Relationship Status

[RachelR]

Just a fun poll to see the relationship status of everyone in here and to start some conversation.

If you are single, do you find it hard to meet people? Or do you find it hard to meet the right kind of people?

If you're married, what's the secret of your success? If applicable, does being in law enforcement affect your marriage negatively?

And if you're divorced.. are you still looking or have you given up on finding the right person?

[ghost]

single- and find it very hard to find guys who are *right*
There isn't even a whole lot that I look for, and my situation is sort of backwards:
I like guys who are independent and don't need to be doing something with me all the freaking time. It seems that all the guys I've dated need to call like every 2 hrs. I hate that. I thought girls (generalization) were the ones that got upset when guys didn't call??
I'm weird too, because I HATE getting flowers. Most of the guys I've gone out with, or even just know, send roses and stuff. ugh. Spend the money on something more useful for yourself.
And if I barely know you- do NOT show up at my house (especially if I never told you where I live!!) uninvited. I've had guys show up when I'm working, then next thing I know, they're at my front door. CREEPY!

[LeeRoy]

Married for seven years as of last week and we just had baby #4 (our first boy!) on Friday. Secret to sucess? Marriage is work but the work is enjoyable. As with any relationship there are good times and there are not so good times (I almost typed bad but we haven't had bad times). I try and make our marriage more important than my job.

Ghost, where were girls like you when I was single A chick that doesn't need flowers or constant attention. What a dream girl

[ 09-16-2002, 01:18 AM: Message edited by: LeeRoy ]

[jessiejordan]

If you are single, do you find it hard to meet people?
>> YES ! its hard to meet people bc so many folks have different schedules and stuff and you never know if someone is "attached" . My Mom, who was born during WWII, said she knew to stay away from a guy if he had a ring on his finger...and vice versa, but she says nowadays that doesnt mean anything....someone can be "legally single" but living together or otherwise very attached. I agree, that does confuse things...never thought about it from that point of view.

>>Or do you find it hard to meet the right kind of people?

>> VERY much so. I was raised very old-fashioned, I want a man who can take responsibility, who wants to be the head of household and the leader { and is worthy of such distinction }and who believes in a traditional marriage arrangement where the man goes out and works and the woman cares for the home and the children, if there are any. too many men my age { late 20's } are poisoned by the feminist bs. dont get me wrong, I am glad we have laws to protect women from being treated the way they were back in the sixties, but I also think if a woman consciously decides to stay home and be a housewife, she should be for this honored and applauded. but most men view that as " " . also I want someone who really, , has a love for children and who will be making a good father. I always feel you can gauge a man's character by the way he treats children and animals - and not just his own ! Lastly, I want someone with high moral standards and values. oh, and he better be passionate, too, I'm a regular old energizer bunny !!!!

[jessiejordan]

I havent figured out how to work those stupid emphasizers !!! where its saying I / I it should read "she is just lazy" and where it says B/B it should say "truly". guess I gotta take a class on how to work those codes....

[jellybean40]

Well Jessie you will probably have good luck finding a man like that, you are young also, and have plenty of time. the only thing is, it's hard to make it on one salary nowadays. people want a house and two car payments and it makes it tough...so look for a rich man LOL.

It seems to me that men dont go much for independent, strong women... the ones that i know, anyway. they seem to go for needier ones lol. yet the women that are b*tches have really *nice guys*, usually. ok, i'm generalizing! but its from what i have seen They need to understand that alot of women have been thrown into situations where they HAVE to be strong and take charge...

I am single right now...a couple years ago i got out of a 10-yr relationship with someone. before that i was married for 10 years. i dont want to get married again. i'd like to have someone to go out and have fun with, and to stay in and have fun with

I meet alot of people at the job i have now, which is good. i can get to know them and decide if i really like any of them before an actual date.

oh, and to answer the rest of the question... i was married to a LEO and yes it affected our marriage.

and as for my "type" these days... breathing, and male

[ 09-16-2002, 03:00 AM: Message edited by: jellybean40 ]

[klar]

I am married once again. I got divorced because I seemed to do everything wrong and she just wanted me for a wallet. I am still a wallet to her as I have two wonderful daughters. I would not give them up for the world.

I am married to a wonderful person now that I met on the internet. Sandie has three wonderful sons who I treat just like my own sons now. They are fun to be with and to teach the ways of life to. I have brought them from three boys who had no clue to the outdoors to three who enjoy camping a lot now. Heck one is getting to be quite the fire starter. Guess I will have to watch him and arson calls in a few years, LOL I think that I have found a soul mate and I believe that we can be together a long time because sandie and I communicate real well. Yes we have the occasional arguements and such but we try hard not to stay mad at each other. The fact that we can talk to each other to work out the differances makes it much more enjoyable besides saving some poor innocent walls of the house. LOL

Klar

[InSane1]

I think most of you know Im in transition. My divorce should be final on 09/30/02.

Married again? NEVER. at least not for a long time. This sounds bad but I dont think I'll have a problem meeting people. Thing is, will they meet my expectations? I have one of those images of what a man should really be like (I don't mean physically).

The most important thing to me in a relationship is unconditional love. I only get it from One. ***whispers "right God?"*** They are going to have to be pretty damn close to that before I even consider marriage.

And, they have to be able to accept my children, cause they are just 8 & 9 YOA and a part of me. Plus, they are going to be around for a bit.

Now that I read this, what are the chances of me finding someone that perfect?

[kateykakes]

I have tried to respond to this post at least a 1/2 dozen times, only to delete the entire post and figure I'll try again another time. I don't want to get too personal, but I would like to offer some commentary.

At the present time, I am not in a relationship, but I am interested in someone. At the very least, I've made a new friend, and one can never have too many friends. I won't speculate on anything else, as I don't look that far into the future. Like my life's motto: Whatever happens, happens.

As far as dating goes, over the past 2+ years, I saw someone who was younger than me. He was single, no children, and he fit into my schedule well, as crude as that may sound. I have children so they will always be my first priority. I'm a package deal. No getting around that. Besides, I wasn't looking for anything long term with him, but that doesn't mean I wasn't very fond of him. Not love, just very fond. I found him to be much more mature than men my age, and he knew my situation and was never pushy. I respected him and he respected me.

I say I'll never marry again because of a bad situation, but that doesn't mean I'm not open to the idea many years down the road. People do change their minds. Do I want a soulmate to share the rest of my years with? Of course I do, but I don't want to be with someone just for the sake of being with them. I want it to be a relationship based on love, trust and respect. After that, all the rest falls into place.

[ 09-16-2002, 06:04 AM: Message edited by: kateykakes ]

[goodgirl]

I am single and I just recently accepted the fact that I will most likely remain that way for a long time to come.

Relationships are hard and quite frankly I am a lousy judge of character.

[shorty]

If you're married, what's the secret of your success? If applicable, does being in law enforcement affect your marriage negatively?

I am married, have been for almost 4 years. We are both very happy. The secret we have is working together, our marriage is about "teamwork". People tell me all the time "well you are still on your honeymoon phase". Well, that may be (although I don't see it) but, my husband treats me the same today as he did 6 years ago when we met and began dating. He still opens the door for me, he still takes me out for romantic evenings, he still thinks about me when he goes to the store and sees something he knows I like. That to me is what is so special, he didn't change when he said "I do".
Another thing, we really don't have any arguements. Our biggest argument is "where do you want to eat tonight? I don't know, where do you want to eat, blah blah blah. (You married people know what I am talking about). We end up spending half our night out deciding where to eat! We also made a promise a long time ago that we would never go to bed mad. So far, we haven't broken that promise OR stayed up all night either. Usually by bedtime, we either forgot what the arguement was about, or realize that it was not as important as we thought! I am glad I'm married, hope I stay that way forever!

[CinaC]

quote:

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independent, strong women...

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I am! Ok, ok, I just want her to earn the money while I stay at home, surf the 'net, and raise the kids

[Mrs. Fish]

Oh pul-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Jeff....

[CinaC]

I just wanna be "Mr. Mom!"

Seriously, though, independence and intelligence in a woman are very important. I look for just the right mix of an assertive quality ... and that can be hard to quantify, y'know?

[Pigskin]

Married 31 years & counting. Does being in law enforcement affect my marriage negatively? Yes & no. It did at points of my career. Starting out & even when I made supervisor there were a few strains because of having to work when other husbands were able to take their wives out on special occasions or times when other dads were doing things with their kids. There were also some bad times while both of us learned to deal with "police groupies". There are still some snide remarks made from time to time about how other wives have such nice houses & such. But, all in all, I think she is proud of what I do, as I am about her & I think a lot of marital problems happen regardless of the occupation.