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Girlfriend is Traveling thru Europe with College Friends...and Ex

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  • #16
    My first wife went "home" to Illinois to attend her ten year HS reunion. We could not afford to go together, so I stayed home with our son. She ended up banging her HS crush. My history is not your destiny...BUT, you already said you have concerns.

    Sounds, to me, like TRUST IS GONE.

    I can't fathom ANY party to a relationship leaving for TWO effing weeks with an ex- in the travel group, to another city, state, let alone continent.

    Unless she can suck a tennis ball through a 3/4 inch garden hose, and that's the only thing you care about - I would as other have said, pack her stuff, put it in storage, change your locks and call it off. I would also get some small cameras and place them strategically about your place - to catch any confrontations - more importantly LACK of confrontations which might take place there.
    "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

    Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

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    • #17
      Brother, I don’t need to know either one of you to know that she’s getting the D from this guy. Chalk it up, don’t let your ego get the best of you, and keep it moving.

      You absolutely don’t need the confrontation or the mere allegation of a DV type scenario.

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      • #18
        I apologize if my reply is beating a dead horse. I also don't want to cause you more stress or anxiety over it, but I just know from experience that when your significant other hangs out with ex's, nothing good comes from it. I really don't know that there's any such thing as innocently hanging out with your ex. My wife and I both know better than to even put ourselves in a situation like that. You better believe that if I got to spend a month anywhere in the world that I want with friends or even with my wife there, if my ex is there, I just flat-out ain't going.

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        • #19
          This trip has been over for some time...what was the outcome, OP?
          "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

          Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

          Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
            This trip has been over for some time...what was the outcome, OP?

            OP has ghosted O.com. Hasn't posted anything in two months.

            We can always come up with possible outcomes, can we not? Here's mine:

            OP confronted girlfriend about what happened in Europe. After a week of initial denials, she eventually admitted 'some things happened', but deferred on the details. Girlfriend says she was confused during trip but since has decided OP is her one and only. OP and girlfriend were married the next week by a justice of the peace and honeymooned for a week in Europe, of all places.
            One day, lad, this will all be yours.

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            • #21
              I don't get why people even go to Europe anyways. It's old and boring. yuck.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by TUNEDNIMPORTED View Post
                I don't get why people even go to Europe anyways. It's old and boring. yuck.
                Spoken like an American who has never left his home country...

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                • J2H
                  J2H commented
                  Editing a comment
                  I went when on Active Duty... I wasn't impressed, but I live and breathe Murica... I don't like getting other peoples' cultures.

              • #23
                Originally posted by Ratatatat View Post
                OP confronted girlfriend about what happened in Europe. After a week of initial denials, she eventually admitted 'some things happened', but deferred on the details. Girlfriend says she was confused during trip but since has decided OP is her one and only. OP and girlfriend were married the next week by a justice of the peace and honeymooned for a week in Europe, of all places.
                Then she was kidnapped by shady Russian gangster types and was held in a 17th century castle in rural eastern Germany. They demanded 1 million Euros for her release. With no gun, with no local resources, the OP had to act quickly, so he...

                All other Officer.com members are welcome to contribute to this story!

                "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

                Comment


                • PeteBroccolo
                  PeteBroccolo commented
                  Editing a comment
                  ...decided to stay home, get drunk, and see how it plays out. (see my further quote below)

              • #24
                Originally posted by wildlife97 View Post
                My girlfriend of 3 years (we're in our late 20s) is currently in Europe on a two week trip with some college friends...including her college ex of 3 years. Now I've never had any reason to not trust her but I am freaking out over this. Last summer she went on a weekend sailing trip with the same group of her friends and her ex was there, when she got back she admitted at some point that her ex was obviously still in love with her and laughed it off. Am I wrong to be freaking out over this? The reason he's there is basically because he's best friends with one of the friends and a good friend of one of the others.

                When she gets back I want to ask her if anything happened but I am sure it'll go down the "do you not trust me?" route.
                Find a nice rent-a-space storage unit, move her things into it, take before-and-after photos of your place and the locker, either change the locks to your place, or move, and e-mail the photos to her with instructions as to how to access the storage unit and how long you have paid the rent on it - NOW!
                #32936 - Royal Canadian Mounted Police - 1975-10-27 / 2010-12-29
                Proud Dad of #54266 - RCMP - 2007-02-12 to date
                RCMP Veterans Association - Regina Division member
                Mounted Police Professional Association of Canada - Associate (Retired) member
                "Smile" - no!

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                • #25
                  OP never came back to this thread, and the trip is looong over, so all of this is moot anyway.

                  That being said, I'm amazed at all the comments suggesting that he move her stuff out in her absence and change the locks. Nowhere did the OP state that they were living together...but if they do share a home then he sure AF can't just prevent her from returning to what is also HER residence (regardless of who legally owns/rents it or pays the bills). Maybe it's different where you all are from, but in most states he'd have to go through a formal eviction process if he wants her to move out (and if simply communicating like adults didn't work).

                  What's next? Throw your wife's stuff out while she's at the grocery store? Change the locks while your roommate is outside getting the mail?

                  Comment


                  • westside popo
                    westside popo commented
                    Editing a comment
                    That's the way it is here. I would suggest he moves out and leave all of her stuff there. Any utilities in his name could be turned off or cancelled.

                • #26
                  Originally posted by not.in.MY.town View Post

                  What's next? Throw your wife's stuff out while she's at the grocery store? Change the locks while your roommate is outside getting the mail?
                  GREAT IDEA!!!

                  Thanks Bro!

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                  • #27
                    As long as we’re theorizing about the outcome....... Since he hasn’t resurfaced on the site and the trip is over, has anyone thought to look for fresh graves in the back yard?

                    Comment

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