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  • Children

    Unfortunately while on patrol all of us run across kids who have parents that could care less about them. I can't count the number of times I have driven through trailer parks and see really young kids out on bikes, filthy, no shoes, a defeated look on their young faces and with an apparent lack of supervision.
    When I see these kids it kills me. I wonder if their parents really care for them. If their dads play with with them and raise them or do those awesome father son things.
    The problem I am having is everytime I see these kids I put my sons face on them and it ruins my day. I think of how horrible it would be if someone were to treat my boy like they treat their own kids and the thought is devastating.
    I guess the point is I am wondering if I am losing my freaking mind. I try not to dwell on such things but I guess it is inevitable.
    Prov 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

  • #2
    You know, I deal with this daily. 8 year olds giving me the bird and calling me a n**ger. But I have been there to help many kids that have been left alone for days. I spent every dollar in my wallet to get them food before taking them to cs. It does get to me. My wife, kids and I took toys and clothes to a family this Christmas that was ignored by all the touchy feelies. They were so humble and grateful and it made us feel so humble. She never saw me as a person. I see her almost everyday and now she "fights" for me. Officer "Magicman" is a good man. I only did it because I knew they wouldn't have Christmas and she was too proud to ask for help. Meanwhile all of the blood suckers had the church groups in bringing them so much stuff. I always have candy in my car for the kids. They can say whatever they want but I'm trying to teach them respect and that I AM NOT the bad guy. I stop and play hoops when I can with them.
    Don't get down. But I can see why you do. I tuck in my hat a pic of my kids. When I get down, I look at it. Makes me smile. Chin up bro.

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    • #3
      It is sad to see people raise there kids that way. My girls are dressed nicely and I always play with them. my girls deserve the best.
      http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...004/hottie.jpg
      "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail"- Vince Lombardi

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      • #4
        I used to feel that way until I went to Iraq...at least these kids have a bike to ride and are not living in a war zone. Some of the kids and people I met didn't know if they were going to live from day to day. Sometimes...just sometimes...the worst of conditions in the US is better than the best in other countries. Do your best to take care of your own and others when you get the opportunity and God will look on you for doing that!
        "When I came home, people often asked me about Iraq, and mostly I told them it wasn't so bad. I didn't know how to explain myself to them. The war really wasn't so bad. Yes, there were bombs and shootings and nervous times, but that was just the job. In fact, going to war is rather easy. You react to situations around you and try not to die. There are no electric bills or car payments or chores around the house. Just go to work, come home alive, and do it again tomorrow." - Brian Mockenhaupt

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        • #5
          Originally posted by pujolsfan146
          When I see these kids it kills me. I wonder if their parents really care for them. If their dads play with with them and raise them or do those awesome father son things.
          The problem I am having is everytime I see these kids I put my sons face on them and it ruins my day. I think of how horrible it would be if someone were to treat my boy like they treat their own kids and the thought is devastating.
          I guess the point is I am wondering if I am losing my freaking mind. I try not to dwell on such things but I guess it is inevitable.
          And here you see, pujolsfan, why you, are a shining example of a great cop and a great dad. Expressly because, "the thought is devastating."

          Carry on and swallow hard my friend. And may that heartache never fade.

          (BTW - when they say it's a tough job, it's not just a jingle, is it?}
          JG
          The All New
          2013
          BBQ and Goldfish Pond Club
          Sully - IAM Rand - JasperST - L1 - The Tick - EmmaPeel - Columbus - LA Dep - SgtSlaughter - OneAdam12 - Retired96 - Iowa #1603
          - M1Garand

          (any BBQ and Goldfish Pond member may nominate another user for membership but just remember ..... this ain't no weenie roast!)



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          • #6
            Last Saturday during a narcotics investigation we followed our suspect when he took our CI from one location to another. They vistited two different locations and both times the suspect took his 3 year old son on the buys. Man its gonna feel good to bust his ***. The second purchase we have them on audio lighting up and you could hear his little boy in the background crying and wanting to go home. My partner and I were heartbroken both of us are fathers and we wanted to blow everything and kick his ***. I cant wait to make the call to CPS on this turd. I think about it more and more especially now that I have a newborn in the house. After 5 years I still cant figure it out. When I work patrol I keep stickers in my car and I always stop and talk to the kids in my town.To me its just as if not more important than working traffic and taking someone to jail.
            Thus the wise win before the fight, while the ignorant fight to win

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            • #7
              Thing that annoys me in my town is seeing little 9 year old kids walking the streets by themselves at 9:00 at night.

              Then there are those kids that constantly get in trouble with everyone, including the law. But you have to wonder why.....this is one reason:

              I've had basically a non-present father. He stopped paying child support for my brother when he was 12, and stopped paying mine when I was 14. My mom has done everything for us. My brother used to live with my dad (hence why no child support) and was on anti-depressants pretty much ready to kill himself. My dad treated him like s.hit and as a result, my brother got himself into a lot of trouble. My brother moved back in with us when he was 20. Within 6 months he didn't need the anti-depressants anymore and he was really happy. I'd say with my dad we always get the short end of the stick, while my step-sister gets everything she wants and she was 10x worse than my brother ever was. My dad used to blame his marriage troubles on my brother and always say that he was a screw up and would never amount to anything. Well now my brother is an apprentice mechanic and is on his way to making some good money. He is a father now and his son is his #1 priority, like it should be.

              My mom has always been the constant support for us, from buying me a horse so that I could live my dream, to sending me to Europe, which cost over $2000 the way that I did it. My dad didn't contribute one cent to either.

              But anyways.....I dunno, in those kinds of cases, it is USUALLY the dad that is non-present which presents a problem. But there are cases where the mother is a complete idiot. Let's take my neice for example. She's not really my neice but I have known her since she was 2. Her mom is my age, the kid already has about seven cavities and some of her teeth are even rotting. She gets diseases and her mom doesn't take her to the doctor, she leaves that for my sister and her boyfriend to find out and finally take her to see one. Unfortunately, the battle that they have been fighting for so long with in court is probably going to get thrown out as my sister's boyfriend is recently battling a drug habit. It's just not good.....so, well, it goes both ways. There are good parents, and then there are ones that definitely should NOT breed.
              Never argue with idiots - they just drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

              Chaos, Panic and Disorder....my work here is done!

              As her tears fell at his feet, she didn't say "I Love You," what she said meant even more: I laugh, I love, I hope, I tried. I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry and I know you do the same things too. So we're really not that different, me and you.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Lexis85
                Thing that annoys me in my town is seeing little 9 year old kids walking the streets by themselves at 9:00 at night.

                Then there are those kids that constantly get in trouble with everyone, including the law. But you have to wonder why.....this is one reason:

                I've had basically a non-present father. He stopped paying child support for my brother when he was 12, and stopped paying mine when I was 14. My mom has done everything for us. My brother used to live with my dad (hence why no child support) and was on anti-depressants pretty much ready to kill himself. My dad treated him like s.hit and as a result, my brother got himself into a lot of trouble. My brother moved back in with us when he was 20. Within 6 months he didn't need the anti-depressants anymore and he was really happy. I'd say with my dad we always get the short end of the stick, while my step-sister gets everything she wants and she was 10x worse than my brother ever was. My dad used to blame his marriage troubles on my brother and always say that he was a screw up and would never amount to anything. Well now my brother is an apprentice mechanic and is on his way to making some good money. He is a father now and his son is his #1 priority, like it should be.

                My mom has always been the constant support for us, from buying me a horse so that I could live my dream, to sending me to Europe, which cost over $2000 the way that I did it. My dad didn't contribute one cent to either.

                But anyways.....I dunno, in those kinds of cases, it is USUALLY the dad that is non-present which presents a problem. But there are cases where the mother is a complete idiot. Let's take my neice for example. She's not really my neice but I have known her since she was 2. Her mom is my age, the kid already has about seven cavities and some of her teeth are even rotting. She gets diseases and her mom doesn't take her to the doctor, she leaves that for my sister and her boyfriend to find out and finally take her to see one. Unfortunately, the battle that they have been fighting for so long with in court is probably going to get thrown out as my sister's boyfriend is recently battling a drug habit. It's just not good.....so, well, it goes both ways. There are good parents, and then there are ones that definitely should NOT breed.
                In a lot of cases it is the father who abandons the family, but I think in a lot of homes the mother is just as much the problem, being negligent and verbally or physically abusive. I think broken families are no doubt the main factor that contributes the continuence of crime and drug abuse in the country and the world. All people need is someone that cares for them and they can depend on when the going gets rough. Unfortunately a lot of kids don't have that person in their life, so they turn to the alternatives for comfort. It sucks and honestly it almost angers me when I see a woman pregnant when I know she doesn't have the means to be a good parent and won't have that good home environment ready for the child. I have the best family and I guess it just sucks that every innocent life brought into this world can't have that.

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                • #9
                  Yeah, I was just blessed with a loving mother who would do absolutely anything for both me and my brother. She's helped us with our debts, she incurred another debt in her name so I could get my car, she's just always there for us. And for me, that's all I need. All I seem to need is my mother. My father, well I see him maybe twice out of a 3 or 4 month block and I'm happy with that.
                  Never argue with idiots - they just drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

                  Chaos, Panic and Disorder....my work here is done!

                  As her tears fell at his feet, she didn't say "I Love You," what she said meant even more: I laugh, I love, I hope, I tried. I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry and I know you do the same things too. So we're really not that different, me and you.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    My folks were divorced, however, my old man made sure his presence was known and always kept tabs on us. There was never a dull moment as he made sure to be in our lives.

                    In seeing what you write, it is gut wrenching to know that children with these conditions exists. My aunt who is a foster mother would take in kids who were in living conditions that I couldn't begin to understand how they were there or living in the first place. Needless to say, it is all about how love and how you treat children. I still don't know how my aunt does it but from what I see and like you said, it takes its toll on her and anyone who sees this on a daily basis.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I just want to say thank you to officers for what you do for those beautiful children out there in the world. I see you holding them , giving them bears, feeding them, talking to them about being a officer one day, most of all I see you caring in terrible situations..Thank you

                      I am a Domestic Violence/ Sexual Assault counselor.. I have seen the worst of worst..

                      Thanks for caring and the things that you do and no one sees.

                      God Bless you..

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I find that just stopping for a minute and giving them a badge sticker really helps them alot. You would be surprised too that they will remember you for a long time just because of a sticker and the time you took to throw the football to them or something nice.

                        My department is a small university department but we have family housing here and I make it a point, when I am on day shift, to stop at family housing and give out stickers as much as I can. Its always a good time to get in their football games too if possible.

                        Be safe.
                        Be Advised!!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Children.

                          Pujols Fan, and Magic Man,and everyone, great posts, great thoughts. You Guys are what make cops special. The fact that you took the time to care, to put your kid's faces on the ones you saw, speaks volumes. The day we quit caring, quit hoping, quit giving a damn, is the day I don't want to be around. Keep making a difference Guys, and stay safe.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I recall getting "hit, right in the heart" when I was a single guy with zero intentions (and chances, for that matter) of getting married.

                            My dad died when I was 13. I had been a Catholic Big Brother when I was a college kid, and for a couple of years after getting hired with the PD. Although I have always had a place in my heart for kids, it was a Christmas morning. I was in an apartment where there was/were no toy(s) for a young boy, but lots of empty beer cans in the trash can of the play-daddy.

                            My wife and kids know that dad is always going to be exceding the expectations/requirements of whichever Christmas giving programs we're involved in.

                            After 30 years (note: I first typed tears), I know that I ache a llittle less for these kids, because I focus on the good things I've been a part of, and the good things I've seen.
                            "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                            Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                            Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by pujolsfan146 View Post
                              Unfortunately while on patrol all of us run across kids who have parents that could care less about them. I can't count the number of times I have driven through trailer parks and see really young kids out on bikes, filthy, no shoes, a defeated look on their young faces and with an apparent lack of supervision.
                              When I see these kids it kills me. I wonder if their parents really care for them. If their dads play with with them and raise them or do those awesome father son things.
                              The problem I am having is everytime I see these kids I put my sons face on them and it ruins my day. I think of how horrible it would be if someone were to treat my boy like they treat their own kids and the thought is devastating.
                              I guess the point is I am wondering if I am losing my freaking mind. I try not to dwell on such things but I guess it is inevitable.
                              Pujo, what can everyday citizens do to help these kids? Would it be just smiling and trying to chat with them, or play with them? I live in a neighborhood kind of like the one your describing. I see the sad, hopeless look on the kids faces also. I've always wondered what I can do to help.

                              Many times I just walk by because sooner or later their mean, nasty mom or moma's boyfriend comes out and just glares. You know what I mean? Well, there is probably something that I can do irregardless of them. I see cps here sometimes, hear the yelling and screaming from the adult fights.

                              What could I do to put a smile on their faces? I was watching Oprah and she was talking about people mentoring young people. I don't think I could ever do that though since I have a record. However, she also said that it could be whatever we can do.

                              Thanks

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