Parents who don't want you to be a cop

[letshearit4blue]

I know this is a bit vague, but any advice on how to deal with a parent who doesn't want you to be a cop? Especially when you're living with them...
My mother is just rather paranoid and thinks I'm going to get shot everytime I go out the door in uniform (and I'm just an Explorer right now), which wasn't helped much when a kid did pull what appeared to be a firearm on me off-duty (he now claims it was airsoft).
So now I don't talk to her about any of it because whenever something she thinks is bad happens I get more and more restrictions on what I can do on-duty as well as on my own.
Any advice??

[Bodie]

Grow Frick'n UP

Since you have to be 21 to be a cop you can cut mama's apron strings and grow up. God if you can't do that you have no business being a cop.
It takes a man to be a law enforcment officer not a frick'n mommas boy !!!

[letshearit4blue]

Spoken in true Bodie style. Thanks.

[Isla_]

letshearit4blue, I feel your pain. Though I am loooong past my explorer days, I wrestled with the fact that my Mom was worried I would get shot or what not anytime I went near the PD. You both are at interesting stages in your life, you are testing your independence and she is having to give up some of her authority, realizing that you are on your way to becoming an adult. The desire to not hurt or offend your mom shows that you love and respect her and the fact that she gave up much of her adult life to see you safe and happy. There was alot of tension between my mom and I for the first couple months, (the argument that I could get killed walking down the street kinda backfired, I wouldn't use it if I were you!) I didn't really talk to her about what I was doing because she wasn't interested, but I did remind her from time to time that I was being trained on how to not become a victim by being an explorer. She was okay with it after a while, not happy, but okay.

[squad51]

Ok you are what like 15???? Maybe chill out a bit with the LE stuff until you are a bit older..be content to do you r explorer stuff...read books and watch cops...don't hang around people that are going to pull guns on you.

[Bodie]

Girl or Guy we can't judge by the avatar. If it's real Momma's boy the vavatar fits perfectly but even for a woman wanting to be a cop she has to grow some balls.

[UA2k1GT]

if you're old enough to be hired, it might be time to move out on your own. Be able to show your parents you can take care of yourself.

It was a year and a half ago (I was 24, living on my own) I starting thinking about persuing a career in LE again. However when I told my parents I thought about applying with the troopers and some local departments, they tried to talk me out of it, because it was dangerous, low pay, blah blah blah.

Well my father served 29 years in the Army and then worked until he retired again with the Provost Marshall as armed security on the local Army base.

Anyhow, I was somewhat discouraged and put everything off to think about it more. Things were changing at my current job at the bank, so I wanted to see how they were going to pan out.

I finally decided back in January I was going to do this, that I was physically and mentally ready for it, and nothing was going to stop me. So I started going through the process and doing quite well I might add. I finally informed my parents of my decision when I turned in my background questionnaire, just in case the BI would call them. Two weeks later I was offered a job.

I told them not to interrupt me or argue with me while I was explaining what I had been doing and why. Once I told them how I really felt about the job, why I wanted to do this, they understood. They know it is dangerous, but they also know and respect that this is something I have wanted for a long time, and since I couldn't join this Army, this was my way of serving my country, getting out of the greedy banking industry and doing something that actually means something and makes a difference.

Parents are always going to worry about you. That is their job. But there comes a point where you and your parents have to realize it is your life and you have to make your own decisions and do what makes YOU happy, not them.

On a side note, Monday is my first day at the PD, and my parents are as happy,proud and supportive as they have ever been.

Sorry for the long post.

[letshearit4blue]

don't hang around people that are going to pull guns on you.

Believe me, I don't. I was just biking along, minding my own business and the freak comes up to me.

[letshearit4blue]

OK thanks everybody for your advice.

Whenever she starts complaining about how I want to be a police officer, I just tell her ok, I'll go join the Marines instead. That seems to quiet her down.

[Luke]

You haven't answered the question whether you are a momma's boy or girl???!!!

[letshearit4blue]

You haven't answered the question whether you are a momma's boy or girl???!!!

Oh, my bad. Gal.

[CPDZone9]

I went through the same thing with my mother. She never liked cops, & HATED the fact that I wanted to be one...for YEARS. Because of that & other issues (but that was one of the main 2), we ended up not SPEAKing for about 6 months. I'm still dream-chasing, but she accepts it now. It gets to a point where when as a parent, you have to realize when you're pushing your child away by disparagingly discouraging him/her from doing what's going to make him/her happy, just because it's not what YOU want him/her to do.

And she finally realized that. And we're a lot better off now.

[Spee-Dee]

Ding ding ding, a winner. Now, go sprinkle some Ball-Gro on you as per Bodie's advice.



Nothing like pure unconditional parental love by guilt. S'ok, when you start interviewing to be an LEO and they ask you the Q if you'd give your own mother a ticket, you can tell the truth and say yes.

What's the correct answer for that? Is it an automatical yes or do you use that thing that involves using your judgement to decide if giving a ticket is really necessary? Or is it a trick question in which the answer is no and if you say yes the interviewer will accuse you of being a bad child for ticketing the person who suffered through childbirth just so you could have such an opportunity.

[BrickCop]

Wait a second did I read your post correctly? Your Mommy restricts "your duty"? Is she also your Sergeant?

I agree 100% with Bodie- move out and pursue your career. If Mommy does not like it it's TS for Mommy.

With all due respect, when I read posts like these I seriously question if folks like this are (or will ever be) mature enough to handle the rigors of LE.

[Zeichnete]

my mother doesnt want me to be a cop either, claiming that i am going to get killed, and here is one thing i say, you cant live your life being afraid of dieing or thinking you are going to die. Now you and i may not be in the exact same situation, another reason my parents dont want me to be a cop is because they are mennonites and they believe war is wrong, and that my being a cop and the probability that i might have to shoot or kill somebody is wrong. But dont let it get to you, in my situation i think of it like this, it would be worse to let some crazed person harm or kill another. When i become a cop if someone is threating my life, the life of a fellow officer or the life of the public i will be sworn to protect i am not going to stand by and do nothing. Do what i do, dont let it get to you, if your family loves you they will support you, they will still worry but they should support you. Like i mentioned before, if i ever have to kill anyone my mother will basicly want nothing more to do with me. That doesnt deter me one bit. Take some time think it over, if this is really what you feel called to do, then do it, dont let anyone stop you.