I was growing up, I did odd jobs all around the neighborhood in addition to my regular chores. Just the other day, I was out busting my butt in my yard cleaning out flower beds, etc. All the neighborhood kids were out screaming and playing. I thought you know I would pay a couple of those kids of they would help my old self do this work but being that I never see them do work in their own yards (and they are old enough) I didn't waste my time asking. Do you think any of them asked me? NO! I worry about kids growing up now. They have no values or anything. I know my kids won't be running and playing while I am busting my butt doing work . Work first, play later. This is kind of off the topic but it's been driving me crazy to tell someone.

Anyway, I would have thrown the cake at him! I know one thing, next birthday he'll be wondering where his cake is at!

[Branden Whitney]

and it better be silver or it won't be good enough

Silver? Man Platinum. That is what they want. Dont forget about the diamonds, have to have those.

Not all, alot, but not all kids are like that though.

[klar]

I remember when I first got to enjoy my step children. They were very picky eaters and used to thier mom cooking them all something that they liked so they all had their one dish to eat and did not eat anything else. I put a stop to that by serving a meal one night. They all looked at it and said they did not like it. I told them it was this or nothing. They ate it and if they did not like it they did not say anything to me. They all know now that they eat what is served and the things that they eat nowadays is surprising. They have found that there is different tastes out there and they do not have to like just this or that. I also have a rule that if you waste food you go without too. I hate nothing else than a child who takes one bite of something and all of a sudden is not hungry anymore and wants to throw it out. One tried that last year with tater tots saying he does not like potatoes. Well that lasted about a week when the other potatoe dishes were denied to him. All of a sudden he likes potatoes again LOL. I have found in the past two years there is a lot of give and take with kids. I have a hard time on the giving part but I am learning. I know the kids are learning to that the household is a dictatorship and they are not the dictators but I AM!! LOL I guess they think this is supposed to be a democracy or something LOL I think as time goes by they are going to be very well adjusted kids it just takes time.

I think next year ftphxcp that he does not get a cake or a special dinner or even a special day as he does not appriciate what he has take it from him and see what happens then.

Klar

[shooter1201]

What kind of cake?

[Joseph]

I find it kind of funny because I have been in your shoes many times. My kids have only got an $ss whipping once in their life. I guess being an LEO gave me a lot of patience. However one day when they were small we were taking a Sunday trip to the Gulf Coast. I had three at the time in the back seat. Well they kept touching each other. My daughter kept saying Daddy he touched me on the arm with his finger, then the son. then the other one for almost an hour. Well gradually I got ****ed and climbed over the front seat instead of opening the door and whipped everyone's $ss. Not a beating just a pop on the behind. I had never touched them before. Then I turned around and went back home. Today they can all remember the day Daddy got mad and they got popped. Never touched them after that. It's still funny they talk about it and they in college and some are married. The other crazy thing I did once it was one of those days where they were Dadding me to death so I paid them off to call me Sam. I couldn't hear Daddy anymore. My wife could't figure out what was going on when we got home. However they kept there agreement and I had a nice day.

[shadows]

Oh, drat it all! You mean there are actually parents who make their children what they want to eat?

I used to be a live-in nanny for six kids. One day I made them lasagna out of the goodness of my heart and they spent the entire meal complaining about the type of cheese I used. I have never made them lasagna again. But hey, they're pretty good kids. Now they're getting to be teenagers and on the verge of discovering a marvelous new invention that wasn't around when they were young: members of the opposite sex.

[Blonde Heat]

What kind of cake?

The kind you eat ( or in my sons case the kind you don't eat.)

I'm just joking Shooter. Your comment reminded me of what my husband says when i ask him what he wants to eat.

me: What do you want to eat?
him: Food.
me: What kind of food?
him: The kind you eat.

I too remember being a kid and hardly getting anything. We got school new clothes twice a year. Once for school and once for your birthday. Everything that didn't fit was used for summer and was cut off if pants or handed down to the next child to wear. Lucky for me i was the one who could never share clothes because i was athletic and the two other girl's were waifs. But all our cakes were made because we could not afford store bought cakes. I try to alternate to show them not all things have to come from a store to be special. Anybody see the cover of womans day magazine? That 4th of july cake was what i made.