for you Marines here

[Bonk]

The Korean War, in which the Marine Corps fought and won some of its most brutal battles, was not without its gallows humor. During one such conflict, a ROK (Republic of Korea) commander, whose unit was fighting with the Marines, called Chesty Puller, the legendary Marine warrior, to report a
major Chinese attack in his sector.

"How many Chinese are attacking you?" asked Puller.

"Many, many, many Chinese!" replied the excited Korean officer.

"G*ddammit!" swore Puller, "Put my Marine liaison officer on the radio."

In a minute, an American voice came over the air: "Yes sir?"

"Lieutenant," growled Chesty, "exactly how many Chinese you got up there?"

"Colonel, I'm not kidding, there must be thousands and thousands of them, I have never seen so many, they are crawling around like a kicked up anthill!"

"Dammit Lieuteneant, get a hold of yourself for Christ's sake...put the Gunny on the phone..."

After a few more seconds...

"Yessir Colonel this is Gunnery Sergeant Moore.."

"Gunny, now tell me what the hell is going on up there, ...just how many Chinese are there?"

"Well Colonel, there is one whole s**pot full..." said the Gunny.

"Well, thank God," exclaimed Puller, "finally Ive got someone up there that knows how to count!"

[Niteshift]

You need pictures for the marines to understand the joke.

[SGT Dave]

USMC Oath of Enlistment:

I, ________________ (state name here), swear...uhhhh...high-and-tight....<grunt>...cammies...ugh...Air Force women....OORAH! Kill.....uuuuurrrghh- BAYONET!

So help me Corps.

Thumb Print:_________________________

Date:________________

[FLLawdog]

Latin to English Dictionary...

Semper Fi-Duhhhh...OK, boss

Seriously, I almost wish some of buddies hadn't talked me out of joining the Marines when I joined the Army.

[grum]

I just finished reading a book called "The Making of the Corps" in which the following story appears,

During the Rodney King riots in LA, marine units were called out to assist the local police. While the officers were preparing to enter a building, they told the marines to cover them. The marines opened up with their M-60 and pumped about 30 rounds into the building, before the officers realized that "cover me" has a completely different meaning for marines.

[ 10-03-2001: Message edited by: grum ]

[Bob A]

Sounds like somebody's been reading the old Sea Stories.

Originally posted by FLLawdog:
Latin to English Dictionary...


Seriously, I almost wish some of buddies hadn't talked me out of joining the Marines when I joined the Army.

I wish from time to time I'd gone in the Army. I am proud of having been a jarhead, but there are a lot more opportunities in the Army. Geez, I can't believe I just typed that in public. [gulp!]

Anybody know why God created the Marine Corps?

So sailors wouldn't have ugly babies!

[koenig]

Originally posted by Bob A:
Anybody know why God created the Marine Corps?

God created Marines to keep a fresh supply of souls in heaven!!!

Think I watched Full Metal Jacket, one time two many!!!!

Koenig

[Steve in PA]

grum.....LOLOLOL, man if they only knew!!!!

[dkiefner]

Then there was the new computer that could be adapted to interact with its user; one need only enter their IQ at the beginning of a session.

When the time came for trial runs, they entered 150, and the computer began discussing Einstein's Theory. Then they entered 100, and the computer began discussing current events. Finally, they entered 50, and the computer sang "From the Halls of Montezuuuuma...."

[LeeRoy]

I sleep well knowing the true management of the Marine Corps still rests with the United States Navy. Afterall who else would trust self management to a military unit that was founded in a bar?

[Steve in PA]

Sorry, my Marine Corps was founded to keep others from taking the ships away from the navy. Seems they had a problem defending their own ships. We may be a branch of the navy, however they only provide us wit icecream and boat rides to far away countries.

[LeeRoy]

Originally posted by Steve in PA:
... however they only provide us wit icecream and boat rides to far away countries.

You left out that the Navy maintains a certain weapons inventory which jarheads are assigned to guard. Do those marines glow when their tours are over? Brings new meaning to the phrase "Glowing with pride."

[RoadWarrior]

A friend who was a Marine once made this comment on Navy Seals, "Best damn photagraphers in the world, they get us pictures of it, and we (Marines) go in there and take it over, or blow it up."

I had another buddy that was in the Navy, and the two of them were constantly at each other's throats. What's up with the rivalry between Navy and Marines?

[Bonk]

A Marine is a man who lives like a soldier, talks like a sailor, and slaps the s*** out of both of them.

What was Jack Nicholson's line from "A Few Good Men"?
"Oh, I like you navy boys. When we need to go somewhere youre nice enough to give us a ride."

[Sarge465]

Army guy, Air Force guy and a Marine are wlking together and a helicopter flys over. Army guy looks up and sez, there goes a chopper. Air Force guy looks up and sez, there goes a whirleybird. Marine looks up, points and sez, uhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh.