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First year as a cop


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  • #16
    To put it bluntly MOVE ON. If he cared he'd put more effort in that's the bottom line.


    • #17
      Originally posted by tj05 View Post
      To put it bluntly MOVE ON. If he cared he'd put more effort in that's the bottom line.
      This! ^ No matter what the circumstances are, he should make time to see that you're happy and taken of after that much time in a relationship. If he truly was concerned about your feelings he would call you or text you at his first chance, at the least, just to say hi and let you know he is alive. Sounds like you already know the answer to your issue, you just have to decide if you want to put in more effort trying to get im to be honest. Good luck to you. Sounds like you really care and I'm sure he's a fool for letting you go.


      • #18
        My Brothers summed it up. I will say this, You deserve better. If someone loves you and wants to be with you, they will. Reading your post actully reminds me when I was yound and that insensitive holding on to my cake and eating it too. You deserve better.. When you stop he will try coming back, Don't let him.

        There are no stupid questions, but there sure are a lot of inquisitive idiots.


        • #19
          You can't change somebody's mind. He obviously KNOWS you were/are there for him, he knows YOU want to be committed to the relationship. There is nothing more YOU can do there to show or prove to him that keeping the relationship is right. At this point, you may want to consider accepting the fact that HE is making this decision, whatever his reasoning may be. He may be telling the truth about why, he may not be, but either way he is making a choice to distance himself from you because he WANTS to. I think it's easy to think sometimes, when you're involved with somebody, that they want space almost to protect you from themselves in a stressful time and help preserve the relationship In reality, I think he would know that nothing could potentially hurt the relationship more than for him to partially abandon it in suggesting to see others. A properly functioning relationship can be a source of stress, but overall it should be helping him to cope with a hard time and not hurting. You guys could get back together, be happy and what happens when another hard time comes? If this is his way of coping with it, that's on him and not you.

          I think you need to accept that he is making his decision, and you need to make yours regarding what you want to do next...but taking into consideration that his choice is HIS CHOICE- not the fault of a job or any fault of yours.
          Last edited by Kris396; 11-09-2014, 08:46 PM.


          • #20
            I appreciate all of the honesty.. I don't know what to think. Everytime I think I have it figured out I start getting doubts. Maybe I just need to open my eyes. All of your input has helped me so much though so I really appreciate it.


            • #21
              Find someone who deserves you and that you deserve! There is someone out there!!!
              The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed.

              I Am the Sheepdog.

              "And maybe just remind the few, if ill of us they speak,
              that we are all that stands between
              the monsters and the weak." - Michael Marks



              • #22
                Rookies and probies work a lot, but not THAT much. Not too much to text.

                The job does change you. I literally deal with criminals all day. It's changed me. How I see people, how I act, what I'm willing to put up with and what I won't. My wife has told me more than once: "Don't treat me like an inmate"... and that's what I was doing. It's been tough for her, but lucky for me she's stuck it out. I know, without question, I can't survive without her.

                Your man apparently doesn't see it that way. I'm sure you're a wonderful person but HE doesn't think you're the right one anymore. Maybe he's wrong, maybe he's right but like you said: You can't be there for him if he doesn't want you there.

                I wish you luck and happiness.
                "I am a Soldier. I fight where I'm told and I win where I fight." -- GEN George S. Patton, Jr.

                "With a brother on my left and a sister on my right, we face…. We face what no one should face. We face, so no one else would face. We are in the face of Death." -- Holli Peet


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