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  • share funny cop stories

    you got any.

  • #2
    I actually have one! I was at the Mall when a cop parked near me. I was walking by him when he tripped getting out of his car. He wiped out big time! I didn't laugh til he did! lol


    • #3
      I approached this car, with a young guy and gal in it. Asked them what they thought they were doing; the guy says "Officer, we're just necking!"

      I then told him to put his neck back in his pants, and get off the property!

      Another time, we were following this car, weaving across the center line. It was night, and as we closed in, the headlights illuminated the inside of the car. We could see only a driver. But, as we switched on the reds, another head popped up!
      The driver wasn't drunk, just red as a beet, while his pretty little female passenger was grinning like the proverbial Cheshire Cat!
      Never make a drummer mad- we beat things for a living!


      • #4
        LOL, DMS! I liked the one about the "neck back in the pants". I would think being "caught in the act" must be so embarassing! lol!


        • #5
          I just had a felony stop the other night, the girl was in a stolen vehicle, intoxicated beyond reason, pregnant and had felony warrant's from another state. While I had this young lady in my car, she asked me if I would get her one last beer from the half empty twelve pack in the front seat of the car she was driving.
          "But officer, that stop sign is usually not there!" It appears as though it is there today ma'am!


          • #6
            Posted by lazer7:
            share funny cop stories
            A vehicle pulled from a sidestreet onto a busy 7 lane road. All traffic came to a grinding halt as they slammed on their brakes so this lady could unsafely drive across the busy road.

            I got behind her and hit my red & blue lights. She didn't stop. Didn't even tap the brake lights. I hit the siren. Same thing. She kept driving 35 mph in a 45 mph zone. So I hit the odometer buttom to see how far we'd go with the lights & siren on.

            After 1.5 miles, she was forced to stop for traffic that was backed up at a red light. I pulled up behind her, turned off the siren, walked up to the car and saw a 90 year old nun sitting behind the steering wheel. As I'm hulking over the driver's side door, she refused to make eye contact with me and she just stares straight ahead. I have to tap on the window to make her look at me and when she does, I tell her to pull over into a parking lot that was to her right. She says with a suprised look on her face, "Who? Me?"

            (You talkin' to me?)

            After she pulls into the parking lot, I explain everything to her, which you have just read. I wrote her a ticket for failing to yield to all that traffic and almost causing a crash on a busy street. She denies it and begins to argue. She won't sign the ticket.

            I'm not going to arrest a 90 year old nun, so I have to beg her and coax her into signing the ticket. She finally signed it, under protest. After I give her copy of the ticket to her, while I'm standing by the driver's door, she put's her car in reverse, backs into my cruiser, quickly puts her car in drive and then accelerates away without stopping to examine the damages.

            True story. I had her driver's license permanently revoked for that.

            [This message has been edited by me again (edited 07-04-2001).]


            • #7
              Sounds like my grandmother! When it became too unsafe for her to drive, my uncle took her keys. No one knew she had more keys! She was tooling down the road one day on the wrong side of the road. So, my uncle took the car. She was so upset and it saddened him. But, it was just too unsafe for her to be driving.


              • #8
                Bringing back up for lazer.
                6P1 (retired)


                • #9
                  I have a morbidly funny story, as follows:

                  I work in a remote area and recieved a call of a "natural death" (I know dosn't sound right) anyhow 3 hours driving time to arrive and whole familly there. Hostile imbread familly that is. To make a long story short the deceased was there "gramma". She was laying in feild with multiple contusions, lacerations and broken bones. The family tells me that they found her there that morning and that the pet goat must have killed her. They said that the goat had blood on his horns. I asked where the goat was and they pointed to the barn and said,"Right over yander, we dun shot him to death". Keep in mind that my only communication was via radio and when I advised dispatch to relay info to Detectives about situation (not natural death) you could hear someone in dispatch was laughing. "Homicide by goat" oh dear. anyway my only back up was the assistant coroner. The Detectives were unable to come out. I processed the scene and obtained the body parts of the goat needed as evidence "instrument of injury".......Kinda sick but true...
                  Originally posted by lazer7:
                  you got any.
                  [ 08-05-2001: Message edited by: gracedawn ]


                  • #10
                    I was working a night shift with my partner three summers ago in a resort town here in Alberta. It was a hot summer night.The bars were hopping, lots of people milling about enjoying the nightlife.

                    My partner was speaking with some tourists when behind me, I hear a crash as two bar staff haul this big old guy out of the bar.
                    I watch to see if this fellow is going to be a problem. As soon as the bar staff are back to work and a group of people had gathered infront of the bar,our friend tries to slip back in with the crowd. I strolled up to the bar and asked this guy if he would please come with me. He does and I explain to him what he already knows. He is not welcome in the bar. With a stearn look he says to me "You cops look down on the working man!"
                    Being the great P/R guy that I am I tell him that that is not true. I explain that I have done this and that and a few other things.
                    Buddy pauses for a second and with the stench of liquor on his breath and a glare in his glazed over eye, replies "How come you young kids cant keep a job?!"
                    ************************************************** **************


                    • #11

                      How did the investigation turn out? Was it proven that the goat killed the woman, or did the family do it and try to cover it up? It just sounds of my friends has a farm with goats, sheep, horses and cows, and I've never heard of any of them being violent towards people. I didn't even think that goats had horns...

                      [This message has been edited by PatrickM98 (edited 07-07-2001).]


                      • #12

                        you a city slicker or what ?
                        A goat can and will tear you up if he gets the urge.

                        They can be the meanest ,nastiest, orneriest and stinkinist critters on earth. If one comes after you, you will lose the battle...

                        Be advised !
                        "The American People will never knowingly adopt Socialism. Under the name of "liberalism" they will adopt every segment of the socialist program,until one day America will be a socialist nation without knowing how it happened."

                        Norman Thomas


                        • #13
                          Well patrick Like watchman said goats can be dangerous. I just did my best with the invesitgation. I estimated that the place of rest was indeed were she fell originally (to the best of my abillity) took measurements and photoes. I checked the body for as many injuries I could observe and took into consideration severety of injury and age of victim. vic. feeds the wild domestic cats at the ranch that time of morning. I found an empty dish used for feeding the cats and no cat food around. Also through limited info from hostile familly learned that other familly members feed the goat every morning and that the goat had not been fed yet that morn. Together I devolped a scenerio of the following:

                          vic. small, elderly and ambulatory but occationally utilizes a cane (cane not on scene). Early morning and the goat (full size male with nubs) had not been feed yet. vic goes outside with cat food and goat bucks her several times. This was consitant with knot on vic head. the goats ear tag could be consistant with the laceration on vic. right hand (defen wound) (note vic. had very thin skin). Several breaks; femoral and ribs.......that was consisted with goat bucking vic.....Goats when being hostile will continue to buck and kick until they are inturrupted or just done. Anyhow I will never really know if the familly knocked her off and set up the scene. Due to Officer Saftey reasons I was not able to examine the house or full perimeter of property. The report was forwarded to Detectives and the evidence also. Also I forgot to tell you that I cut off the goats ear with tag for evidence. There was blood (red substance) on the ear tag. I don't know if it was checked to belong to vic.

                          (edited 07-07-2001).][/b][/QUOTE]

                          [This message has been edited by gracedawn (edited 07-07-2001).]

                          [ 08-05-2001: Message edited by: gracedawn ]


                          • #14
                            I was at the Fair once and almost bought a goat home with me. She was the sweetest little thing and kept following me around, wanting me to pet her. Same with a goode.....Guess I speak goosese! But, I could see where a goat could be dangerous. This one wasn't tho....She was SO sweet!


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by gracedawn:
                              probably because they never followed up on it. Sorry to say it but a person could definetly get away with murder here.
                              Oh well. You did your job, and if the detectives didn't care enough about a death to investigate it further, there's not much you can do.


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