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Man assaults cop with.....wet willies


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  • Man assaults cop with.....wet willies

    This is gold

    Armed with two freshly licked fingers, a former Kiester man home on leave from the Air Force thought it would be funny to give the officer the Willies. Riley Louis Swearingen, 24, of Goldsboro, N.C., was getting on the "drunk bus" after the downtown bars closed early Saturday morning when he allegedly licked a finger on each hand and stuck them into the ears of a police sergeant.

    The officer was not amused and Swearingen was immediately arrested, said Cmdr. Jeremy Clifton of the Mankato Department of Public Safety. The sergeant was on the bus talking to the driver when Swearingen boarded at about 2:20 a.m. After feeling two fingers "wet with saliva being pushed into his right and left ear canals, which caused pressure and discomfort," the officer turned around to see Swearingen walking away.

    Swearingen then sat down with a group of friends and said, "I just gave the cop a wet Willy" the officer reported.

    Swearingen was still in jail Monday afternoon awaiting a court appearance after prosecutors charged him with a felony for assaulting a police officer with bodily fluids. That is the worst charge that was requested by the officer, who didn't go through any testing to see if he might have been infected by the saliva that was left in his ears as a result of the double wet Willy. Lesser charges of fifth-degree assault and disruptive intoxication were also filed by the Blue Earth County attorney's office.

    When Swearingen apologized and asked why he was being taken to jail, the officer asked him what would happen if he gave a wet Willy to a higher ranking person in the Air Force. At that point Swearingen allegedly said it would be a big deal and that he wouldn't do that while on duty in the military.

    Alcohol was a factor, Clifton said. The criminal complaint filed Monday said Swearingen's BAC was .18, more than twice the legal limit of .08 for driving.

    When Swearingen appeared before District Court Judge Kurt Johnson at about 4 p.m. Monday, he explained what happened. He said he had flown to Minnesota from North Carolina because he was supposed to be in a friend's wedding Saturday night. Swearingen said he and friends had gone out Friday night and were heading home when one of his friends stuck a wet finger in his ear.

    "I thought it would be incredibly funny to give a police officer a wet Willy, to which I was sorely mistaken," Swearingen explained. "I'm incredibly sorry for what I did. I never thought I would be going to jail for the weekend."

    Johnson offered to dismiss the assault charges if Swearingen would agree to plead guilty to the misdemeanor charge of disruptive intoxication. That would allow the airman to get out of jail and return to his duties in North Carolina as an air traffic controller at Seymour Johnson Air Force Base in Goldsboro.

    Swearingen quickly agreed to the deal. He was sentenced to the three days he spent in jail and was told to pay $77 in court costs.

  • #2
    Dumb ***....


    • #3
      Major point of consideration, "alcohol was a factor".

      oh boy.
      Originally posted by JasperST
      "The fail is strong with this one."

      Originally posted by mdrep
      It's not sporting old chap. Like shooting fish in a barrel. You may only take a shot at a poser or troll if they are running and you are properly licensed.

      What do you think we are, a bunch of barbarians?


      • #4
        And it always worked out so well in the Air Force.


        • #5
          Five dollars says this sergeant squirted an entire bottle of hand-sanitizer into his ears.

          There once was a man who said: "Though,
          it seems that I know that I know,
          what I'd like to see is the I that knows me,
          when I know that I know that I know."

          - Alan Watts


          • #6
            man...and this right after lunch!



            • #7
              This is what happens when you drive an unmarked car...oops wrong thread

              I would have issued a misdemeanor battery citation and attached it to his chart at ICU. (JK)


              • #8
                Assault with bodily fluids. Felony.


                • #9
                  While the idea of a "drunk bus" is noble. A quick internet search has found a fair amount of real issues with this bus. I wonder if the bus has reduced drunk driving in the college town?
                  Last edited by RGDS; 10-22-2014, 05:42 PM. Reason: Clarity
                  semper destravit


                  • #10
                    Bs dropping the charges. More than likely if he did that to a cop, he's a turd in the AF as well.


                    • #11
                      Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.....

                      I know folks who know how to "take care of" people like that.
                      It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.


                      • #12
                        Odd how people tend to fall down alot after doing stupid things like this from time to time.Bad balance due to the lack of sun light i believe its called


                        • #13
                          Hopefully someone made a call to the air force. ..


                          • #14
                            Please tell me that his CO has been notified of this incident.
                            That's what they do, it's a trailer park.


                            • #15


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