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  • #46
    Finding someone via the internet can be hit and miss. I met my last two boyfriends online. One was psycho and emotionally abusive, and my last one was just the most awesome person ever. Unfortunately distance was a factor in our breakup.
    Never argue with idiots - they just drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

    Chaos, Panic and Disorder....my work here is done!

    As her tears fell at his feet, she didn't say "I Love You," what she said meant even more: I laugh, I love, I hope, I tried. I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry and I know you do the same things too. So we're really not that different, me and you.

    Comment


    • #47
      Hmmm... I agree w/ what some of the other ladies have said.. (and since this is the internet... I am assuming they are ladies and not 50 yo males sitting scratching something in San Antonio ). Yes, ladies are attracted to confident Alpha male type. No, I don't believe you are a downer or anything for expressing your desire to share things with someone who cares about you- or know that you are cared for yourself. Anyone who says they don't need it/want it are lying only to themselves. You should have someone to share your time with... after all, that's what we are here to do. I like the idea of meeting someone at your son's day care, I saw you aren't really a church goin fella so pretending just to meet a female probably isn't the way to go. My sister met a guy online who she really likes... but with that you have the chance of meeting some real nut-o's. But then again, that's life. There are bad apples everywhere. Granted, you probably wont meet the future Mrs. GPOC dangling upside down off a pole... but you never know. I do think that guys or girls who are really "On the hunt" put off this strange aura around them.... kindof a little desperate or something.... you know exactly what I'm talking about too. You've gone to the BBQ and seen the friend of a friend that was just way too perky and laughed like a goose- only to go "Whoa! No way!" My vote goes for relax, spend some time with your son, and see what happens. Also, as far as the 42yo that may or may not work out... if you have to talk about whether or not to start something.... chances are you probably shouldn't start it. It should feel really natural. You'll know. You'll be leaving a 7-11 and you'll pass by an amazing brunette whos paying for her gas, she'll flash you those pearly whites and you'll just go for it. Best of luck to you... and you are still really young. Guys have a lot longer shelf life then the ladies. I'm in my late/mid 20's and I just got told I'm too old to fit into the fun category anymore, that it stops at 24. So at least there's a bright side for you.
      Last edited by rose; 05-09-2007, 08:09 PM.

      Comment


      • #48
        Originally posted by rose View Post
        I don't believe you are a downer or anything for expressing your desire to share things with someone who cares about you- or know that you are cared for yourself. Anyone who says they don't need it/want it are lying only to themselves.
        I thought your post was great, but i do disagree with that last part.

        I DONT need or want it. And the reason i dont is because its NOT worth the hassle - the hassle of "looking for it," and the hassle of worrying about the guy once youre in it.

        And i've had long-lasting love, so i figure that's IT for me.

        You're 24 and not in the fun category anymore!? Wait til youre 48, like me!

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        • #49
          Originally posted by Jellybean400 View Post
          I thought your post was great, but i do disagree with that last part.
          I DONT need or want it. And the reason i dont is because its NOT worth the hassle - the hassle of "looking for it," and the hassle of worrying about the guy once youre in it.
          And i've had long-lasting love, so i figure that's IT for me.
          You're 24 and not in the fun category anymore!? Wait til youre 48, like me!
          Yea, I guess I can see the whole hassle part.... and also my BF brought up a good point of the whole "It's better to be lonely and not with anyone, than in a relationship and lonely". Oh no... I'm not 24... Im 27... a male friend informed me that girls are in several catagories.... under 18- not to be thought of, 18-24 fun good times girl, 24-33 pressure for marriage, 33-38 pressure for marriage, babies, 38-50..... (I didn't let him get to that)

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          • #50
            Originally posted by rose View Post
            Hmmm... I agree w/ what some of the other ladies have said.. (and since this is the internet... I am assuming they are ladies and not 50 yo males sitting scratching something in San Antonio ). Yes, ladies are attracted to confident Alpha male type. No, I don't believe you are a downer or anything for expressing your desire to share things with someone who cares about you- or know that you are cared for yourself. Anyone who says they don't need it/want it are lying only to themselves. You should have someone to share your time with... after all, that's what we are here to do. I like the idea of meeting someone at your son's day care, I saw you aren't really a church goin fella so pretending just to meet a female probably isn't the way to go. My sister met a guy online who she really likes... but with that you have the chance of meeting some real nut-o's. But then again, that's life. There are bad apples everywhere. Granted, you probably wont meet the future Mrs. GPOC dangling upside down off a pole... but you never know. I do think that guys or girls who are really "On the hunt" put off this strange aura around them.... kindof a little desperate or something.... you know exactly what I'm talking about too. You've gone to the BBQ and seen the friend of a friend that was just way too perky and laughed like a goose- only to go "Whoa! No way!" My vote goes for relax, spend some time with your son, and see what happens. Also, as far as the 42yo that may or may not work out... if you have to talk about whether or not to start something.... chances are you probably shouldn't start it. It should feel really natural. You'll know. You'll be leaving a 7-11 and you'll pass by an amazing brunette whos paying for her gas, she'll flash you those pearly whites and you'll just go for it. Best of luck to you... and you are still really young. Guys have a lot longer shelf life then the ladies. I'm in my late/mid 20's and I just got told I'm too old to fit into the fun category anymore, that it stops at 24. So at least there's a bright side for you.

            Great post Rose..thanks for this one ....too old for the fun category? I doubt that one
            Leave Space Empty

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            • #51
              Originally posted by rose View Post
              Yea, I guess I can see the whole hassle part.... and also my BF brought up a good point of the whole "It's better to be lonely and not with anyone, than in a relationship and lonely". Oh no... I'm not 24... Im 27... a male friend informed me that girls are in several catagories.... under 18- not to be thought of, 18-24 fun good times girl, 24-33 pressure for marriage, 33-38 pressure for marriage, babies, 38-50..... (I didn't let him get to that)

              Seriously in my mind age is just a number that depends on the maturity level of both involved. Several older women I have met though have issues dating younger guys

              Just my .02
              Leave Space Empty

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              • #52
                I know - i cracked up when i saw the "38-50 age range"... and then i guess after that is not even included!!

                I belong to a GREAT posting board, called AgelessLove.com... i joined back when i was seeing a younger guy...because at first you do think its strange...other people make you feel that way. It ended up being a great relationship, and he was 18 years younger than me.

                Its great to see the relationships on that board, and the huge agegaps, and many are long-distance relationships too, though they do visit each other now and then, and most end up moving to one country or the other. Its a really interesting place.

                I truly believe that age is just a number. There are many different levels of maturity, experience, and intelligence.

                And rose i agree - better to be lonely and alone, than lonely while youre with someone else!

                Comment


                • #53
                  Originally posted by Jellybean400 View Post
                  I truly believe that age is just a number. There are many different levels of maturity, experience, and intelligence.
                  Hmmm.... true. Thanks to Demi Moore it's now the "Vogue" thing for the ladies to do too!!

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    It may sound corny...

                    But you can actually meet some awesome people on sites like myyearbook.com ! I know that sounds impossible. But trust me they are not all teenagers. I have several cop friends there, firefighters, soldiers and other respectable people. You just have to learn to weed them out. But you can really get to know someone there. Good luck to you!

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      GPOC, you have to keep in mind that being single again is still pretty new for you right now and while you're anxious to get rid of those feelings of loneliness and not having a constant companion by your side, it's not going to happen overnight and not without you putting effort into it. Getting further involved with your son's activities is an excellent idea. I cannot recommend the internet from personal experience, but I do know people who have had much success in meeting their significant others online.

                      As for age - who cares? The only number I'm ever interested in is IQ, and when I've dipped into the shallow side of that pool I've been very disappointed and astonishingly underestimated. Big surprise, lol. Don't ever settle or compromise your standards, you'll only end up annoyed and possibly hurt.

                      Never forget also that the perfect person for you could be right under your nose. Trust me.

                      And check your PM. I'm loathe to say much more here.
                      All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion and desire.

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Originally posted by Buttercup View Post
                        As for age - who cares?
                        Tell that to the judge and let me know how it works out.

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Originally posted by SVT-LINCOLN View Post
                          Tell that to the judge and let me know how it works out.
                          Allow me to modify that statement for those who don't know me well enough to know that I would never under any circumstances advocate becoming involved with someone underage and who, considering the previous posts regarding age, do not recognize what I was referencing:


                          As for age - who cares, as long as the person is of adult age?


                          Better?
                          All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion and desire.

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Originally posted by Buttercup View Post
                            Never forget also that the perfect person for you could be right under your nose. Trust me.

                            And check your PM. I'm loathe to say much more here.


                            I'm not sure but someone may have been reaching out to you not long ago at a different place
                            Leave Space Empty

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                            • #59
                              I was 42 when I married for the first (and only) time.

                              I had come to the conclusion that I might not ever find a life partner, so I'd better make the most of my life that I could. Poured myself into my work and my interests, made my home as nice as I could, lived life as fully as I could.

                              I didn't give up though-- that almost implies a decision to stay single or unwillingness to take advantage of opportunities that do arise. I let my friends know I was interested in dating, but still didn't have many opportunities. (I think dating an Episcopal priest probably carries just as much baggage with it as dating a cop!) Didn't date often, in other words.

                              But you know what? It only takes one if that happens to be the right one! I went on a rare blind date arranged by a friend and found my life partner. We've been married over 11 years now.

                              So, my .02 is: stay open to the opportunities, but live your life as fully as you can, as you are. You only get one go-around, and whether you are alone or with a partner, make the most of it.
                              We do not all come to religion over the wandering years,
                              but sooner or later we all get to meet God. -- Edward Conlon

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Originally posted by GPOC View Post
                                How do you get over that lonely and/or unloved feeling? Lack of affection in your life? This truely sucks and sometimes it hits me pretty damn hard especially now that the weather is getting nice. And don't say get out and join a club or some crap like that. I am very social when I can be due to work and my son but it's damn hard to even find anyone. Can it get any harder to find that special someone again that just wants to enjoy a nice laid back lifestyle and have some fun with a nice guy?
                                I was single for a long time even though I always wanted to meet the right girl for me, and I couldn't stand participating in the kinds of activities where most single people hope to meet someone.

                                The effort I made to try to increase my chances consisted of things like going foodshopping alone, renting videos, doing my laundry, or going to the gym on Friday nights. For a couple of years, my Friday routine was the gym followed by the video store, and not just the video store, but the documentary/science section of the video store. The idea was to meet someone who also shared my interests, not just my schedule. I always hoped to run into a a potential girlfriend who had nothing better to do and wasn't ashamed of it. I worked out at random gyms instead of mine and if a girl caught my eye, I trained there again the same day/time the next week. (If she was REALLY hot, I signed up for a trial week on the spot ) About the only thing I "forced" myself to do was stuff like getting sun in the park with my dog instead of alone on my roof, because "you never knew who you could meet today" etc. I also walked my dog a lot more than when I had a girlfriend and always with a Frisbee.

                                I drew the line at stuff I'd have had to suffer through and figured there was no point in meeting anybody there unless she just happened to get dragged to the same place I got dragged to that day. My chances of meeting her were probably better in the supermarket.

                                My wife and I met through IMs on AOL and I dated more than a few girls from on-line, and that was way before all these mainstream meeting websites. In my opinion, as long as you meet pretty soon into it and do your basic "due diligence" on someone to verify whatever they tell you, it's no "riskier" than hooking up in person in a bar. I was exactly where you're at for a long time until I found her. I'd even completely accepted that it probably wouldn't ever happen, in which case, the next best thing was remaining alone and just dating casually forever, or at least until the only women who still gave me the time of day were....MY age

                                Basically, don't get sucked into going anywhere you'd hate being, but do try to maximize the already small enough chances of running into someone coincidentally who happens to be doing whatever you're doing at the time. Shower and shave at times you might prefer to skip the effort just to get the paper or whatever else you run out of the house for, too...you never know who might be buying milk at the same time.

                                EDITED TO ADD BEFORE GETTING FLAMED FOR IT:

                                Yes, in many respects, age is just a number. On the other hand, there's often a very direct relationship between someone's age and the likelihood of your being attracted to them, and there's nothing "superficial" at all about ALSO wanting to be very physically attracted to a potential partner.
                                Last edited by ProWriter; 05-11-2007, 07:54 PM. Reason: mistakes
                                No longer ignoring anybody here, since that psycho known as "Josey Wales" finally got the boot after being outed as a LE imposter by B&G978. Nice job.

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