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Made me laugh anyway...

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  • Made me laugh anyway...

    I responded to a domestic early in the evening. I was working OT for the other side of the house for a multitude of reasons: 1) they were short, 2) I like the OT money and 3) Every single time I work with this crew, something off the wall happens. It never fails.

    This was a minimal domestic. Nothing major...man and woman arguing...13 year old daughter calls us from up the road because he won't let anyone near the phone. Yada yada...y'all know how it goes.

    Long story longer...warrants are obtained and wife tells me that he has a gun under the pillow in their bedroom.

    We arrest him and ask where the gun is...it's my intention to seize it for safe keeping.

    Well, it's stolen and so are all the others in the house. This man gets a serious case of verbal vomitting and can NOT stop telling on himself.

    We only asked where the one gun was. We ended up with stolen handguns, shotguns, jewelry, a radio. Hell, he even directed me to the marijuana.

    So anyhow, he and his wife give consent to search the rest of the house.

    I hear this God-awful noise from the bedroom. There's one of the Officers...he's found the wife's...ummm...goody drawer.

    All five of them.

    Drawers, not toys. She HAD to have had forty or fifty of these things and they are everywhere. Skip over the fact that I found a pearl handled auto in the box full of lubes and oils...

    So, this Officers says, "WTF is this?"

    I walk over and identify a very large, double ended adult toy.

    The kicker of it...

    It was curled around...yes, CURLED around a book entitled

    "Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul"

    I about P.I.M.P. laughing.

    Another Officer glances over my shoulder and quips, "Which one do you think they were trying to save the marriage with?"

    Last edited by Smurfette_76; 09-19-2008, 02:25 PM.
    sigpic

    I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

  • #2
    Is your department hiring? I swear I'll just chase down the bad guys you don't want to run after... You have the best stories ever.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Smurfette_76 View Post
      .

      The kicker of it...

      It was curled around...yes, CURLED around a book entitled

      "Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul"

      I about P.I.M.P. laughing.

      Another Officer glances over my shoulder and quips, "Which one do you think they were trying to save the marriage with?"

      ROFLOL that was a great one liner!!

      Comment


      • #4
        LMAO!!! Sounds like an easy, yet slightly disturbing, call for you guys!
        "...and the taking of a life is murder. And the punishment for murder is.... well it varies from state to state and by race, but...." - Homer J Simpson.

        Police: "Stop and we'll shoot!"
        Dilbert: "Stop AND we'll shoot? If you're gonna shoot, why should we stop?"
        Police: "Well, it would be alot easier for us. The targets at the shooting range don't run."

        R.I.P. Momma Coleman. You may have left our world, but you have NOT left our hearts.

        Comment


        • #5
          I assume you were wearing gloves when you touched them, huh?

          Not that you would have to worry about leaving fingerprints, but Lord only knows where those things have been .....were there any farm animals in the yard?

          Just curious......
          "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

          Comment


          • #6
            Smurfette, you need to start contributing your stories to Reader's Digest... I think they pay out $100 if they publish a story you submit. You could be a millionaire in no time...
            sigpic

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Hoosier_Boy View Post
              Is your department hiring? I swear I'll just chase down the bad guys you don't want to run after... You have the best stories ever.
              No way on working there but I wouldn't mind a ride along. But make sure Hoosier is with us cause I'd be laughing to hard to chase anyone.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Hoosier_Boy View Post
                Is your department hiring? I swear I'll just chase down the bad guys you don't want to run after... You have the best stories ever.
                +1!!! I'd apply too!
                For every one hundred men you send us,
                Ten should not even be here.
                Eighty are nothing but targets.
                Nine of them are real fighters;
                We are lucky to have them, they the battle make.
                Ah, but the one. One of them is a warrior.
                And he will bring the others back.

                Comment


                • #9
                  You never fail to surprise, smurf
                  "Friendly Fire, isn't"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    No doubt a guy on my squad would line them all up and take pics with the camera phone.
                    Being a good street cop is like coming to work in a wet suit and peeing in your pants. It's a nice warm feeling, but you're the only one who knows anything has happened.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Guams View Post
                      Smurfette, you need to start contributing your stories to Reader's Digest... I think they pay out $100 if they publish a story you submit. You could be a millionaire in no time...
                      +1

                      Smurfette, you've got some very intersting stories.

                      CrossFit

                      RossTraining

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Y'all are more than welcome to come on...ride alongs welcome I'll buy dinner for the ones that like to run
                        sigpic

                        I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Smurfette_76 View Post
                          Y'all are more than welcome to come on...ride alongs welcome I'll buy dinner for the ones that like to run
                          LOL - I did say I was looking for somewhere out of WI to apply, didn't I? You're in TX, right? PM the location please!

                          I am a horrible runner, it just sounds like the folks down there really enjoy their work!
                          For every one hundred men you send us,
                          Ten should not even be here.
                          Eighty are nothing but targets.
                          Nine of them are real fighters;
                          We are lucky to have them, they the battle make.
                          Ah, but the one. One of them is a warrior.
                          And he will bring the others back.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hook up sometime with someone who works Xray dept in a city hospital ER and see thier collection of xrays of things that Gay men put in places things like that should not fit.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by (S)Sgt Elmer View Post
                              LOL - I did say I was looking for somewhere out of WI to apply, didn't I? You're in TX, right? PM the location please!

                              I am a horrible runner, it just sounds like the folks down there really enjoy their work!
                              *shock and awe*

                              NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, not Texas (I like it there, have family, just don't live there).

                              I'm in Eastern NC
                              sigpic

                              I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

                              Comment

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