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  • How do you do it?

    How do you handle the crap day in and day out? Just 24 hours of helping a friend of mine through finding out her daughter was being molested and I am emotionally wrung out. I've helped friends and aquaintences get away from abusers. When I lived in the city, my next door neighbor was raped and I was with her through that.

    I can not imagine doing it, along with everything else you all deal with day in and day out for years. How do you do it and keep your sense of self? Your stability or equilibrium or whatever you choose to call it.

    My hat's off to you. Thank you for what you do and for just being you.
    http://hoppeshomestead.blogspot.com/

    The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. – Thomas Jefferson

  • #2
    Originally posted by Mrs. Hoppes View Post
    How do you handle the crap day in and day out? Just 24 hours of helping a friend of mine through finding out her daughter was being molested and I am emotionally wrung out. I've helped friends and aquaintences get away from abusers. When I lived in the city, my next door neighbor was raped and I was with her through that.

    I can not imagine doing it, along with everything else you all deal with day in and day out for years. How do you do it and keep your sense of self? Your stability or equilibrium or whatever you choose to call it.

    My hat's off to you. Thank you for what you do and for just being you.
    Part of it may be that as those things you listed happened to friends and aquaintences, you are somewhat involved on an emotional level. Cops usually try to detach themselves emotionally from such events as they happen to strangers. When kids are involved, it can be tough(especially if the officer has kids of his/her own), but most officers learn to control their emotions and keep them in check.

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    • #3
      That sense of detachment is absolutely critical. I hesitate to even bring this up, because many non-LE won't understand, but I can think back on some critical incidents in which I've been involved and can remember not really caring much, at least not to the point that it affected my ability to do the job. Usually for me it's after the incident that I start to "feel" something and sometimes it can take days for it to finally leave my thoughts.
      Those who are successful at what they do don't give a rip about what others think about them.

      We don't rent pigs.

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      • #4
        Emotional detatchment is part of how we do our job. That is why we seem so rude sometimes to the public. It's also a big negative to because we have a difficult time with relationships.

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        • #5
          If we don't, then who will?

          Most of us commit to this job out of a sense of wanting to help others; however, for our own stability we can't always afford to become emotionally attached to those we help. It's NOT that we don't care about society, but we have to maintain something private for ourselves or we couldn't cope with everything. In addition, in situations of high stress someone has to be the calm one. When you allow emotions to rule you'll miss something. Our ultimate goal is to help the victim and catch the defendant to bring to him/her to a successful trial...if you become sloppy, who pays? The victim. Again.


          There are those cases of "true" victims (those that haven't helped to create their own victimization) that stays with me and that I can remember. I had a 20 month old drown in her backyard pool just before I left to go on my honeymoon. I cried at the hospital when I had to take the pictures. It was sad. Perfect little angel laying there...it affected me as a mother and an Officer. Then I had to go talk to the very young mother that fell asleep while the baby was up and about. Both of them so very young and the mother has to deal with the pain. It was hard talking to her as well. You float between pity and anger. You can't change it. Getting mad won't help anyone. Sometimes it just is what it is.
          sigpic

          I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

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          • #6
            First off, thank you very much for the compliment.

            I work the majority of the sex crimes in our department and we seem to have a staggering number of juvenile victims.

            I simply couldn't tell you why.

            Anyway, investigating these particular crimes is exhausting and emotionally draining.

            But you develop ways to relieve stress and to stay focused for the victims.

            Because we have to.

            Some officers do burn out and I know if I ever start to reach that point, then I will pass this duty along to someone else and go back to writing traffic tickets.

            Rev

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