What are your bad habits?

[jellybean40]

LMAO...god i needed that laugh! thanks. farts always seem to get the party going and the laughs flowing. why is a fart so funny?? no matter the circumstance, you can't help cracking up.

my ex-husband pulled the "blanket over the head trick" constantly... while chanting "tomb it in, tomb it in." and i loved him??

as far as lighting them, seen that two, with his friends, visiting us at the shore one summer. the poor "lite-ee" laid on his back on the floor, throwing his legs back over his head, feet against the wall. god what a sight. he had white pants on and they ended up with ash marks. i'll never forget it...

oh...about bad habits...i'm a procrastinator, especially with housework. when i'm gonna have company i wait til the last possible moment to do anything.

i'm also very close to late for work most every day. i'm a nite person... not good when i have to be in work at 5 am every morning. i shower and do everything the nite before, and get up about 10 minutes before i need to leave in the morning...not smart.

[kateykakes]

LMAOOOOO jellybean!

[Blonde Heat]

I can relate to the whole farting thing. My father in law and my husband do it constantly. And they think its hilarious. I went to the sports authority with my husband one time (only one time) to buy some paint balls. He decided to fart really loud on the aisle then walk off. Well as we are coming off the aisle this stock boy is standing there and my husband yells out damn, ftrphxcop (name also protected) did you have to do that. I was beet red and so embarrased. The stock boy just gave me a dirty look and went back to stocking. Or the times when he tells everyone "The whole situation gives me gas" and lets her rip . I could just beat him.

This thread reminds me of a comedian (George Carlin) who says if you want your wife to keep a secret whisper it up her butt. Because it will never escape then. If you want the world to know whisper it in her ear.

[ 09-28-2001: Message edited by: ftrphxcop ]

[Mitzi]

My son was once in an baseball tournament when he was around 11. Well, the baseball team all rode in one van and I couldn't even imagine what it must have been like in there. When we got back, I noticed some of the mothers walking over to the van so I got out to get my son OMG! They opened the back door to that van and we mothers went running.....They had been having fart contests! It was so gross.
On the way home, our son thought it would ne fun to *continue* the game in the car. I got SO mad at him as I rolled the windows down in the car. He said not one more word on the way home. He knew better.
My husband and son are both quite proud of that bodily function. They also like their burps too! lol

[Bravo8]

Ok.....on the firey farts issue.......

I was about 14 or 15 years old, hanging out at a buddies house for the night. He's wearing sweatpants, and they're kinda old...so they have these "fuzzies" all over them (see where this is going?). Well, being the mature, well-mannered young men we were, we decided it would be amusing to light our farts. So he took one of his mother's lighters, bent over, and let one rip as he lit the lighter. POOF!! A big fireball erupted from his nether regions, igniting the aforementioned "fuzzies". He bolted out of his bedroom and out the front door with his *** on fire. He sat down in a snow bank to extinguish the blaze. I laughed so damn hard I almost passed out from lack of oxygen.

From that day forward, lighting farts is a taboo subject among my most intimate friends.

[kateykakes]

Bravo,

LMAOOOO! What a story to wake up to. It's definitely proving my theory that men have no sense at all!

[ALadyToYou]

OK guys, my next question is this. How come you keep doing that 'lighting ritual' when it always seems to end up in a disaster? Mostly with someones a** on fire!

[Summer Rain]

LMAO!! Kateykates, I second that! As for me, my most annoying habit is procrastination.

[Mitzi]

Why doesn't Bravo's story not surprise me in the least? lol The worst thing is they are PROUD of this bodily function! yuck! lol
We used to have a lady that lived in our neighborhood that thought she was much better then anyone else. She dressed like a movie star and had these uppity ideas. Anyway, she came to card club one night. She sweeps in in the lounging pajamas while the rest of us are sitting there in our flannel getups (It was pajama night).
She immediately took out a rag and cleaned the seat of the chair. She said down and as I was dealing cards.....she let it RIP! LOL! She had the most horrified look on her face. We all sat there in stunned silence then I started laughing and could not stop. I TRIED to stop laughing, I really did. But, then the others were laughing as hard as I was.
She turned so red in the face and grabbed her coat but I beat her to the door telling her it was a normal body functiona nd not to be embarassed. Well, when the other ladies heard me say that, they went into gales of laughter again. She just opened the door and literally ran home.
I tried to call her the next day but she would never again speak to any of us! LOL!

[PartTimer]

I too procrastinate, here is an example. It actually took me a day or two to post this message.

[Summer Rain]

Oh my gosh Part timer.. me too.. I saw the post and so "oh I have something to post there" took me two days to finally take the two seconds to post it... that's bad, that's reaaaalll bad

[TheSpoon]

I eat too much, I talk to much and I'm not as attentive to my family as they deserve.

As for other topic, I have done the under the blanket thing, and I also had a partner who would cross town (or state lines for that matter) to "save a ripe one for me."
God forbid if I ever did it back, though, because he wouldn't talk to me for days at a time because I used to make him vomit--sometimes in front of other people....

[DMS 525]

SGT Dave, I see you like to get your wife to play "turtle." You know; go under the covers, let a nasty one rip, and the first one to stick their head out is a turtle!

Bad habits? I belch, I fart, I leave my shorts on the bathroom floor, I wear my dirty boots in the house(to hear my wife talk, you'd think I do it just to pi*s her off!), I crack my knuckles, and always seem to have my elbows on the table!

[Mitzi]

My husband better NEVER play turtle woith me. I'd knock his lights out. But my best friends husband did something so mean. He felt a large roach crawling on his leg so he laid that leg beside his wife's leg and the roach crossed over to her leg. She was dead asleep and came flying out of that bed. He thought that was real funny but she didn't. Anyway, they just divorced after 27 years so I guess he really WAS a jerk! lol

[wonderwoman]

Originally posted by Mike Sullivan:
BTW, where is ole WW anyway? Haven't heard from here?

The only thing I wish to add to this farting thread is that Mike.... the word "ole" up above better not have meant "old"!!