Die, die....die my darling!!!

[NeoCop]

Me and my girlfriend was met 4 yrs ago when i was working in State Theatre as an actor. I was interested in Stage Arts and going to "Stage Arts" faculty, "Theatre" division. We met in school and she said me that "She falls in LOVE with me". And i liked her too. We were together for 4 yrs and she always said me that: "How i am handsome, cute, clever" and "How i am perfect human being for her". I always believed what she says to me. And i always treated her honestly, lovely and respectful.

Last day she called me and she said that: "She left me". She told me that "She HATES police and How i am BAD, RUDE, BORING, STUPID and How i am an A**hole!!!"

What the hell is this now? Is my job really that important for her? Or she never loves me, she only loves me cause i am an actor that days and can maybe become a famous actor??? She treated me really bad on the phone and i feel really really bad. She brake my heart deeply Now i dunno what to do about her but i can see that she is right about that i am STUPID!!! How did i make this fault? How i passed 4 long years with that woman???

But i know that if i can turn back the day i decided to become a police officer, I choose the job and my friends at work again. Cause i love my job and "HEY" thats me!!! I am 26 and i am still the same man. No matter i am an actor, doctor, garbage-man or police. My chracter is same. I am still listening to Metallica, still going to same restaurant, still shopping in the same market, still playing pool, still loving going to cinema. So whats the difference inside me and what she wants from me???

Anyway she is gone...I feel bad, upset and angry...Die my darling...See you in HELL!!!

[klar]

I am not one for the best advice but to me it looks like she has a problem with you being a police officer. You will find that as life goes on people are either gonna like you, hate you, or tolorate you. I think that if she was with you for four years and then suddenly this all changed that there is something else going on. I have yet to see a turn about in emotions that severe without some other cause causing it. Whether be another guy, alchohol, or drugs. Something snapped in her maybe and she got tired of the whole thing? I do not know. All I can say is keep true to yourself and what you want to do. There is someone out there for you and I am sure they will find their way to you. Take this as a lesson and learn from it. Best of luck to you.

Klar

[tcsd1236]

Yup, sounds like she was your typical Leftist liberal performing arts type. She probably didn't approve of your career, as it didn't "jibe" with her concept of what an enlightened Liberal person does for a living.
And , more than likely, your time on the Job WAS changing how you look at the world, and that vision didn't agree with concepts she held dear as an "Enlightened Liberal". Solution: she had to dump you. Better it happened now than 10 years and 2.5 kids from now.
Cheer up: there are around 3.5 billion women in the world. Somewhere out there is someone for you.

[PeteBroccolo]

Stick with the Police work and continue to do community theatre (both of which I do), but forget your 4 year lover and wait for another woman to come along that can tolerate you as a Peace Officer and actor. Good luck!

[Blonde Heat]

I am sorry for your heartache. I won't say there is someone out that is probably better for you, because you thought she was perfect for you or you would not have been with her for 4 years. Just believe you will find someone new and interested in the whole you, not someone who has a hang up with the job you chose for yourself. Good luck and hope you feel better soon.

[Metro174]

Sounds to me like she was looking for an excuse. She had to know that you were planning on becoming a cop and her supposed feelings for cops couldn't have changed that quick. Otherwise she would have said something before you started.

Everytime I have been in a relationship that ended I feel like "how can I live without this person" and everytime I have met someone even better. Just hang in there.

[blondie72]

Neo, I have to agree with Metro.

Your ex must have known you were becoming a cop when you were still dating; did she say anything to you about it before? It seems like there may be more to this than is immeadiately apparent.

I am so sorry, I can tell you are angry, and frustrated. Try to focus on the positive- you have many friends whom you can spend quality time with, and you are a handsome young man. It won't be long before a new love makes herself a place in your heart.

Time is the great healer.

[ 09-04-2001: Message edited by: blondie72 ]

[NeoCop]

Well...thanx for the advices friends...BUT she knows i am going to be a LEO and she never say a word about that b4. I really loved her much...I never treated her bad as i never treated anybody bad. All i dont understand is: "Is that really easy to finish all after 4 yrs?" I feel respect to my relationship and still not said any bad words, not sweared after she said me bad words on the phone. BUT all i want is some RESPECT. Some Respect to myself and to my job. Cause i belive that our job is not that easy job that everyone can do. I am angry cause i feel myself like a TOY. Played and when bored throwed out...

[Snoopy1]

You deserve an honest explanation from her, but if she chooses not to give it you should probably not try to get one.

This happens to practically everyone at some time, regardless of career or anything else. Believe it or not, you will meet someone else some day. It may not seem like it now, but you will.

[Sparky]

Metallica? But "Die! Die! Die, my darling!" is a Misfits song! and it's "I'll be seeing you in hell." Not "See you in hell."

I know, there is a language barrier here, but it's the MISFITS man!

Anyway, I been there brother. I had a really reat thing with this girl. Man she was cute and a gymnast and she was sooo funny! (YES!! What they say about gymnasts is TRUE!)

She had to move away...life goes on eh?

About a year and a half go by and I become a cop. I'm working a detail one day and I run into her. She moved back, but I had moved and had an unlisted number and she didn't know how to get in touch with me. She was completely flipped out that I was a cop.

I asked her if she wnated to get together and she flatly refused saying that she had two rules, she didn't date frat boys or cops. Then she just walked away with her nose in the air.

Looking back, I realize that she probably didn't care if i was a cop or not. In fact, I've gotten some VERY lame excuses from girls on why they wouldn't go out with me anymore.

I'd be willing to bet that her not wanting to go out with you had nothing to do with you being a cop, that's just what she told you because she didn't have the guts to be honest with you.

Let it roll off your back man. Just laugh it off. Life lasts a long time if you are lucky, don't sweat the small stuff.

[Neltja]

NeoCop,

I agree with Metro and blondie so will not reiterate what they have stated. I understand the hurt you must be feeling but know that someday a beautiful girl will come into your world and life will be good again.

Nell :

[ 09-04-2001: Message edited by: Neltja ]

[NeoCop]

Sparky,

Sorry about the "Misfits" (Metallica) and "The Hell" thing but English is not my mother language.

Thanx for your advices BUT i still dont believe that "These things can go that easy". 4 yrs is not a short time. I used to be with her. All my problem is now that i think that i didnt deserve this. Everytime i treat ppl good and ppl treat me bad!!! Do i have to say "NO MORE MR.NICE GUY???"

P.S. I hope so. Thank you Neltja.

[ 09-04-2001: Message edited by: NeoCop ]

[Neltja]

Neo,

Never stop being Mr.Nice Guy, it will pay off in the end, even if you may not think so now. Just be careful who you give your heart to.

Nell

[ 09-05-2001: Message edited by: Neltja ]

[Shannon34]

So sorry for your heartache!
Sometimes however there is no 'real' reason for an ending....just GOODBYE.

Shan

[Tia]

NeoCop –

Keep your chin up…
Of course I’m sorry, too, to hear you’ve been tossed a hurtle to jump that’s not always an easy one.

Just remember that – loving someone and believing in the risk of giving your heart, taking that risk and getting “shot” for it – doesn’t mean you’re “stupid.” It just means you’re engaging life as it is – risks and all.

Remember the wise words of Nietzsche: “What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.”

If she doesn’t want anything to do with you now because you’re a cop, she must either be disposed to breaking the law – not a good sign! – or is just a bit of an idiot.
Sorry if that sounds cruel or harsh – but it’s the truth.
Why would anyone not want to be with a cop just because he’s “a cop?”
That’s dumb. It has to have a reason – and the reason can’t be a very noble one.
Even in Turkiye! I know – I’ve had my share of contact with Turkish Security. They’re not all that different from other police – except on the Greek border!
* mutters something to herself here about those guys! *

If it’s not because you became a cop – then there’s something else there being left unsaid…
If it is because you became a cop – then I have to agree with Sparky: water off your back – just laugh it off, shake your head, smile cheerfully and start looking again…

Four years?
Listen to what you’re saying – that’s what you seem to feel worst about… It’s not her, it’s the idea you lost / wasted the time. So just realize you didn’t – and move on with all you got from it.

Sorry for saying so much – but this is one of my peeves!
If someone wants to “hate cops” they need a good reason – like, being a freaking criminal.

Who wants that?