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what is it like for the family of leo's?

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  • #16
    All my life growing up my dad was a DEA agent, for the most part of when I can remember he was in an office and home but for a few of my younger years he was out of the country with his group of agents. He missed a few holidays, and some school events.

    When I was 9 he was moved from the DC office to the NY office and was told he would only be there for 6 months till a new head could be appointed. He didnt move the rest of the family just got an apartment by himself up there and said he would come home every other weekend. I will admit I cried for about the first week or two that he was not there I no longer had my dad to tuck me in, play catch with me, watch me at soccer practice, drive me to school like we always used to do. Six months quickly turned into a year and then finally after three years he was moved back to the DC office. In the time he was gone he missed most all of my school activities and most of my games, he tried to alwasy be home for birthdays and most holidays, I also had alot of friends that thought my parents were divorced because he was never around. (being 9-12 that is the last thing you want people thinking about your family). I think I lost alot of time with my dad in those three years but he did everything he could including driving from NYC to NoVA friday nights 4-6 hours and then back up on Sunday nights just so he could be with us.

    Once he was back in the DC office he was for the most part always around. He made sure all though high school he was at every single soccer game not matter how far, and every single band performance or competition, I honestly think he thought he had to make it up to me being gone for so long.

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    • #17
      I think this has been posted on here before but I think it sums it up.

      I had the sad misfortune of going to Deputy Brandy Winfield's funeral. I do not know Deputy Winfield or his family, yet we have a strong connection. I am a police officer's wife. Everyday, I kiss my husband goodbye and hope it's not the last. Everyday, my small children give their daddy five kisses on the cheek and one on the forehead.
      I don't know if they know all of the dangers of daddy's job, but they know the importance of their goodbye ritual. I have received phone calls about my husband being involved in an injury accident and incidents where he has been injured. I have received phone calls from friends whose husbands have been seriously injured or involved in a shooting. I have exchanged phone calls with other "cop" wives because we "just didn't have a good feeling" and our anxiety and fear is high. I have sat and filled out the critical incident book with my husband to plan his funeral. What songs, where, who would be pall bearers?
      I have made my husband dinner at eleven o'clock at night because he spent his dinner money on a hungry child who has been removed from their home. I have stayed up until 4 am because he was so distraught over a violent murder or the fact that he was with someone who died completely alone and was discovered three weeks later. I have gone to many functions alone because he serves his community proudly. We have spent holidays and special occasions without him. This is the life of a law enforcement officer's family. We accept it as part of the calling of our spouses and part of our lives. We proudly support our husbands. We take care of them and let them know how much we love them.
      But I wonder, does our community support our officers? I pick up the paper or watch the news and it seems they are quick to point out how many officers have had complaints made on them, investigations that are occurring for misconduct, excessive force and you name it. Yet, it is never published how many compliments that officer has had, or how many of those issues have been unfounded. I am asking you to think about when was the last time you thanked a law enforcement officer? That officer is a person. They are a daddy, mommy, husband, wife, son, daughter, brother, sister, or friend. Someone deeply loves that person. Everyday they put their uniform on and proudly walk out the door to protect and serve their community without thought to the risk they may be taking.
      Before you criticize a police officer, think about what they are doing to keep you safe. Think about the ultimate duty they are doing for the community you live in. And most of all, when you see an officer, say "thank you!".

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      • #18
        My father is a Police Officer and I have 3 uncles that are and a cousin and i'm in the process of being one. As a child i watched my mother have sleepless nights. Every time the phone rang she rushed to grab it to make sure it was my father checking in or it was not the LT. calling to inform us of bad news. My father has broken his hand twice, sprained his ankle, and has had a couple of accidents at work. I prayed for my father every night before I went to bed. Despite the work load and hours my father was still there for my events but the majority of my child hood he was at work. I thank GOD he is still here to this day with 22yrs on the department in one of the roughest cities in the United States that has had Officers killing Officers. Just a little insight for your question.
        "Jesus and I are a two man car"

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        • #19
          My wife seems to handle it well. She isn't the nervous type and knows I do everything I can to stay safe.

          My four children (all daughters) seem to handle it well, but they are seven years on down. They always want to know when I am going to have time off and look forward to it, but that would likely be the case in any job I held.

          The biggest thing for us is that my wife is a stay-at-home mother and our children are homeschooled, therefore they can easily adapt to any schedule I am on. Since we don't have to work around another job schedule or school schedule, family outings and such are easy to plan.

          When I was in Idaho and lived in the same town I worked, I could go home for dinner. We often ate together as late as 2200 hours, and the children were often up until midight or later. It worked great.

          I've also worked in small towns and have been fortunate to have supervisors who while grumpy sometimes, knew I worked hard for them and were willing to be flexible for family events. I took almost one month off work for the birth of our first child!
          Last edited by barkalot; 07-29-2007, 06:08 AM. Reason: numerous and asundry typos
          Those who are successful at what they do don't give a rip about what others think about them.

          We don't rent pigs.

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          • #20
            I think the toughest thing that LEO family members deal with is the worry of there loved ones coming home safely from thier shift. My father was a deputy on late shift when I was growing up, and when he didnt show up from work in the morning I would worry about why he was not home.

            My 2 younger brothers and I also entered the law enforcement field. The most dreaded thing is your phone ringing in the middle of the night. Unfortunately I got one of those calls about 8 years ago when my youngest brother was killed on duty. To this day whenever the phone rings in the middle of the night by heart jumps even though my father is retired and my other brother is on day shift. My wife handles things pretty good, I often work past my shift 3P/11P and she is sleeping. She works in LE too (parole/pro agent) and she never had expressed her concern but I am sure when the phone rings she feels the same as I do.
            We will never for forget , in memory of "051", my baby brother, E.O.W. 09/23/98.

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