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It's My first time ever dating a cop...

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  • It's My first time ever dating a cop...

    I was hesitant at first. I've always grown up believing cops are a little crazy, violent, and are emotionally disturbed. But I met this cop and I like him. He's been in LE for over 20 years (is a sargeant). He's divorced, has no children.He is honest, polite, thoughtful...But he complains about his job. He even complains on his days off about being bored to death. I offer suggestions, ask him what he likes to do, etc, but he says, "I;ve heard that before, not interested.." He's also pretty negative about things. He's an easy going guy. Very sweet, funny..I 'm just concerned his negative vibes will make me miserable and depress me.
    Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this?

  • #2
    Posting a photo of yourself would help us advise you further.....


    Just sayin.
    sigpic

    Comment


    • #3
      First off, his attitude should not be able to make you negative or depressed. I mean you decide what your attitude is, not him. If you feel like you cant handle it, you probably shouldnt date him. 20 years in LE, hes seen more then you could imagine, so Im sure he has alot of negative to sift through. Unfortuantely to many good officers take that stuff home with them. Most cops are adrenaline junkies, is there something like that you could plan for him, maybe go carts or something fun. Something that does not give him time to sit around and think about it. Also instead of asking, just plan something and take him to do it.
      Also I wouldnt be to concerned about him complaining about his job if its "normal" complaints that most people have about their jobs. I LOVE my job in dispatch and patrol, and I complain about things still. I think thats common in all types of work.
      Being married to, or dating a cop is not for everyone. Its a full time job. The things they deal with is different then most men deal with. I have the UP MOST respect for my husband, NOT only as a LEO, but as a man. His needs come before mine. He is the leader of my household. Im not saying I never forget that, and dont get off on a tangient. BUT for the most part I dont. Remember he deals with SO much at work, his home life should be AS peaceful as possible. He doesnt need all that on his mind with what he deals with on the streets, it could get him or someone else hurt.
      Check the thread about books for LEO significant others...and read some of those books if you intend for this relationship to last.
      Good Luck!

      Comment


      • #4
        LEO Wife..Thanks for that! What you expressed was soooo helpful. You definitley helped put it all in a different perspective for me.
        I'll defniately look into those books you mentioned.

        He's one of a kind as far as his integrity and morals go,,,and he's honest and up front.
        Many guys Ive dated are not so honest about themselves or what they expect from other people, which is why I have a good feeling about this one.

        Thanks again!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by LEO Wife n Disp View Post
          I have the UP MOST respect for my husband, NOT only as a LEO, but as a man. His needs come before mine. He is the leader of my household.
          That's EXACTLY the way it is in my household.......

          .....well, it's mostly like that in my household;

          .....well, it's kinda like that in my household;

          .....well, it's sometimes like that in my household;

          .....well, once in awhile it's like that in my household;

          .....well, it was like that in my household one time. My wife was out of town.
          sigpic
          Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun.
          And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by kapsfb View Post
            that's exactly the way it is in my household.......

            .....well, it's mostly like that in my household;

            .....well, it's kinda like that in my household;

            .....well, it's sometimes like that in my household;

            .....well, once in awhile it's like that in my household;

            .....well, it was like that in my household one time. My wife was out of town.
            lmbo. Love that.

            Comment


            • #7
              If you read closely, somewhere on this website, it states all advice given will be bogus until said person posts a photo of themself. Therefore you can not believe anything you read until you post a photo of yourself.
              Prov 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

              Comment


              • #8
                20yrs on any job makes him at least in his mid 40s, he is an adult male who likes his way without change, stop trying to change him for what you see is beter and you will get along fine.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by TheTick
                  I'm sorry ma'am, but my needs absolutely come AFTER my wife and kids. I don't need to be the leader of my household. In fact, I prefer to come home and have to make relatively few decisions. I call enough of the shots at work.

                  Not sure if that is what you are saying, but don't be subservant to anyone.
                  HA! Yah you definately took it out of context. In fact Im very aggressive, and have had to learn to tone that down. .
                  But the bible sais that the man is the head of the household. Decesions are his to be made, if he leaves them in my court I have no issue making them, but all big/final decesions should be the husbands. That is the way it was intended. *edited to add that being the leader of the house hold does not mean that he is bothered with petty decesions. I take care of the bills, shopping, ect so that its not something he has to worry about*
                  I have NO problem being in charge/taking charge, Im a cop also, Type A personality all the way. But in my marriage, I like to be in Gods favor, which puts the man as the head of the household.
                  And in HIS eyes he would put himself after me and our girls, no question about that. But what I mean is if we both come home from work and both are tired, I will let him sit down and cool down while I take care of the children, and cook dinner.

                  I heard an amazing qoute a few weeks ago, the man is the head of the house hold, and every head needs a good set of shoulders. Im proud to be my husbands shoulders.

                  Theres a BIG difference between respect and honoring him as the head of my household, and being subservient.
                  Last edited by LEO Wife n Disp; 06-22-2012, 08:25 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by LEO Wife n Disp View Post
                    I like to be in Gods favor, which puts the man as the head of the household.
                    I've GOT to start going to church more often!!!!!
                    sigpic
                    Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun.
                    And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      LEO Wife, You definitely have the right idea. I happen to share the same beliefs. I did it all wrong the first time with my ex husband.
                      The man needs to be the leader, not necessary do EVERYTHING, but woman should to defer to him. If he hands it over to his woman, then thats fine as well. "Let a Man be a Man", I say.

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                      • #12
                        He's divorced, has dogs, and yes, drives a VERY fast car. BUt he's the most sincere person Ive ever met...LE or otherwise..

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          The bible clearly defines roles in the home and they're often misunderstood by people who don't study the bible. Taking a single verse out of context even occurs with church regulars. Nowhere (that I'm aware of) if the relationship between husband and wife one of master/slave. It's about spiritual leadership and a defined chain of command in the home and church.

                          Those who adhere to the tenets of their Christian religion rarely have a problem with it. Those who are not religious at all, or who hold loose beliefs based upon the Christian ideals they prefer, seem to always have problems with that delineation.

                          Originally posted by KapsFB View Post
                          I've GOT to start going to church more often!!!!!
                          Yep. You definitely need Jesus!
                          NRA Life Member

                          The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. - Sir Robert Peel

                          Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by woodstock View Post
                            He's divorced, has dogs, and yes, drives a VERY fast car. BUt he's the most sincere person Ive ever met...LE or otherwise..
                            Hello Woodstock, welcome to the world of LEO relationships.
                            Firstly, don't try and change a man that has been a LEO for 20 years. It's worked thus far, don't mess with it. LEO's are just like everyone else, except they have seen the worst, expect the least and hold a lot inside themselves. If he's the leader, so be it. But if he's looking for something else and you can fill the nitch, great.
                            Secondly, relationships take work. Some even take more work than others. If you really like this guy and want to make it work, approach it as a partnership. Don't push him into things you think he'll like, ask him.
                            Lastly, just be yourself. If he keeps coming around, calling or showing up to see you, well there you go. Then it's a beautiful thing.
                            Originally posted by JasperST
                            "The fail is strong with this one."


                            Originally posted by mdrep
                            It's not sporting old chap. Like shooting fish in a barrel. You may only take a shot at a poser or troll if they are running and you are properly licensed.

                            What do you think we are, a bunch of barbarians?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi Trauma1.
                              Point taken.
                              Thanks for your input. Much appreciated!

                              Comment

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