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I have a short fuse.

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  • #16
    You just need to understand your place in the world is not what you think it is. Short fuse is a short fuse, no sugarcoating it. You have some issues that need to be addressed. You are probably NOT a person who should be involved in stressful public contact jobs. Your perception of being "loved" by coworkers is not what your Manager sees, and he/she is correct, not you. There is NOTHING in waiting tables that requires you to be "short". NOTHING. You are there to serve. If you have an issue with a customer, that is what the manager is for, not for you to handle it. If you worked for me and treated my customers in any way that lost me money, I'd fire you in a heartbeat. You were not hired to "handle" situations, you were hired to wait on people.

    As was stated by others, this is a charecter trait and not related to your LE job. Go get some counseling before you blow it.
    Free Deke O'Mally!!!

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    • #17
      I agree once a cop always a cop. Type A personality. Some view it as "short fuse"...we would view it as "cut to the chase and don't bother with the BS". I for one ...couldn't make it in any type of customer service position...I'm just not warm and fuzzy. As for your co-workers...sounds like you're not into the "drama". That's okay...no where does it say in your job description that you have to partake.

      Personally I wouldn't change your "so called" behavior to appease them. You can have a talk with your manager and just explain your beliefs. Their description of "short fuse" is just their interpretation and most importantly their opinion.

      Remember your evals reflect YOUR work ethics. People don't have to like you personally but they can not say you don't do your job.

      Also you're asking the opinion of us.."type A" personality people. Sorry if I didn't help your situation.
      This profession is not for people looking for positive reinforcement from the public. Very often it can be a thankless job and you can't desire accolades, because those are not usually forthcoming. Just do your job to the best of your ability and live with the decisions you've made.

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      • #18
        EDIT: I was typing my response when deputy x 2 wrote hers------------had no idea what she was writing!!!!!

        I had a short fuse prior to getting into law enforcement.

        Supervising a weight yard alone with 50 or so convicted felons........who are much older and BIGGER than you-----makes you learn very quickly how to deal with and talk to people.

        I carried that experience on to when I worked the streets & later when I came back to Corrections.



        Originally posted by codemanski View Post
        Mr. Green...
        I TOTALLY understand what you are saying regarding a "short fuse". After I retired from LE after 35+ years, I found myself not wanting to deal with the idiots either! What I DID find is that using my past profession was an excuse for not modifying my behavior. You say the customers "love you", but you have a hard time dealing with your peers...could it be you are trying to establish some kind of dominance in the waiter-waitress pecking order? You want to be respected, but at what cost? I suggest you take a look at how you relate to your peers, kick back and try to understand what it's like from their point of view. Food service is a cut-throat business and everyone is scrambling! If you truly want to change, you will! If you can't, then accept the fact you are what you are, and a "short fuse" is part of the package. All I can tell you is that in the grand scheme of things, it just ain't worth it! Good luck and stay loose...
        Ski
        Remember that the vast majority of police officers are Type A personalities. Then you take that Type A person, put them in an academy setting where you teach them to take charge, be MORE assertive, and the need to control your surroundings..........................YEA that makes for a good customer service employee and REALLY makes for a good low level co-worker !

        I note that you said you don't have problems with the customers , but instead are having problems with your co-workers. Read the above paragraph and see if maybe that might be applicable.

        I quoted Codmanski's post because I too found when I retired and went to the private sector, I had some problems. The job I took had some idiots that I just wasn't willing to deal with, it had some other issues that I wasn't willing to deal with & I lasted 2 weeks before I had a hissy fit and told them where to put their job.

        I might add I was totally professional up until the exact moment I ripped my ID off my shirt and threw it on the managers desk -----and told him he couldn't pay me enough to put up with the idiot supervisor.

        Also , as an aside, you know that cops are want to bust other cop's chops with sarcastic , jack wagon comments-------and much of that is a compensation mechanism. It is one of the things you are going to experience on this forum.........................fact of life & I know of some other forums that make this one look and feel like a day care camp

        The above statement also sometimes comes out when you leave the profession and doesn't ingrain you with those you work with.


        Originally posted by District B 13 View Post
        Your perception of being "loved" by coworkers is not what your Manager sees, and he/she is correct, not you. .
        He didn't say he was loved by his co-workers. He said he was "loved" by his customers. His problem according to his supervisor and his own admissions are with his co-workers!
        Last edited by Iowa #1603; 04-06-2011, 09:33 AM.
        Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

        My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

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        • #19
          I agree once a cop always a cop. Type A personality. Some view it as "short fuse"...we would view it as "cut to the chase and don't bother with the BS". I for one ...couldn't make it in any type of customer service position...I'm just not warm and fuzzy.
          +1 I feel is the main reason or cause. Not a cop but I have the same issue and complaints with the way I'm wired.

          I ended up finding a new company with people more of my personality. It helps. Well first thing I did was put my head down and to this day I still keep my thoughts to myself (not many people think like us) That little action alone has helped my sanity. secondly I can BS with everyone without saying anything, I keep everything to the vest if that makes any sense. I just keep my distance without anyone suspecting I am keeping my distance. Good Luck my friend..
          MDRDEP:

          There are no stupid questions, but there sure are a lot of inquisitive idiots.

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          • #20
            Your problem is you have your BS alarm on. It goes off an you react. Some people think they can shovel the bs cause they are there and have done it for so long. here you come to rain on their parade.

            I deal with a few people like that. I can't stand them either.

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            • #21
              The first step to any change is deciding you want to change, and deciding what it is you want to change.

              The second step is developing awareness of when you are making choices that you could make differently. That's more difficult than it sounds. The best way I know is to think of what is a typical example of the sort of interaction you want to change, think over the other ways you could have dealt with it, choose and mentally rehearse your response of choice.

              Then, pay attention. When the situation arises again, you may have your mentally-rehearsed choice at least on the table. Keep at it, and in time you will find you have a choice.
              We do not all come to religion over the wandering years,
              but sooner or later we all get to meet God. -- Edward Conlon

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              • #22
                If your job requires that you work with other employees in other departments, management, subordinates, and peers of various levels, then having tact and waiting to react to apparent inanity until you're alone is a critical survival skill. Management won't tollerate it. Peers don't deserve it. Subordinates are protected by laws and policies.

                Choking back your reactions is vital to your career. It takes effort until you create the new pattern. If you're unwilling or unable, you're not long for the corporate ladder.

                I have personally had someone 6" from my face yelling at me about an issue that was agency policy but for which I am the face of the implimentation with which he disagreed. I couldn't get him to stop long enough to hold a discussion so I turned around and started to walk away. He yelled after not to walk away from him, so I turned on my heel, looked him dead in the eye, and (quietly) told him that I didn't have to take "this sh*t" from anyone (the rare time i've ever cussed on the job and everyone looked up). I then left with him yelling after me. 30 minutes later he was in my office apolizing. Whether it was because his boss was just around the corner when it happened and "counseled" him or not didn't matter. There's a point at which the line is crossed (by or against you). This was an extreme example and hasn't happened too many times in 35 years but my yelling back wouldn't have fixed things and punching him would have put the burden on me.

                If you're in control that means they aren't.

                On the other end, I have been on the receiving end of a 3 page letter of clarification from me to a Division Administor when their local IT person took a quick reminder e-mail as a public insult to her in front of her peers (it went to all IT in the Region about a deadline that was coming up). What I saw as quick and concise was misinterpretted by her as curt and insulting. Half a day of word smithing later, the 3 page letter that included the background, current status, and intent of the original message was channelled from me, through the Regional Administrator (my boss), down to the Division Admin, on to his Financial Manager (her boss) and then shared with her. It was a hell of a lot of extra work that none of us had the extra time to mess around with and was all triggered by a 3 sentence e-mail that may have been misunderstood as a result of where she was in meeting the deadline (which others may or may not have been aware of). IOW: SHE knew and assumed others did even when they probably didn't (I did not).

                It taught me the hard way that an extra "please" can go a long way even when there's no clear requirement for it.

                Remember your evals reflect YOUR work ethics.
                many modern eval points include collaboration and ability to work as a team and interact with people inside and outside your own group. lacking patience and tact can often result in a gig.
                Last edited by Bounce; 04-06-2011, 11:07 AM.

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                • #23
                  Iowa what are you talking about? Did I interrupt your train of thought?


                  There is a joke amongst us in LE on what job we would want to have.

                  FOr some reason...the greeter at Walmart always comes up. Here take your f'n shopping cart. And if you start flappin your gums at me...I'm liable to run the damn thing into the back of your shoe and give you a flat! Have a nice day....and welcome to Walmart!
                  This profession is not for people looking for positive reinforcement from the public. Very often it can be a thankless job and you can't desire accolades, because those are not usually forthcoming. Just do your job to the best of your ability and live with the decisions you've made.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    "Welcome to Walmart........Here's your cart, get your f'n crap and leave."

                    (My wife works at Wally World & won't let me apply there)
                    Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

                    My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      I can react pretty quickly to things that bother me... but my going through cancer treatments helped reshape my attitude. Nothing like facing your own mortality to broaden perspectives. Best advice I can give you is take a slow breath when someone is giving you crap and think out a....kinder response. You're not in LE anymore, no need to be quick and dominate in these encounters. I am trying to get into LE, we'll see how that goes in about six weeks. Good luck to ya.

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                      • #26
                        What you are a waiter? Heck that would set me off real fast, I have never done that and I know I am the wrong person for the job. I like people but I don't like jerks and stupid people, I don't think I would last a week in that job. Maybe this is not the best career for you, have you thought about another one where you work with people? What about a hardware store, a small one not HomeDept, the small ones you will work around better people. Do you really like your job? Not a question for us but just for you to ask yourself.

                        Just a thought and wishing you the best, I know what it feels like. I tend to get that way too.
                        It's not that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so much that isn't so. Ronald Reagan


                        TSA, I would rather be felt up than blown up.

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                        • #27
                          Waiter or customer service or flight attendant..........would seriously nut my arse up in a minute!

                          I admit I wouldn't have the patience..and would prolly revert to back to my habeas snatches behavior!
                          Last edited by deputy x 2; 04-06-2011, 11:56 AM.
                          This profession is not for people looking for positive reinforcement from the public. Very often it can be a thankless job and you can't desire accolades, because those are not usually forthcoming. Just do your job to the best of your ability and live with the decisions you've made.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            I am not and have not been in law enforcement. My way of thinking is this. I will give you three tries. After the first, I will explain. The second, I will bargain. The third, I will warn. After that, if the person still wants to treat me like I am an a**hole then I will show them just how much of an a**hole I can be.




                            World_So_Cold

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Mr. Green View Post
                              ^^^^^^^THIS is pretty much what I am referring to. I have no issues with customers. Customers love me. My boss even told me during our talk he thinks I do a great job, I work hard make an effort, and to keep it up. It's just that when I have called a few coworkers out on their BS they apparently went crying to the manager. I am very blunt, I don't sugarcoat things and when people act like an idiot and think they can pull their BS with me I tell them using very kind words but in a very understandable tone of voice to go F themselves. I'm not there to make friends. I have friends. If people at work want to be my friend then great I will be their friend, but if they don't and want to pull stupid BS then I have no time for people like that. Treat me with respect and I will do anything I can to help you out, both professionally and personally, but be a jerk and I'll tell you to go jump off a cliff.



                              This is true, people have the ability to respond in anyway they please, but just because they can does it really mean they should? Why can't people understand that when someone is asking a serious question that it deserves a serious response. It drives me nuts when people use the line that you used. This forum doesn't belong to you just as much as it doesn't belong to me. Therefor I have just as much of a right to ask for respectful responses as people have to not give me a respectful response. Your response, however, was quite respectful and I did appreciate it. I just don't understand why people seem to go out of their way to be jerks on here sometimes. All I was saying is that if people want to be a jerk and don't have anything of value to add then please don't respond. It's a simple and easy request and if people can't honor it then it just goes to show what kind of person they really are.
                              Although this doesn't seem to apply to you, the reason so many posters are treated as they are is precisely because they are total jerks when they approach the boards. They are total jerks through the course of the thread, and they remain total jerks when the thread is pulled by the moderators or dies a merciful natural death. Overall your post asked some very ligitimate questions, and seems to have garnered the same type of responses. That's called a discussion, and that is in such sharp contrast to the crybaby, self entitled, dingbats who visit us so often.Once more, I hope things work out for you.

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                              • #30
                                I think perhaps the answer is twofold. First, depending on where you're from, some may percieve you as having a "short fuse" when in fact it's simply how you were raised (as opposed to police training). Second, I would try to imagine each person you may want to blow-up at as being your wife or Mother---how would YOU expect a person to respond to them?
                                Sure there are some genuinely stupid people in the World but perhaps they're thinking the same of YOU! I'd step back, imagine a loved one as the annoying person & treat them as you expect a stranger to treat them.....

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