What are your worst fears?

[Blonde Heat]

Being all alone and never getting the chance to love someone because of being afraid that they might just want to control my life.

[Mrs. Fish]

I second what Piper said about never being a police officer no matter how hard you try.

[Dinosaur]

I don't always enjoy talking about my job with non-LEOs but, since they rarely want to talk about anything else, I've gained some experience in dealing with the subject. "How can you do it?" is the standard question, usually followed by a recitation of the things they imagine would be frightening or exceedingly unpleasant about police work. "Yeah, it's tough, but you get used to it", I say, with just a hint of steely resolve. If coaxed, and if I'm feeling expansive, I'll satisfy their curiosity, and probably reinforce their notions, by regaling them with a well-practiced story.

What I seldom say is that most of the perceived horrors they've mentioned are the things I actually enjoy about my work. It's not that I find such things pleasant, mind you, it's just that what they view as unbearable, I see, in a way, as a personal validation....of myself and of my capabilities. In a "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" kind of way, the fact that I've experienced, survived, and coped with the bad and scary stuff makes me proud to be a cop. I've felt fear and revulsion many times while engaged in police work but, in an odd way, the prospect of feeling that fear and revulsion again isn't at all what I fear most.

My most palpable occupational related fear is to find myself caught up in events beyond my control, to wake up one day and find that my world has been turned upside down and inside out by an unexpected twist of fate. I worry, most of all, about becoming a victim of circumstance. There's no amount of training or experience that can prevent it, and there's little one can do, once in the spotlight. A lifetime of dedicated and honorable service can be destroyed by a seemingly minor oversight or a momentary lapse in judgement.

Never being more than a split second away from disgrace, humiliation, loss of job and family, and possible incarceration is the one occupational hazard to which I'll never become accustomed.

[kateykakes]

quote:

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Originally posted by Dinosaur:
I don't always enjoy talking about my job with non-LEOs but, since they rarely want to talk about anything else, I've gained some experience in dealing with the subject.

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Dino,

That's it. I'm insulted. That's all I want you to talk about for now on. Nothing but work. No talk about accents, no talk about the shore, no talk about Wawa, just boring ho-hum work.

[Dinosaur]

Now you know I didn't mean you, Krimpet!

You just wanted me to say that, din't ya?

[Snoopy1]

Mine is becoming physically or mentally unable to care for myself and becoming a burden to my children or entering a "home", especially the last part. I would rather just die and get it over.

[kateykakes]

quote:

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Originally posted by Dinosaur:
Now you know I didn't mean you, Krimpet!

You just wanted me to say that, din't ya?

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Ya know I did, Dino.

[Mrs. Fish]

Snoopy,

I agree with you. I remember, in high school, I worked in a nursing home as a volunteer after school. Everytime I went in there, I told myself that I would never let anyone I love or myself end up in there. I'd rather die young than end up the last part of my life in there. It's not right. It's not happy. It's not me. I don't want to become 60yoa or older and not be able to take care of myself and not remember the faces of my loved ones and to lose all my happy and memorable memories. For my loved ones to see me in that state where I can't control my own bodily functions and lay in bed all day, not being able to live life and rather "waiting" for death... can't do that. That's why I want to LIVE life, not WAIT for death. There is a lot to life than I can ever possibly imagine but I don't know...