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  • #16
    MYTHS:

    1.) All cops have shot someone at some point in their careeer.

    2.) There is always an odor of bacon or other pork products when I am around. People seem to comment on that frequently. They are always saying, "I smell bacon." I just don't get it. =-)

    3.) Just because I am a police officer does not mean that I know all the other cops in the county, or state.

    [ 05-19-2003, 04:52 PM: Message edited by: Badgerland ]
    "I assume you all have guns and crack."

    Comment


    • #17
      That we like playing with our handcuffs in our personal lives. Ok, well....maybe thats not a myth [Wink]
      Steve

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      • #18
        "He did it!", "I didn't do it", Uh-oh...they're coming to get you" are NOT original jokes.

        Donuts. It's OK for a dozen nurses, 8 housewives, four lawyers and a construction crew to sit inside a Dunkin' Donuts, but let just one f'ing cop do it!

        "You know him. He's always getting arrested". I am not the Borg. I do not live in a Collective and I do NOT share the experiences of my bretheren as if I was participating in them.

        You decide to seperate yourself from humanity by living on a desolate dirt road that isn't recognized on a map and isn't marked. Then you don't bother to put your address number in a prominate place. BUT you expect me to home into your location within minutes.

        We can establish credibility by answering the question "do I look like a criminal?".

        We can simply kick in a door, force a confession and recover property based on "they had to have done it. I've had nothing but problems them since I moved in."

        We have nothing better to do.

        My computer can do everything.

        We're AAA.

        We can work whenever we want to, work whatever case we want to, and do it however we want to.

        Being an Investigator is a promotion.

        The District Commander can, and has time to, solve your problems better than a road Deputy.

        Because you're the one with the busted nose, we're gonna treat you like the victim.

        quote:
        2. Instantly solve problems that took years to develop.
        Amen, Siggy!

        quote:
        Well, I always heard that male cops have HUGE penises. Is that true?
        Hung like a hamster.

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        • #19
          Cops give good legal advice.
          Bill R

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          • #20
            Mounties work in red serge and ride horses. Oh, yeah - we always get our man. (Last one may be true for the female members)

            Comment


            • #21
              1. Everything on the show COPS is correct police procedure.

              2. You have to answer "yes" anytime someone asks you if youre a cop.

              3. Speed traps are entrapment.

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              • #22
                quote:
                Mounties work in red serge and ride horses.
                They don't!??!!??!?! [Wink]

                quote:
                "He did it!", "I didn't do it", Uh-oh...they're coming to get you" are NOT original jokes.

                They sure AREN'T!

                "Don't you know who I am"!!!
                No we don't and don't care.

                TGY
                Disclaimer: The writer does not represent any organization, employer, entity or other individual. The views expressed are those only of the writer. In the case of a sarcastic, facetious, nonsensical, stirring-the-pot, controversial or devil's advocate-type post, the views expressed may not even reflect those of the writer [This sig stolen from Brickcop who stole it from Frank Booth].

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                • #23
                  quote:
                  Originally posted by kirch:
                  All cops are gun experts.

                  Asking me about the difference in ballistic performance between a .40 S&W and a 9mm would be liking asking my UPS driver to replace the valve-cover gasket in his brown truck.

                  Just because I carry a gun and know which direction to point it when I pull the trigger doesn't turn me into a gunsmith.

                  I am glad that I am not the only one. I don't know how many times some people have tried to talk to me about guns. I really don't care, other than how mine operates.
                  Drug Recognition Expert

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                  • #24
                    That we will believe you just because you're the one who called 911, not your wife with the black eye.
                    Government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. - Ronald Reagan

                    I don't think It'll happen in the US because we don't trust our government. We are a country of skeptics, raised by skeptics, founded by skeptics. - Amaroq

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                    • #25
                      That we know ALL state laws, and can repeat them by rote.

                      BTW I never, NEVER give the green light for the following question....

                      "Hey officer..... say it's the middle of the night, and some guy breaks into my house. Can I..?

                      Me.... "NO!!!" No you can not.

                      I'd never give the green light to blast somebody. I just can't imagine myself in court, trying to justify this....

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                      • #26
                        quote:
                        Originally posted by shooter1201:
                        Let's hear 'em:

                        Myth #1

                        All cops like donuts. YUCK!

                        Well then, maybe you'd care to explain why all donut holes start out at .45 caliber?

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          quote:
                          Originally posted by FLLawdog:
                          "You know him. He's always getting arrested". I am not the Borg. I do not live in a Collective and I do NOT share the experiences of my bretheren as if I was participating in them.

                          **Or, you know my dad/uncle/grandad was a sheriff back in aught30 - do you know him??

                          quote:
                          Originally posted by FLLawdog:
                          You decide to seperate yourself from humanity by living on a desolate dirt road that isn't recognized on a map and isn't marked. Then you don't bother to put your address number in a prominate place. BUT you expect me to home into your location within minutes.

                          This is true around here also. And, of course, about the time you get half-way between your vehicle and the house down in the 'holler (where no vehicle except a dirt bike or four-wheeler can get), a big pack of dogs comes up to greet you.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            quote:
                            All cops are gun experts.




                            Speak for yourselves, guys...... [Wink]
                            "When you guys get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a *****."
                            -Commanding General, 1st Marine Division

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              quote:
                              That we know ALL state laws, and can repeat them by rote.
                              And don't forget federal laws and every ordinances ever written in my municipality as well as those from halfway across the state.

                              Real questions I have been asked:

                              "I keep getting junk mail even though I keep telling the companies to stop. What can I do about it?"

                              "What's the fine for marijuana possession in <county>?"

                              "Why are switchblades illegal?"
                              Caution and worry never accomplished anything.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                quote:
                                Originally posted by FLLawdog:
                                "He did it!", "I didn't do it", Uh-oh...they're coming to get you" are NOT original jokes.

                                Or when you walk into a business, and 2 or 3 guys put their hands in the air and say, "I didn't do it." It wasn't funny the 1st time someone did that, and it wasn't funny the 673rd time someone did that as well.
                                "I assume you all have guns and crack."

                                Comment

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