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    Edited message
    Last edited by chapmanp1; 05-17-2017, 12:43 PM.

  • #2
    Tell her it's a two way street. Tell her she can **** off while you do what you want to do as its YOUR LIFE. Tell the bitch to grow the **** up.
    tell her that once SHE pulls her weight, she can have a say.
    Now go home and get your shine box!

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    • #3
      What's her boyfriend like?
      Getting shot hurts! Don't under estimate the power of live ammo. A .22LR can kill you! I personally feel that it's best to avoid being shot by any caliber. Your vest may stop the bullet, but you'll still get a nice bruise or other injury to remember the experience.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by HI629 View Post
        What's her boyfriend like?
        Lol. I thought about that. I've tried some of my dirty cop interviewing tricks, and I don't think she's having an affair. Maybe she is, and I just suck at interviewing.

        CCCSD, that is one of the big issues. She makes more money than I do. Believe me, she reminds me of that as well.

        I'm about to send her to a counselor like Don Draper in Mad Men!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by chapmanp1 View Post

          Anyone else dealt with this before?
          As an Investigator and supervisor I've seen more than my share, many escalated to DV and negatively affected careers.



          Last edited by BTDT2; 10-20-2016, 02:47 PM. Reason: Edited as per request of case in point participant.

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          • #6
            DUDE. First, start carrying off duty, 100% of the time! Second, honor your marriage vows. You married the little lady, now do what it takes to have a happy marriage....COMPROMISE. Fix this in short order or you will end up choosing between your marriage and your career, and if one goes away, the remaining one will be left wanting. Just my two cents.

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            • #7
              In my opinion a change of location is not going to change anything. You need to decide whether you want to be a cop or whether you want to remain married to her, because she is not up for both. You need to do some soul searching and have a come-to-Jesus meeting with your wife. If the marriage isn't salvageable, get out before she gets more of your pension.

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              • #8
                I hate to say it, but it sounds like no matter what you do or how many sacrifices you make, your wife will never be satisfied. She will always be finding fault with you, and will continuously demand that you make career, lifestyle and residential changes until one of you says "enough" and calls it quits, or she finds someone else.

                In the end I foresee divorce, with you having no career left and dismal prospects for a future, having made so many moves that you were never able to establish job roots, seniority or pension vesting at a single employer.

                I would sit down with your wife and have a serious Come to Jesus talk with her. If you can't reach a mutually agreed resolution, as Just Joe said, I would consider calling it quits before she gets too much of your pension.
                Going too far is half the pleasure of not getting anywhere

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                • #9
                  Get an attorney. Serve her. Walk away.
                  Now go home and get your shine box!

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                  • #10
                    I was glad my wife supported, nay, demanded that I get into LE. She knew it was something I wanted to do but just wouldn't apply to because of different things, and in the end she finally talked me into it.
                    Former Police Officer (Injured LOD)
                    USAF VETERAN 2004-2012
                    "The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day."-LTC Grossman
                    Emergency Services Dispatcher, APG MD

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by CCCSD View Post
                      Get an attorney. Serve her. Walk away.
                      This man. Life it to short to spend it with a woman that you've described. What kind of insensitive person calls you hammered while your at a scene of a murder to complain about you? I've learned life is to short to spend with someone who makes it way to difficult. Get out NOW while you have no kids.

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                      • #12
                        Sounds like she's never really been totally happy. Every place that she has wanted to move to, hasn't made her content. You've bent over backwards far enough. Move on before it really starts to impact your work life

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                        • #13
                          I think this is a story that repeats itself with police officers across the world. In my opinion, troubled relationships never get better but I'm not married so I'm not sure if that makes a difference. Do you want to run the risk of handing over half your stuff plus some pension in a few years time?

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                          • #14
                            As has been said here in some not so polite terms, you need to choose between her or the job. Can you see yourself in something other than law enforcement. I can tell you one thing, if you move back to where ever she wants and change jobs to please here you could wind up regretting it. She may still leave you anyway when she gets back to her old stomping grounds.

                            Start with counseling then see where it goes. If she is willing and you feel good about the sessions then make the move back. I would just hate for you to give up so much and then have her dump you anyway. There is something more going on there. She is not being honest with you. If she really loved you she would sit down with you and find ways to make it work.

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                            • #15
                              It seems the real problem with her it's not the location where she's living, or the family, or you for that matter. There is another deeper problem that she still doesn't know what it is. I had that feeling before and always blamed the places where I lived, or the people, or the public transportation, the weather, my parents, etc (I lived in different continents and I'm still young).

                              She's just venting it seems, but unknowingly she's destroying everything around.
                              The solution is not easy, she needs to understand her real problem and must pinpoint that (career, social life with friends, existential questions). There's little you can do with your limited time, simply because probably you're not the cause of the problem.

                              I suggest you continue doing your dream job, as I stated above the problem must be solved by her and if she can't she might leave you thinking that's the solution, and you will be left without a career and without her.

                              These are my two cents before taxes, I'm no expert in relationships, this is your and only your decision.

                              Cheers

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