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  • Dating a detective...

    I'm dating a detective and I am finding it difficult adjusting to his strange hours......Sometimes he works two days straight and by the end of the week he's shot. I think he's a wonderful guy and I wouldn't give up what we have....but I'm wondering if anyone else runs into the same issue and how do they cope.
    BE AGGRESSIVE, B-E AGGRESSIVE, B-E- A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!

  • #2
    Police work is 24-7, the hours are crazy and can be unpredictable. Example, you guys can have plans because his shift ends at 4PM and then just before he supposed to get off, something happens were he has to stay. Guess what, plans go out the window. This is not unusual. No 9-5 with weekends off, at least on a regular basis. And yes, if he's a Det. you have the "on call" issue to deal with. Hey, i'm married with four kids, my wife put up with alot for the years i was in L.E untill i retired. This is why we have 20 or 25 year retirement. And, yes my family WAS the main reason i retired.
    Hey it can work, there are many happy relationships in L.E, you just have to think out of the box.
    retired, NOT retarded

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    • #3
      1.) Are you on the job yourself.
      2.) How long have you been dating.
      3.) Don't ask him to quiet, cause that wouldn't be good.
      4.) If he loves what he is doing, then you can't ask for anything more.

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      • #4
        Sometimes he works two days straight and by the end of the week he's shot
        do you mean 2 WEEKS straight? or 2 days in a row?

        been married to my husband for 7 years....have been with him 14 years total, before he even got into LE. he's a busy guy. he's on call 24/7. it works for us...as i'm quite independant and also have my own job and responsibilities and hobbies. and i also enjoy my alone time.

        you need to find a happy medium is all..and perhaps have a thick skin, be able to think outside the box...as wing said...and...have your own life independant of his. jmo. it's worked well for us. good luck

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        • #5
          It's the nature of the job.

          I did a tour in the Detective bureau for 4 yrs and once had to get up from my Daugther's 4th birthday party and go to the ER to interview a victim....then had to go to a seperate hospital in another county and interview another victim! By the time I got home she was fast asleep in her bed.

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          • #6
            thanks guys...

            Thanks Everyone!!! I consider myself a strong person- so far, so good....we have only been dating about a month....but things are great besides the hours....... he worked a week straight this week...not usual- but he's working on a big case...and sometimes he does work 2 days straight. He loves his job but hates the hours..... Well, I'm going to try to make the best of it.... And to answer your question no I am not a leo,I am a model....but I am in school, going for court reporting, always had in interest in the law
            BE AGGRESSIVE, B-E AGGRESSIVE, B-E- A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!

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            • #7
              Overtime is the nature of the beast. As is being on-call 24/7. Look at it this way, he'll appreciate the support from you when he's home, he'll make good money in overtime, and he can retire early with benefits. Life is going to be good, just try not to give him grief about his career choice....
              Three Stripes beats Four Aces.
              Retirement: You've Won the War when you're Paid to Stay at Home.

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              • #8
                be understanding, thats the main point. Like said above, this is a 24/ 7 job. criminals dont go on vacation and they dont take breaks.

                Being a detective vs a street cop, yes his hours are absolutly crazy and will wreck havoc on ANY relationship. Sometimes the best thing you can do, to get time is say...let me come over , cook or bring food and just watch TV. He is shot, yep but you still get some time. and he will see that you are working with him, not agaist him.

                a cop is a cop, lifelong- and most likliy if he has made it up to detecive, he isnt going to stop for a relationship at this time level.

                its hared, but you sound like you are willing to work with him, just undertnad that he is really doing a job and thts what he loves, and if you can let that be, he will let you be.....with him.
                ‘Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.’
                Oscar Wilde

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                • #9
                  If that is really you in your profile gawd damn!

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