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Why does working with others have to be so hard?


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  • Why does working with others have to be so hard?

    When I taught full time, I taught with 3 other women in one huge room that held 100 kids. It was a NIGHTMARE, not because of the kids but the other teachers. The backbiting and stabbings sometimes had me almost in tears. When I was getting ready to retire because of a problem pregnancy, I was appalled the way I was treated. It turned out they wanted a certain teacher to teach with them so they had to have me OUT so she could get my job before her husband took a job. It was cruel the way they did it. They spoke to me only if it was about school. I was not invited to their little luncheons or special functions within the three of them, like going out or even parties they would give. They criticizied my teaching, pointing out all problems, reporting me for the slightest was hell. If I walked into the room, all the talking stopped as they pretended to read. And all they had to do was explain the problem, of this girl wanting to teach with them if I left. They decided to force me out rather then be kind.
    I held off until the other girls H accepted the job because I was so hurt. I should have done so earlier, my health was so bad but I'd be darned if I'd let them treat me that way much less succeed at their evil little plan. I finally quit. They were furious at first then felt so guilty over what they did. They had lost a good friend and a good teacher. As I walked out the door with all my things, they did try to come over to say good-bye and try to hug me but I just looked at them and left. After all these years, it still hurts very badly.
    Now, my son is being put through this. They are trying to edge him out because they have someone else in mind for his job. He has some problems from his medical problems. So, they are now doing to him what was done to me. They won't speak to him except about work. He is excluded from dinners, Christmas functions, etc. He is held to a higher standard then are the others. (His shirt better not be untucked but nothing is said to the others). The others can dress any way they want within certain standards but my son can wear only dress clothes, no jeans, T-Shirts, the others are allowed.
    I hear of stuff like this everywhere. Why can't people just be decent to others?
    The only advice I can give him is to ride it out while he looks for another job and maybe get some counseling.
    Why does it have to be this way? He needs his job just as badly as they do?

  • #2
    This is the society that we live in today. It has come about since people stopped caring for others and just started thinking and caring for themselves. This is a ME ME ME type world now and as long as you are geting what you want it seems perfectly fine but as soon as you nolonger get what you want you start to see the corruption that has taken place on the values that makes a society much stronger.

    This is something that can be changed but it is not going to happen over night. People will have to come to realize that that person down the hall who they do not know and ridicule or try to get them to quit because they have a friend who can do that job sooo much better might be losing a person who can help them more than their friend ever could. But instead of accepting a person who they do not know they would rather get rid of them. It is sad to see this happen but it happens daily in eveery part of this country. I guess the fact that most no longer care for the ones they do not know is a good indication where this world is headed. I just hope that someday most of these cattle wake up and start us back down that path to enlightenment.

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    • #3
      Mitzi, Take heart in the fact that things always happen for a reason. I until, yesterday thought that the people i worked with sucked. I was passed up not once but 7 times for promotion because of politics. (other peoples) I now believe in the philosophy that good things come to those that wait. I was informed by monday i would know if i will be given full time and go back to working strict mornings. Your son will get a better job. Just tell him to hold on and and try not to stress over other peoples problems. His worry is getting thru his surgery and recovering so he can give another job his best. They might just appreciate him more then his current company.

      [ 02-14-2002: Message edited by: ftrphxcop ]
      "To each his own"


      • #4
        BTDT, Mitzi...

        After 6 years of heading up my county's alternative school program, it was down to 'me or them'. And I don't mean the so-called 'problem kids', either. One particular IDIOT I worked under actually had me thinking of ways figure it out.

        "When you guys get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a *****."
        -Commanding General, 1st Marine Division


        • #5

          all part of being human!

          I work with a GREAT bunch of people now. It's the best job I have ever had. Not because of what I do, but because of who I work with.


          • #6

            There are a group of women in my office that I absolutely detest. They're rude and have zero respect for anyone, but I keep my mouth shut and do my job. I put on my headphones to drown them out, and my day is actually bearable. Ignoring the ignorant works well.

            I hate office politics, and refuse to get into the "he said, she said" BS, which almost always leads to backstabbing.

            I know some people think I'm a bitch (and I'm very good at being one), and I know they think I'm unsociable because I only talk to certain people (at break time), but I get paid to work, not socialize. I want to climb the ladder knowing I earned it and worked hard for it. Not going to get there if I spend 1/2 my day BS'ing. Eventually those people will be elimated from payroll. No job is ever secure, but that's one aspect of my work I don't stress about.


            • #7
              My son used to get along with his boss very well. He gets along with everyone else really well also. But, a few weeks ago, this guy turned on him. MY son came in wearing jeans on a certain day, as he thought was to be and this guy reamed him out royally in front of everone else. My son didn't understand and the guy said he was to wear jeans ONLY when he said he could. It had never been that way before.
              He said he will walk into a room and everone else is fine but this guy clams up and won't talk.
              He picks on him CONSTANTLY and my son doesn't understand. They used to be friends and when my son asks him what is wrong he just says, "Nothing". We told him to just do his job and he says he's trying but the rules keep chahging, rules his boss says he told him but he didn't.
              He sure doesn't need this right now.


              • #8
                Whats sad too is how some mangers will coddle and hand hold some of those type of people. Theres a girl in my office who seems to do no wrong. We just moved office buildings and our supervisor sits further away from the rest of the group, and now this one person is literally on the phone all day long on personal calls. She's disruptive with her talking. We work with time sensitive issues and its hard to get work done without blasting your music in your ears to drown her out. She also pays more attention other whats on everyone else's desk as far as what they are doing and will then go bitch to our supervisor how we are either "too slow" or we dont do our jobs. Whats sad then is, our supervisor will "hold her hand" and lecture us at a meeting. Or, this one time, she took a day off, it was planned. Her day back was Christmas Eve, and we were all dismissed at 2pm for the holiday. All of a sudden about 1:45ish or so she starts ranting and raving saying shes going to kill "tim" and starts yelling how noone told her this and that and how she does everything by herself. Turned out "tim" put some checks in lock up (mind you he was inthe right) Then all of a sudden we were all sent an email yelling at us for NOT doing HER job and how these checks have to now sit over the weekend. Like DUH - these checks are a daily duty for each one of us, why did she not question this before? Well, a coupld of us went to the supervisor and reported this information and how she ranted and raved and threatened "tim" life and what happened?? We all get a "pto" scheduale. NOTHING was done. And now, two people (myself included) caught her going into someone's loan (i work at a rather large bank in the morgage default area) researching this account. This would seem like no big deal BUT it wasnt to actually perform what her job was, it was to keep tabs on her landlords loan. She went way out of her way on business hours to research this information. According to business policies we are not allowed to use any information for personal reasons. hrrmmmm this sounds personal to me and to the other person who witnessed this. Well, we called the 800 # given to us to use in cases like this and a few days later it was told to us that her "our" supervisor knew of this activity 3 months ago. So again, her unethical behavior is ignored. So, my question here us, since nothing gets done by management, and she sits so close to me that I have to kill my ear drums by blasting my music to even concentrate on my work, what should I do???

                So Mitzie, those types of people are everywhere. Sad
                Mother is the name for God on the lips and in the hearts of all children.


                • #9
                  Well i was passed up again for the strictly days and full time. My boss explains that there is just to many full timers at a certain store and they were required to bring one over to get the job i was offered. I was pretty much ****ed the whole day.Then she had the NERVE to ask if i would work on my day off. Then when i am leaving for the day a newer assistant makes the mistake of asking me how long i have been with the company. I tell her and then ask her if she was just curious or did she have a reason for wanting to know. She said no i was just thinking you would make a great manager. I calmly told her that i thought so too and apparently our boss does not, or i would not have been denied that very position this morning. This really sucks!

                  Thanks for letting me vent. I thought i would explode and cry in front of the miserable witch again this morning but i did not.
                  "To each his own"


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