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  • Blonde Heat
    replied
    You know Dukeboy1, You should post that exact letter in college newspapers. Many moms and dads will appreciate this. And it might open the eyes of at least one individual.

    Leave a comment:


  • ateamer
    replied
    Yeah right, she's never done this before. She sure seems to know an awful lot about the variations possible. Either a scam or she jilted the wrong prom date. Of course, if she does turn out to be a wizened, coke-addicted skank, the mope who bought her deserves to be taken.

    Leave a comment:


  • Dukeboy01
    replied
    I told my beat partner about this thread last night and we came up with a few instructions for any other young women planning to try this get not quite rich but possibly dead scheme. If followed, these instructions will ensure that the young lady will be remembered as extremely polite, if nothing else.

    1. Before leaving your home town to meet the mysterious stranger to whom you are selling your virginity, obtain copies of your dental and medical records.

    2. Go to a tattoo parlor and have the following design tattooed around your neck, both arms just below the shoulder, and both legs about mid thigh:

    ------CUT HERE-----CUT HERE-----CUT HERE-----

    (You can substitute hearts or flowers for the dashes in the above design. Just be sure they're in a straight line.)

    3. Get a digital camera and take three pictures. The first should be a direct shot of your face. Print two copies of this picture off and put them aside. Next take a full frontal shot of yourself nude, followed by a full rear shot of yourself nude. Using Photoshop or some other computer program, crop your head, arms, and legs out of the nude photos. Your new tattoos should assist you now as they will your killer later. Print those altered photos off, one copy of each pose.

    4. Take one of the photos of your face to your local Dairy processing plant so that they can get a jump on the milk cartons asking if anyone has seen you.

    5. Go to the strange town where you will meet your mystery date. Once there, buy stamps, a manila envelope, large knife, and some Ziploc bags. Get the name brand Ziploc, so you can be sure they will seal.

    6. Proceed to the police department. Ask to speak to a homicide detective regarding a murder soon to be committed. Explain to the nice detective that you will soon become a homicide statistic in his jurisdiction. Give him the remaining photos, explaining that the two nude shots represent what your naked torso will possibly look like when it is found in a drainage ditch. Give him the copies of your dental and medical records, then pluck out several strands of your hair. Place them in a Ziploc bag and give them to him, so that he can do a DNA match of your hair to your remains. Ask him to assign you a case number, get his card, and leave.

    7. Find another tattoo parlor. Have the case number the detective gave you tattooed on your ***.

    8. Go to someplace private, presumably the motel room your mystery date has reserved for you. Using the knife, cut off one of your ears. Place it in a Ziploc bag with some ice. Place the Ziploc bag into the manila envelope, along with a note to the nice detective explaing that the ear in the bag will match the ear that you killer will be keeping in his pocket as a trophy when he is arrested. Address the envelope to the detective and drop it in the mail. (You could cut off your ear in person when you visit the detective in step six to save postage, but if you bleed on his desk, he's likely to get ****ed. The whole point of these instructions is to encourage politeness and good manners.)

    9. Clean yourself up as best you can and go meet your fate. Your killer will appreciate your taking these steps, as will the poor detective assigned to your homicide.

    Leave a comment:


  • MPD3P59
    replied
    The funny part is that there are people out there that would actually send hard-earned money in and get screwed. No sex but definately screwed!

    Leave a comment:


  • Dukeboy01
    replied
    Let's see...

    Attractive young virgin...

    Willing to travel anywhere in the United States...

    Willing to meet anybody and prepared to go to a secluded, private place, away from prying eyes...

    No wonder America has the highest number of serial killers in the world. It's just so easy.

    Has to be a joke. Nobody's that dumb. Sounds like the kind of prank a computer savvy prom date who didn't get past second base after she promised that tonight was the night they'd finally do it would pull. Post her picture on the internet and watch the fun.

    Leave a comment:


  • Godside
    replied
    Those who know me probably wouldn't think of me to post on this thread (Considering I'm an 'Angel' and all).. But I have to wonder...

    Shipping conditions: Buyers pays shipping expenses , Will NOT ship internationally.

    Does she come UPS or Fed Ex??

    Leave a comment:


  • ice_fog
    replied
    Auction ended: May. 27 2001, 05:23
    I wonder how much she went for?

    Leave a comment:


  • Evnings
    replied
    I would have to agree, money to meet for sex sounds a lot like prostitution to me. Even it is with a person who claims to be a virgin.

    Leave a comment:


  • jpa
    replied
    Wow, pretty girl but I wouldn't go for the whole one-night stand thing even if I did know her and didn't have to pay for it. Almost seems like prostitution to me, actually. I doubt the story, if she would actually follow through and if it's really her "first time". OTOH, I know what SGT dave is spending his tax refund on.

    Leave a comment:


  • Blonde Heat
    replied
    Beauty with no brains. Or at least half of the normal amount of brains.

    Leave a comment:


  • Malnurtured Snay
    started a topic Oh so funny.

    Oh so funny.

    Here.

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