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Pothead brother rant/need advice

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  • Pothead brother rant/need advice

    I don't know when it started but my brother turned into a real dirt bag. I was at college and was getting phone calls from older siblings of my brothers friends whom I went to HS with. The phone calls regarded him doing coke, X, and smoking copious amounts of MJ. That was a fun phone call to make to my father, let me tell you. Since he has quit the hard stuff.

    Anyways, since then he does not shut up about pot as he sees it as ultra cool, really hard to explain. He has totally fallen into the pot culture. I am currently living at home until I find a full time gig, and it sucks. Everyday that I am around him is like spending a day with a guy who got a Ferrari the day before. Honestly, it is annoying but thats not what bothers me.

    A few months ago, when he was home from college, I was in the kitchen making a sandwich, minding my own business. Usually the inner door to the garage is open until everyone goes to bed. It was closed. My 'spidey sense' kicked in as I heard voices in the garage. I open the door and there he is with a friend, hitting the good ole bong and all. I got pretty angry pretty fast and I like to equate my use of expletives to that of a Master Chief and Gunny yelling at the same person at the same time. Anyways, I threatened to contact some nice people to which my brother didn't like. His friend left pretty quick at that note. At this point, my brother went off on how I am his brother first to which I replied that he is MY brother also and should have some blankin respect for me as well. I also told him I didn't give a darn what he did so long as he did it elsewhere. I notified my parents, simply because at this point, I am sick of dealing with it. They pay for college and it is their garage.

    Fast forward to a few weeks ago. He asked me if I was going to be home this evening as I split my time between here and the future Mrs. place. I said I didn't know and queried why he wanted to know. He said he intended on having a little party. I asked why that would matter unless something illegal was going to happen. To which he responded that I didn't have to worry as long as I didnt open the garage (intended pot smokers club) or go in the basement (underage consumption of alcohol).

    Today, my brother was pretty agitated again. Something about how he couldn't have a party tonight because 'I would call the cops' and how I was a 'scumbag brother' who is a 'scumbag cop'. Mind you, I have only worked as an Aux Officer quite far away from him. This is how he sees me. Unfortunately, the only thing he ever talks about besides trying to convince me that pot is good is how he hates cops. All of his friends hate cops. I leave when I can but it is pretty annoying.

    I have no problem taking crap from regular dirtbags but when its my own brother (who until today was going to be the best man at my wedding).....Somebody out there gets the idea. Does ANYBODY out there have a similar experience?

    Thanks and stay safe out there.
    Last edited by saultsaultsudio; 05-23-2011, 03:16 AM.
    Stay safe out there

    "Cancel that central, its a moose"

  • #2
    Drop a dime on him.

    He doesn't respect you or your parents if he is pulling that crap in their home.

    I wouldn't miss a beat in making the call.
    Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

    My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

    Comment


    • #3
      saultsault,
      It sounds like your brother has an addiction problem. Nothing is going to make him change if HE doesn't want to change. I agree with Iowa...drop a dime. That being said, I wish you the best...I know first hand how difficult it is dealing with a family member who needs help. PM me if you feel the need to vent again.
      Codeman

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by codemanski View Post
        That being said, I wish you the best...I know first hand how difficult it is dealing with a family member who needs help.
        Codeman
        As do I ................................
        Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

        My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

        Comment


        • #5
          Why aren't your parents doing something? They may find themselves being criminally charged and they won't be able to say they didn't know it was happening.

          Comment


          • #6
            ^^I was thinking the same thing. They could have their house taken away...underage drinking? illegal activities?

            Do they and your brother know the real ramifications that they are choosing to ignore?




            World_So_Cold

            Comment


            • #7
              Thanks everybody for the input. It is greatly appreciated. I feel like I owe you all a round of beers.

              Originally posted by just joe View Post
              Why aren't your parents doing something? They may find themselves being criminally charged and they won't be able to say they didn't know it was happening.
              My dad came down pretty hard on him back when I first found out about his 'issues' and my mom is doing her best but is herself in AA which is a mess all in its own. Plus my dad has to travel internationally for work so he is rarely home. Not to mention they are going through a divorce and living under the same roof. Its like the perfect storm haha.

              Originally posted by needguidance View Post

              Do they and your brother know the real ramifications that they are choosing to ignore?
              They aren't choosing to ignore it (my parents), they are just doing the best they can. I think my brother knows but I think he honestly chooses to ignore any ramifications.
              Stay safe out there

              "Cancel that central, its a moose"

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by saultsaultsudio View Post
                Thanks everybody for the input. It is greatly appreciated. I feel like I owe you all a round of beers.



                My dad came down pretty hard on him back when I first found out about his 'issues' and my mom is doing her best but is herself in AA which is a mess all in its own. Plus my dad has to travel internationally for work so he is rarely home. Not to mention they are going through a divorce and living under the same roof. Its like the perfect storm haha.



                They aren't choosing to ignore it (my parents), they are just doing the best they can. I think my brother knows but I think he honestly chooses to ignore any ramifications.
                All of that is MORE of a reason to drop a dime.

                I know I sound harsh, it's family and all, BUT this kid is putting your parents in a bad spot.

                Good Luck
                Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

                My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

                Comment


                • #9
                  He's in need of an intervention. While he may have quit hard drugs, his lifestyle sounds like a destructive one. At the very least he should see a therapist because he may be hiding his issues and woes with drinking and drugs.

                  Good luck brother.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by saultsaultsudio View Post
                    Thanks everybody for the input. It is greatly appreciated. I feel like I owe you all a round of beers.



                    My dad came down pretty hard on him back when I first found out about his 'issues' and my mom is doing her best but is herself in AA which is a mess all in its own. Plus my dad has to travel internationally for work so he is rarely home. Not to mention they are going through a divorce and living under the same roof. Its like the perfect storm haha.



                    They aren't choosing to ignore it (my parents), they are just doing the best they can. I think my brother knows but I think he honestly chooses to ignore any ramifications.
                    Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom before they turn their lives around. Your parents should give him an ultimatum...straighten up or get out. Then they need to stick to it.




                    World_So_Cold

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I can understand I have a younger brother that is not welcome in my home or around me, my wife, or kids for similar behaviors

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Screw him. His attitude and actions tell you he cares nothing for you or mom and dad.
                        Pete Malloy, "The only thing black and white about this job is the car."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I agree with OneAdam and all the various drop-a-dimes, there's a good chance that when his life hits the bottom, he'll reach for you to help.

                          My younger sister is a little train-wreck all by herself. And to make matters worse, she's not even in high school yet. Every time I visit my mother's I have to listen to that little brat bad mouth me, the police in general and my mother, which irks the hell out of me. It becomes like a sermon with me spitting statues at her like a preacher quotes scripture. Man, have times changed, kids used to play dodgeball for fun, not steal money from their parents to buy drugs.

                          And it's a whole different game when it's family that's hating on you like that.

                          You need an ear, I've got two. Good luck saultsault.
                          Tueri et servire.
                          Ad serviendum ac protegendum.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I have found myself in a similar situation with my own brother. However, he would never say that he hated cops, as he knows that it was my dream to become one and that cops are just doing their job. He was a drug addict and understood that dealing with the cops was just part of what he was wrapped up in at the time. At one point when I returned from oversees, we were both living at home, I had to sternly remind his junky friends what would happen to them if I ever caught them at or around my house ever again. At the time I was not an officer and looking back this was not the smartest move so I am in no way suggesting this is what you do.

                            If there is nothing that you can do to help him, you have to cover yourself. Don't get yourself jammed up, keep you goals in mind and know that you have to do what is right. I would suggest, as everyone else did, that if you can't move out for whatever reason, you need to drop a dime on him.

                            In my situation, I had another, much younger brother (about 7 years younger) who was living at the house and my parents often "put on the blinders", so to speak. I understand that it is hard because you will always love your brother, but just remember you have to take care of yourself and your best interests first.

                            In my brother's case, he was addicted to very hard drugs. It sounds like in your brothers case he is choosing to act like an @$$h0L3. I was even denied the first job I applied for due to his activities. Just for anyone who is interested, my brother is about two years sober now and doing great, and I got the job that I've always dreamt about. I hope that this all works out for you.
                            Last edited by BadMaster; 06-19-2011, 03:25 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              It is tough when a family member puts you in this position. You must remember you did not create the situation he did. I was in a similar situation with an Uncle who was constantly getting into trouble, and unfortunately\ my father was always there to bail him out or give him money. He started showing up at my house asking for favors and money playing the hardship card. I told him I would help him if he got on the right track and got a job stayed out of trouble etc. He laughed and said he wasn't going to take advice from his nephew that was twenty years his younger.

                              Well the final straw was one he was arrested on my wedding day. My father was worried the whole night because nobody knew where he was. I went to his house after he got out and told him he was not welcome at my residence or any family events I held. He blamed everything on the police that night he got arrested, and said "you know how you guys are." That was the final straw and I told him that he was my Uncle only by definition. I have not spoken to or seen him for the past three years.

                              The bottom line is your not alone and most of us have that one person in our family. People my disagree with me, my father included, but blood only goes so far. Once you repeatedly disrespect and take advantage of me your a family member by definition only since you respect no other aspects of it.

                              Don't let him make you feel bad for the life he chooses to lead.
                              "In valor there is hope"

                              Comment

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