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  • #16
    When I worked the road I did not eat breakfast... and lunch was whatever restaurant I stopped at. Dinner was ALWAYS homecooked by the g/f (now fiancee).

    As an SRO, I usually grab 2 granola bars for breakfast, packed a lunch (either a sammich or leftovers), and had another homecoooked meal for dinner.

    Not sure what my next assignment will be like.. lol
    The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed.

    I Am the Sheepdog.


    "And maybe just remind the few, if ill of us they speak,
    that we are all that stands between
    the monsters and the weak." - Michael Marks


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    • #17
      Originally posted by chapwolfe View Post
      I think you'll find that most cops don't "eat healthy." I have something of an advantage in that I go home for lunch everyday. I have to be in the patrol vehicle at 6am. I almost always have 3 eggo waffles for breakfast. For lunch, generally something I can microwave in under 5 minutes which means it comes out of a can or out of the freezer. During the summer I'll have cold sandwiches. I get an hour for lunch, so I set a timer and when I finish lunch, I sleep for what time is left. My wife and I get home at 6 pm, so supper can be anything from a crockpot roast to take out chicken strips to chinese to "artificial mexican" -- anything quick and easy. Then to bed by 9 -- and Tums by midnight.
      Not bad! Not bad at all. You even get a nap everyday! How lucky!

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      • #18
        Originally posted by jchughes05 View Post
        When I worked the road I did not eat breakfast... and lunch was whatever restaurant I stopped at. Dinner was ALWAYS homecooked by the g/f (now fiancee).
        Granola bars? Not sure. I think he had something like that this Morning~~~He surely got it that I am obsessed with talking about that, so he IS making some progress......at least he is eating something in the morning. It will take time. I guess text information like "cereal+fruits+liquids+protein" does not make real sense to him. Caffeine and calories are all what he consumes in a typical day. He probably has already adjusted to that as the stress level maintains-unhealthy balance achieved! To break that and re-establish a fresh one? It is tough and could be painful. He doesn't get the idea of what "insulin resistance" means if he doesn't eat proper breakfast!
        Well now I figure out odd schedule, work-related physical risks, and horrible lifestyle are the three major things to deal with. My poor little CPU is working on that.
        Haven't started serious conversation yet. I tried to tho. He just has this capacity to stray from the point and talk funny nonsense, which makes me laugh and then I forget! I was planning to give him some examples of what quality protein rich foods are and some convenient choices for fiber+fruits this morning. However he talked about he is coming to "see you and kiss you"! That disturbed the whole planned rhythm of the conversation.
        He is very quiet in the evenings. I hope that's just because he is tired and going to sleep early. He said he doesn't like bars and feels "cop bunny" "strange".
        I would want to cook him dinner and pack him home-cooked lunch...these are the highest luxury! He enjoys anything I cooked for him when he visited.
        Last edited by mj; 11-18-2014, 03:46 PM.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by mj View Post
          Not bad! Not bad at all. You even get a nap everyday! How lucky!
          Well, not every day... didn't get one today. Lunch got interrupted by having to go do an unlock. Some days I get 10 minutes, others as much as 30. When you only get 5 1/2 hours or so at night, a power nap really helps.
          Officer Jay McGuire, Minneapolis Park Police EOW 5/14/2009 age 11
          Among Texas' finest
          Deputy Andy Taylor, Llano County SO EOW 5/9/2005
          Senior Deputy Jessica Laura Hollis, Travis County SO EOW 9/18/2014
          Darren H. Goforth, Harris County SO EOW 8/28/2015

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          • #20
            Originally posted by mj View Post
            Good suggestion! Getting to know him as a person! I guess there is part of him that would want to hold some of the features of his job from being learnt/known by me at this stage. I just had this feeling. He does not want me to know more. First time he emailed me to introduce himself-he told me that he "supervise" a shift of police officers (did not say "I am a police officer/sergeant" or anything like that). Also when it comes to his working schedule, he said "I currently work a 1040 shift means that I work 5 days and have 4 day weekends". Sly!
            As I am taking it slow and observing him, I am not blaming him for not giving me much details of his work. I see this as a protection that he wanted to put on me. I think I am independent enough to spend time alone. Just worry about the health issues that might come along with the long hours/his lifestyle. This arrangement is totally unhealthy. Does your husband eat decent breakfast and lunch? How do most cops handle their meals when they are at work. I think this issue is even bigger than long shift/overtime itself.
            Have you heard of badge bunny (just learnt this yesterday-so scaring! I sent him the link-he said he didnt have time yet to look at it! and cop bars!) Gosh! I wish I knew all these before I fell for him!
            When he was introducing himself, he was being circumspect about what he does for a living to keep HIMSELF safe. It's very common, as it's difficult to know who might use such information against them - especially when 'meeting' someone via the internet.

            I must say, I'm a bit concerned that you're barely dating, and already trying to change his habits...you might want to back off on that. He's an adult. Nagging (or 'frequently reminding') him about eating, even when you really have his best interests at heart and are an expert on the subject matter, is generally not a good thing to do. As women, we might really appreciate it if a friend or our partner did that; we'd likely see it as helping and holding us accountable. But in my experience, men don't see it that way. Just let him know you'd love to help if he's ever interested, and leave it at that. It needs to be his choice. And if him consistently eating healthy is extremely important to you, you should probably choose someone who already does that of their own accord.

            I pay almost NO attention to what my husband eats. Then again, I chose a person who values fitness and makes mostly decent choices nutrition-wise to begin with, as those are kind of important to me. I do cook at least 2-3 times a week, so there's usually something at least borderline healthy available (stir-fry, crockpot roast, chili, chicken korma, etc), even if it needs re-heating.

            Badge bunnies are women who are into cops because they're cops. They don't give much regard to the real person who wears it...it's more about hooking up with a cop. As for cop bars, I think that probably depends on the person and where they work. Other members can probably give better info on that one.

            Hope this helps

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            • #21
              Yes that does help. I read through carefully and thank you for your time and suggestion!

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              • #22
                Originally posted by TheTick
                If you don't mind, how old are you?

                If you can't tell your friends or parents that you are dating a cop, then I doubt that you are in a proper place in your own life to handle the stress that comes with the task at hand. It isn't easy dating, being engaged to, and marrying a cop. Especially if he is in fact at a PD that gets shot at.

                My wife did it/ does it, God bless her soul because it sure as **** isn't easy. But, she had/ has the full support of family and friends. Without that, I doubt that it would have worked.
                I think I will. It is just a time issue. I am not rushing. He does not talk about work these days, at all. I mean, work is not everything for any man. That said, I haven't observed any hobby that he has! He played football in high school but got hurt and was operated on his knee. Fixing this and that at home on his day off seems to be the only thing he does.

                I do not have very strong family support here as I am an immigrant and my social network being far away. He understands me more than I understand him. Very mature and stable that's how he is, to me. Not sure about how it's going to be like in the long term if we carry on.

                Thank you for your reply!

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                • #23
                  The main theme is, truly, falling in love with each other. It is hard to believe a 6' tall guy said that he misses you and needs you, and he couldn't sleep thinking of you! It was so sweet! He does all the driving every week! Feel so guilty! It's long distance, and it's two person with such huge gaps in background, interest, occupation, age, language, ethnicity, weight and height (I am 5'3 and 108 lb). My English is not that good too (I even need to translate some of the words you guys wrote)!
                  There will be a way out, no matter what is in front of us! I believe in love! I still do! How silly and stubborn I am.

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                  • #24
                    The trick here is being apart is hard on both of us. Last week when he left, he did it so quickly. In almost 5 minutes he said, I better get going now, then bath room, then quick kiss then disappeared! He did not want me to feel the pain. That is huge! Talking nonsense and diet is something we picked to keep our minds away from the bloody fact that this is painful! Human beings are weird!
                    Like how I made it here and why I am still typing to the air at this late! Trivial and crap things keep us occupied and busy. Do not feel I can fix him. He made fun of it after all. "Do I get spanked if I don't eat breakfast?" or "If you send me a fresh nice photo I will eat something".
                    Last edited by mj; 11-19-2014, 03:44 AM.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by mj View Post
                      Some concerns: He works from 6:20am till 5 or 6 or even 8pm on his working days (some overtime, too) and he does not eat lunch. He works on most weekends too! He does not talk very much.
                      He adores me very much I think.
                      Dare not tell any friend or my parents abt this. Hope some of you here could help me sort out a clue. I know this sounds silly.
                      Does his wife know he works overtime too?
                      September 11, 2001 - All gave some, some gave all. Never forget -- Never forgive.......... RIP Brothers and Sisters.

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by So Fla Cop View Post
                        Does his wife know he works overtime too?
                        You think he is suspicious? A cheater? a liar?

                        Interesting. I better be careful, Hah?

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                        • #27
                          Unfortunately we can only speculate based on what we know from our collective experiences.
                          The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed.

                          I Am the Sheepdog.


                          "And maybe just remind the few, if ill of us they speak,
                          that we are all that stands between
                          the monsters and the weak." - Michael Marks


                          sigpic

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by SmallCityCop View Post
                            Unfortunately we can only speculate based on what we know from our collective experiences.
                            Very true! Can't agree more. So tricky as it comes to dating. Extremely tricky if that guy was not someone you knew from high school and was a cop!
                            I trust my intuitive sense most of the time and it works out well for most things not only seeing a man. I actually like him being taciturn-no feelings for smooth guys. So far it is okay if he does not provide with lots of information about his work. I emailed him the link to the cops-are-all-bad kinda webpage, he replied 2 days later, only 3 words "strange web site"; I sent him another two selfies of myself, again received 3 other words "I want more"
                            Strategy can only be "take it slow", coz that's how he is. Either because of his occupational training (I am guessing, no idea what you guys were given), or just natural personality , or he actually is secretly a jerk! He is like this anyway. And I feel that's attractive!
                            We have too much logic, too often wanting to analyze others, and had too much experience dealing with bad situations.
                            Life is short yet! He seems to be good. We seem to be a nice match. I have made a decision thanks to all who replied.
                            He called this morning, as usual. He worked overtime yesterday for 4 more hours. He works hard and I am totally fine with that-as I sometimes work overtime on lots of things too. I am a boring nerdy dork and he doesn't care-he thinks that's called smart. He is a cop, dealing with stress and long hours and not so good lifestyle, and I don't fundamentally care. I will help him adjust his lifestyle if we decide to go for a LTR. That shouldn't be looked at as I am a control freak or woman who wants to fix her partner type. I am not. As he is quite older (he is healthy so far), I do need to pay attention to his risks. Do not want to face a partner with chronic conditions all the time. If this keeps going I am sure anyone would hit the wall after 50 or 55. I see this clearly and I do have some prioritized things that I look for in the relationship. Fixing is just a shallow word. So are cheating. Human beings are way more complicated.
                            We have made some progress in the past week I think. He is coming to visit from tomorrow and will spend a few days here. I think we are going to talk-like seriously not me listening to his joking craps.
                            I always like tall, robust, funny but taciturn man. Yes I need more information to support the decision making-although the decision has been made, I choose to trust him, learn more about him and let him learn more about me! I am even considering looking for a job closer to him now!
                            Thanks!
                            Last edited by mj; 11-20-2014, 02:48 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by So Fla Cop View Post
                              Does his wife know he works overtime too?
                              Very true. I am sure we could tell you some crazy stories about our coworkers. One sergeant I worked with was always chasing female officers, dispatchers, the dog catcher, etc, etc. Confirmed bachelor and such, well one day (after I have known him 10+ years, he was on the job 15) he gets an emergency call, his son got hit by a bus. He has a wife? He has children? Wow none of us really knew that guy, even after 15 years on the job.

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by mj View Post
                                I trust my intuitive sense most of the time and it works out well for most things not only seeing a man.
                                Go to where he lives. If you have never been to where he sleeps that might be a clue. My partners always tell me how they cheat on wives and girlfriends.

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