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  • Marrying a female officer

    Hey everyone,

    I've shared many times here, but just a quick reminder, I wanted to be a cop, got into detentions with a local PD, realized it wasn't for me. Went on to pursue a career in the electric field, but I did not feel complete. I went back to the security field and found something I love in the executive protection industry.
    im also a vet, still in the reserves and recently back from deployment in the middle east.

    NOW... My long term girlfriend became a deputy and I don't have to tell y'all what that means, you know the sacrifice. I want to marry her, we've discussed it a few times but I haven't popped the question after 8 years together (wanted to get established first)

    I don't feel like I would be the average civilian husband because I have lived through my own hell but I'm a work in progress. She tells me her stories sometimes and i feel like we have a good understanding of one another.

    I guess the reason for me posting this is to try to find other people like myself who are married or in a relationship with female cops since it is a very unique situation. What are obstacles that I may have to prepare for? What do you do to keep a strong bond even when both careers take so much of your time.
    im.not looking for relationship advise, just a few pointers on what to expect.

    Thanks all

  • #2
    Former active duty infantry Marine and deputy, I couldn’t do it.

    Expect to be cheated on,.......

    Comment


    • ArmyVet
      ArmyVet commented
      Editing a comment
      That was uncalled for.

  • #3
    Whoa, that was unexpected.

    Comment


    • Levithane
      Levithane commented
      Editing a comment
      He's just being honest with you. Infidelity is pretty prominent in the gov't sector, not gonna get into specifics but it happens quite frequently.

  • #4
    I get that, seen a lot happen in the military as well, but I'm not worried about that to be honest, because I also have met females that carry themselves with respect and dignity and I know my partner very well, she's one to be respected.

    Comment


    • #5
      Originally posted by MRA89 View Post
      I get that, seen a lot happen in the military as well, but I'm not worried about that to be honest, because I also have met females that carry themselves with respect and dignity and I know my partner very well, she's one to be respected.
      IF you love this woman and you want to marry her. That's your choice. Go ahead and make her an honest lady.

      Comment


      • #6
        Jody’s always around,......

        Comment


        • #7
          Originally posted by NolaT View Post
          Jody’s always around,......
          Lol the infamous Jody.

          Comment


          • #8
            Originally posted by scotty_appleton814 View Post

            IF you love this woman and you want to marry her. That's your choice. Go ahead and make her an honest lady.
            Yeah I plan to do so. I know it's gonna be hard but I'm willing to take on the challenge. Infidelity can happen regardless of profession. It all depends on the person. She's a very strong woman who doesn't take s#it from anyone and respects herself. Im literally not worried about that, im more worried about keeping a strong bond regardless of both of our careers being very demanding.

            Comment


            • #9
              Originally posted by MRA89 View Post
              I want to marry her, we've discussed it a few times but I haven't popped the question after 8 years together (wanted to get established first)

              I don't feel like I would be the average civilian husband because I have lived through my own hell but I'm a work in progress. She tells me her stories sometimes and i feel like we have a good understanding of one another.
              Oof. Either you're not that great at articulating what kind of relationship you have with her or you both aren't terribly intimate for having been together for eight years. Regardless, based on your post it sounds as though it won't be that much of a challenge for her to be away on a regular basis. Anyways, you're going to have a tough time finding the perspective you're looking for. I would direct you towards the few female officers we have on here and ask them for their perspective, assuming they're married.
              "It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived."- George S. Patton Jr.

              Comment


              • #10
                Originally posted by COMoparfan392 View Post

                Oof. Either you're not that great at articulating what kind of relationship you have with her or you both aren't terribly intimate for having been together for eight years. Regardless, based on your post it sounds as though it won't be that much of a challenge for her to be away on a regular basis. Anyways, you're going to have a tough time finding the perspective you're looking for. I would direct you towards the few female officers we have on here and ask them for their perspective, assuming they're married.
                I mean, there isn't much more I can add. We have been in a relationship for 8 years. We sit down and converse about everything from funny stories to stressful incidents that may have happened throughout the day. She's a cop and provide security for extremely rich people all day, we're thankful for every minute we have together, what else can I say? Lol

                Forget the job titles we have, I want to know how married couples with demanding positions manage their family time.
                Maybe a female's perspective would be more helpful. Idk, thought I'd find someone here in my position lol
                Last edited by MRA89; 11-01-2019, 11:28 AM.

                Comment


                • #11
                  Anyone, male or female, halfway decent looking will have their perceived looks / attractiveness increase dramatically when in uniform.

                  LEO’s get hit on a Lot, more so with females, because they’re still somewhat rare in comparison to their male partners.

                  A cute female officer will look Super Hot, to many civilians and fellow officers alike. Every day she’ll be hit on by guys much more attractive than you,....no matter how attractive you are.

                  Not being an LEO, you’ll Never fully understand what she’s going through on a daily basis; just a fact.

                  At some point don’t be surprised when you find out that she’s got a close male friend that she confides in, “Because he really understands what I’m going through,......”

                  It won’t happrn immediately, it’ll be awhile and most likely someone that you have met, and maybe are even friends with through her,.....

                  Comment


                  • #12
                    Agree with the above posts. OP you also you mentioned you do executive protection, Marine and still in the reserves? I don't think I need to be the one who says there's the good chance the wives of those you protect will be clawing at your heels. Point is both of you and your GF sound moral, but the fields you're both in is polluted with people who are ok with infidelity.
                    Last edited by Levithane; 11-01-2019, 03:35 PM. Reason: Grammar

                    Comment


                    • #13
                      Stay single

                      Comment


                      • #14
                        Originally posted by NolaT View Post
                        Anyone, male or female, halfway decent looking will have their perceived looks / attractiveness increase dramatically when in uniform.

                        LEO’s get hit on a Lot, more so with females, because they’re still somewhat rare in comparison to their male partners.

                        A cute female officer will look Super Hot, to many civilians and fellow officers alike. Every day she’ll be hit on by guys much more attractive than you,....no matter how attractive you are.

                        Not being an LEO, you’ll Never fully understand what she’s going through on a daily basis; just a fact.

                        At some point don’t be surprised when you find out that she’s got a close male friend that she confides in, “Because he really understands what I’m going through,......”

                        It won’t happrn immediately, it’ll be awhile and most likely someone that you have met, and maybe are even friends with through her,.....


                        She got hit on a lot way before she became an LEO, nothing new there. I mean, what kind of a fool would I be to think she wouldn't. That doesn't scare me man lol
                        you're a marine, you know the deal. I was out on my last deployment dodging all kinds of women, african, european, indian, a lot of philipino chicks. Just because there's temptation in front of you doesn't mean every person will fall for it. And if it happens, I'm confident enough to know I'll be alright because I'm a self made man. No matter what, I'm always working on my own development improving myself and not worried about the next person.

                        I'm not an LEO so I would not know exactly what she's going through, but vice versa, she will never understand what it's like to patrol the desert in 140 degree weather in a humvee with the ac busted, wearing full gear trying not lose focus on your sorroundins and telling yourself not to pass out. You feel me? At no point did I feel like I needed to put my john in anyone else because "she didn't understand me". That's a BS argument.

                        That's on her man, like I said, if she has close friends that she can talk to for her peace of mind, who am I to prevent that? I still keep in contact with all my brothers and sisters in arms.

                        I think someone hurt you devil dog, and you're projecting that onto this post.
                        Last edited by MRA89; 11-02-2019, 05:39 AM.

                        Comment


                        • #15
                          Originally posted by Levithane View Post
                          Agree with the above posts. OP you also you mentioned you do executive protection, Marine and still in the reserves? I don't think I need to be the one who says there's the good chance the wives of those you protect will be clawing at your heels. Point is both of you and your GF sound moral, but the fields you're both in is polluted with people who are ok with infidelity.
                          Im good at dodging thirsty females.

                          Comment

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