Leader

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Soo I was sitting in church

Collapse

300x250 Mobile

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Soo I was sitting in church

    So I was sitting in church after working till 7 am. I just felt that I needed to be there. After working several hours overtime, I haven't been able to go and get spiritually fed. Anyway, the preacher really hit home when he began to discuss our responsibilities as Christians to ehlp those that have strayed from God.
    As we all know I am sure, we as officers are already convicted of being man-whores without any solid proof otherwise. Yes there are those that choose to collect "Badge Bunnies". And those people ruin it for the rest of us that perform our jobs, and return to our families. having said that, ill ask this, when do we take a stand and try to help someone who has faltered? what I mean is, I work in a small town, and there are a handful of officers that choose the player lifestyle. One of these in-particular is my my partner. Granted he tells me that he has not been happy in his marriage for sometime and that he has found the one person he wants to be with. The trouble is, he is still married and has an 8 year old daughter. The lady he is trying to be with is divorced from one of those "crazy ex's" that has already told my partner's wife about their extra activities. When he had the oppurtunity to exit his unhappy marriage during this confrontation, he lied and covered up. Now he has taken up drinking. I am very concerned tht he will become a statistic, as we have the highest divorce and suicide rates of any career. So how can I try to help him withou coming off as snotty or uppity while trying to do my Christian duty? we have talked, and he is ready to divorce his wife for this chick, but he doesnt want to leave his daghter. Soo I just dont know.
    In God We Trust...Everyone else gets run through NCIC!

  • #2
    Well, I don't envy your position. All you can do is tell him what you think, the rest is up to him.
    I heard a saying a long time ago that seems to be true and you can tell your partner......If she cheated with you, she'll cheat on you.
    Your partner needs to realign his prioritys. He loved his wife before. What will it take to love her again?

    Comment


    • #3
      He's going to make his own decision on this matter. It's hard to stay with someone you don't love. Look at how many LEO's get divorced. Many shouldn't have gotten married in the first place if they wanted to still play the field. Also remember that alot of gals are attracted to uniforms, so a LEO might be more tempted than some other professions, due to gals making themselves more available.

      About going to church...that's a good thing, but remember God is everywhere, just waiting for you to talk to Him.
      Sleep well. There are people out there willing to die tonight so that you can wake up safe tomorrow.

      Comment


      • #4
        Express concern without trying to take control. "Dave, I'm worried about you. Here's what I hear you say....this is what I'm seeing you do....you say you want outcome X, but you seem to be trying to get outcome Y, are your plans working for you? What's getting in your way? Who are you opening up to? Are you getting any counseling help from your health plan?"

        Chances are, deep down inside, he knows what he wants/needs to do.

        In your conversations with him, use just open-ended questions. "What's it like for you, right now?" "What scenario best describes the outcome you are looking for?" "I'm just curious, does drinking make these plans seem more logical?"

        Make no judgements. Express concern but give no direction unless he says, "What should I do?" Even then, try not to give him your solution, because if and when it goes wrong, you'll get the blame.

        Just have him outline his options and what the outcomes might be. Don't co-sign his BS..."I'm not sure that will work, have you thought of this....?"
        "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

        Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

        Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

        Comment


        • #5
          What Kieth said. Express your concerns as his friend, but the decisions to make are his. You don't need to get preachy or religios, just a simple, "Hey man, I'm worried about you."

          Comment


          • #6
            Be a friend. How would you want him to approach you if you were doing wrong? I agree with what Keith said. You're a good friend.
            Dispatch: "All units be advised, he's on foot in a red dodge pick up truck."
            Me: "Ummm, control..."

            Comment


            • #7
              Just be there to listen and offer your opinion...Not advice! A person will change when they WANT to change, and if the outcome of this situation is not what you anticipate, you have not only lost a partner, but you have lost a friend. I suggest then, (if you are asked), steering him in the direction of a qualified and impartial counselor. If God is part of this plan, then so be it. If not...then so be it also. You can do the most good by just being there! MOHP,
              Codeman

              Comment

              MR300x250 Tablet

              Collapse

              What's Going On

              Collapse

              There are currently 4441 users online. 257 members and 4184 guests.

              Most users ever online was 26,947 at 07:36 PM on 12-29-2019.

              Welcome Ad

              Collapse
              Working...
              X