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You might be a cop if........


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  • You might be a cop if........

    Found this on, thought it was pretty good.

    You have the bladder capacity of five people

    You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience

    You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm

    Your idea of a good time is a robbery at shift change

    You call for a records check on anyone that is friendly toward you

    You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal

    You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person

    You correlate "two beers" with 0.15 BAC

    You find humor in other people's stupidity

    You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac

    You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see

    You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance

    You believe that a "shallow gene pool" should be grounds for an arrest

    You believe that the Government should require a permit to reproduce

    You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is

    quiet around here"

    You refer to your nightstick as your "Dork Slayer"

    You believe that chocolate is a food group

    You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a *****

    You have wanted to hold a seminar on "Suicide, getting it right the first time"

    You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid jury verdict

    You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably

    You have wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to a particular bar

    You believe the dispatcher is possessed

    You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form

    You're not referring to food when you mention vegetables

    You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium saltlick

    You have heard: "I have no idea how that got there," on more than a few occasions

    You suddenly realize one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone

    You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in

    your patrol car

    You believe that it is a "good" death only if it involves overtime

    you have to check to make sure your weapon is "ready to rock n' roll" before using a public restroom

    you read your wife the Miranda warning whenever she says "we need to talk"

    you can tell the severity of an accident just by hearing the sirens

    you have co-workers that pay more in child support and alimony every month than you make in a year
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