Holidays Alone

[shortyj]

So I work night shifts and since Im newer I obviously am working all the holidays (which is fine because who doesn’t like double time and a half). The good thing about working nights though is that you can take a quick nap and then you pretty much have the whole day still.

My significant other plans on going to their family’s house which is 5hours away for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Im a bit bothered by this because it leaves me home alone for both holidays. Is it selfish of them to be going home or am I being selfish by wanting them to stay here with me?

[J2H]

You're being selfish... let them go home and enjoy the holidays. I've worked them (I actually prefer working holidays) and if my wife wanted to go visit family I would let her.

[not.in.MY.town]

So I work night shifts and since Im newer I obviously am working all the holidays (which is fine because who doesn’t like double time and a half). The good thing about working nights though is that you can take a quick nap and then you pretty much have the whole day still.

My significant other plans on going to their family’s house which is 5hours away for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Im a bit bothered by this because it leaves me home alone for both holidays. Is it selfish of them to be going home or am I being selfish by wanting them to stay here with me?

Welcome to life as a cop! Working holidays and missing family gatherings and social functions unfortunately is part of the deal.

I understand you not wanting to be alone for the holidays. It sucks. But at the same time you can't expect your significant other and their family to make unreasonable sacrifices or be inconvenienced because of the career you chose. They didn't sign up for it (unless the job decision was made as a family).

Rather than feeling sorry for yourself maybe you should be glad that your significant other has somewhere to go for the holidays and be surrounded by family? Before my wife passed my biggest worry was that she and our children would be sitting home without me and not enjoying themselves. So rather than feeling bad for myself I'd encourage them to spend the day with family/friends and make the most of it. We'd always pick a day close to the holiday that I was off...and we'd have a full-blown family celebration with the big meal, gifts, traditions etc then. That way I was rested and could relax without having to worry about going to work that night. Granted, a couple of times even those plans were screwed up by a work emergency...but for the most part it worked out well.

I suggest you let your s/o enjoy their time with their family...and plan a special day with them before or after Thanksgiving and Christmas.

[thebigsnapple]

Stop sleeping at work.

[not.in.MY.town]

Stop sleeping at work.

Joke?

[Iowa #1603]

So I work night shifts and since Im newer I obviously am working all the holidays (which is fine because who doesn’t like double time and a half). The good thing about working nights though is that you can take a quick nap and then you pretty much have the whole day still.

My significant other plans on going to their family’s house which is 5hours away for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Im a bit bothered by this because it leaves me home alone for both holidays. Is it selfish of them to be going home or am I being selfish by wanting them to stay here with me?

The wife and kids went to grandma's house several times by themselves (it was only 2 hours away ) when my schedule didn't mesh.

We also had times where it wasn't possible and we had "Christmas" in January or even February with MY side of the family (4 hours away)

[shortyj]

Welcome to life as a cop! Working holidays and missing family gatherings and social functions unfortunately is part of the deal.

I understand you not wanting to be alone for the holidays. It sucks. But at the same time you can't expect your significant other and their family to make unreasonable sacrifices or be inconvenienced because of the career you chose. They didn't sign up for it (unless the job decision was made as a family).

Rather than feeling sorry for yourself maybe you should be glad that your significant other has somewhere to go for the holidays and be surrounded by family? Before my wife passed my biggest worry was that she and our children would be sitting home without me and not enjoying themselves. So rather than feeling bad for myself I'd encourage them to spend the day with family/friends and make the most of it. We'd always pick a day close to the holiday that I was off...and we'd have a full-blown family celebration with the big meal, gifts, traditions etc then. That way I was rested and could relax without having to worry about going to work that night. Granted, a couple of times even those plans were screwed up by a work emergency...but for the most part it worked out well.

I suggest you let your s/o enjoy their time with their family...and plan a special day with them before or after Thanksgiving and Christmas.

You’re right! And Im sorry for the loss of your wife, Im sure that was difficult to go through. I definitely want my significant other to have fun! And I signed up for this job, but I guess I never really thought Id be alone? No biggie, I suppose Ill get used to it. I like the people I work with so itll be nice to be with them while I work the holidays. And like Iowa said, we could always celebrate other days instead :-)

[TMS216]

That's the job. You can't expect them to sit home and wait for you. I missed my daughter's first birthday. I spent my wedding anniversary with a methed out thug instead of my wife.
Let them do their own thing and remove the idea that a holiday is a specific day. Last year my Thanksgiving was on a Sunday, so my family got to celebrate twice. The trade off is you sacrifice, get that time and a half and provide a nice living for your wife and kids and that in itself is the ultimate reward more than a holiday dinner and gifts under a tree.
And look at I like this, your family may be 5 hours away, but wherever that is, they are being kept safe by some other officer missing out on his family time.

[shortyj]

That's the job. You can't expect them to sit home and wait for you. I missed my daughter's first birthday. I spent my wedding anniversary with a methed out thug instead of my wife.
Let them do their own thing and remove the idea that a holiday is a specific day. Last year my Thanksgiving was on a Sunday, so my family got to celebrate twice. The trade off is you sacrifice, get that time and a half and provide a nice living for your wife and kids and that in itself is the ultimate reward more than a holiday dinner and gifts under a tree.
And look at I like this, your family may be 5 hours away, but wherever that is, they are being kept safe by some other officer missing out on his family time.

My personal family is about 40min away. I know all about spending time with “thugs”. I work in a nasty part of philly. I dont have kids and Im not married yet but I suppose Ill buy myself something nice for chirstmas this year with my overtime money? Haha. :-)

[TMS216]

My personal family is about 40min away. I know all about spending time with “thugs”. I work in a nasty part of philly. I dont have kids and Im not married yet but I suppose Ill buy myself something nice for chirstmas this year with my overtime money? Haha. :-)

There you go, save up and by the time you have the wife and kids your house and car can be paid for.
While I did have Christmas off last year I worked Christmas eve where a very "nice" schizophrenic Sureno hoped me and my family had a nice Christmas.

[DeaconSteve]

I wish my in-laws lived only 5 hours away, instead they live 13 hours away, plum near Niagara Falls, which is where I'll be headed in December.

[IAM Rand]

My in-laws and family live close by but, there have been many holidays and birthdays that I slept through them because I was on graves. Buck up camper, if you are getting hurt because of that then it is going to be a short marriage. Chill and enjoy the alone time.

[not.in.MY.town]

My in-laws and family live close by but, there have been many holidays and birthdays that I slept through them because I was on graves. Buck up camper, if you are getting hurt because of that then it is going to be a short marriage. Chill and enjoy the alone time.

Yup. Netflix and chill with yourself.

[not.in.MY.town]

My personal family is about 40min away. I know all about spending time with “thugs”. I work in a nasty part of philly. I dont have kids and Im not married yet but I suppose Ill buy myself something nice for chirstmas this year with my overtime money? Haha. :-)

If your family is so close, why don't you spend (part of) the day with them??

[HI629]

So I work night shifts and since Im newer I obviously am working all the holidays (which is fine because who doesn’t like double time and a half). The good thing about working nights though is that you can take a quick nap and then you pretty much have the whole day still.

My significant other plans on going to their family’s house which is 5hours away for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Im a bit bothered by this because it leaves me home alone for both holidays. Is it selfish of them to be going home or am I being selfish by wanting them to stay here with me?

Time to find a “beat wife” to TCOB. All kidding aside, I’d be happy if my family were able to go home and be with other family during the holidays if I had to work ‘um. I actually enjoy working holidays. Then again, all of my co-workers think I’m a strange character. Do admit, I am quite original. ;-) Be happy that your family is with loved ones and enjoy the extra cash you’ll be getting.

Hope you get this figured out.