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  • Sister issue.

    So I have a 23 year old sister that for as long as I can remember has had bipolar issues and tends to fly off the handle. She has a past history of abusing family members, mother and myself, when things dont go as she wants them. My father is the same way, which lead to my parents getting a devorce and I do not speak to him now becasue "its never his fault always the other persons for his actions" which i do not respect and dont want anything to do with. Tonight my sister flew off the handle because she thinks i stole something out of her room, she came into my room and started yelling and i told her calmly, relax i didnt do anything just relax. She began to get closer and leaned down into my face telling me that she has connections and that im going to get ****ed up. Ill pay. So I calmly said do not threaten my and get back. get out of my face. she began to get closer so i pushed her gently on her shoulder back which then set her off which she hit me so i jumped up grabbed her arm put it behind her back and put her up against the wall. She then turned real quickly punched me in the face. I grabbed her again and put her up against a door which opened and I lost my hold on her arm. She then dug her nails in my neck leaving me two scratches which im bleeding from. Then i let go and backed away saying that I was going to call the police, which i didnt. But i walked away and said that it was assault and i was just defending myself. My mom came out and started getting in the middle which is when I walked up back into my room and closed the door. Now my question to you all is.....what do you do? Do you let it slide or do you actually follow through and call the cops. She has and will do this again. Id rather it happen to me then my mom but still it needs to stop. Was I wrong? and please be honest with me. Thank you.

  • #2
    On top of that When i went down stairs I grabbed the phone and put in 911 to call the police (in my area I have state police) I thought i just hung up but aparently i was so worked up that I hit the call button then hung up the phone. So the door bell just rang and there were 2 state police at the door. They decided that it was just going to be a sister brother tiff but that if they have to come back we both would be taken away. I also mentioned to the one trooper that I was working my way to becoming a state trooper and he said that this would effect me because it will be written out and what not. Is that true? That kind of worries me.

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    • #3
      If it's not documented then it did not happen, if you are an adult, the first time she calls the police and says you did it, then it's domestic violence and you won't own any firearms after that conviction so no chance of being police or military. If you are an adult then just move out.

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      • #4
        So if the trooper said we will just say its a brother sister tiff does that mean hes letting it slide? He also said you two can handle it like adults tomorrow. I am so nervous about everything and anything effecting my chances of becoming a trooper.

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        • #5
          You better start looking for another place to live. You shouldn't put your hands her her at all. Even if its just to push her out of the way.

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          • #6
            Yeah but its not like i raised my fist to her. I pushed her back because she was literally 2 inches from my face. In all truth it was self defense. I would never actually like wail on her.

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            • #7
              Move out, you can. If you can't, get a job then move out. Have you heard of the old saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." Well, you already know its going to happen again so you might as well leave. Is she taking any meds for her condition?

              Another way you could have handled that situation is when she accused you of taking her stuff, say you didnt and tell her you will HELP her find it. Hard to accuse someone if they are taking time out of their schedule to help you find what's lost. btw, im curious, where was it?
              Dispatch: "All units be advised, he's on foot in a red dodge pick up truck."
              Me: "Ummm, control..."

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              • #8
                How old are you?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Quinn58 View Post
                  Yeah but its not like i raised my fist to her. I pushed her back because she was literally 2 inches from my face. In all truth it was self defense. I would never actually like wail on her.
                  Its not self defense. You had no right to put your hands on her. You were wrong. You are lucky you didn't get locked up for assault then your career would have been over before it started because you were wrong. If you can't handle a situation with your sister that has a mental disability then you might want to think about your future life choices over some time.

                  When you come back with the "she started it" when being told that you were wrong it doesn't show a lot of maturity on your part.

                  Your situation is easy and you have two options, move out or learn to get along with your sister.

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                  • #10
                    brn, with her condition she thinks that she doesnt need medication. She has tried it before says it doesnt help but trust me it does. I love her shes my sister shes so damn difficult to get along with. I dont think she found it, maybe she did she wouldnt tell me she did anyway. haha

                    Jenners, I'm 20.

                    Baysidegal, I never said "she started it". She wouldnt back away and talk to me about it when I calmly said step back I dont know what your talking about. I told her to relax that I would talk to her about it but she needed to calm down. She then got in my face and I said back up and she didnt, she began to threaten me which I then pushed her shoulder with my hand open which wasnt even hard enough for her to fall back or loose her footing and have to take a step to get her balance, it shifted her shoulder. I never ment any harm on her. I knew she was going to hit me before she even did. She hit me I then restrained her against the wall, didnt slam her into it punch her or anything, simply grabbed her arm and put her against the wall.

                    Dont take this as me being defensive because Im not Im trying to tell my side. Honestly, should I have let her hit me? What do you do at that point besides restraining her? I will gladly "man up" to my wrong doing. I am a criminal justice student, not an officer yet, so I have a GENERAL UNDERSTANDING of how it all works. I understand what assault is and domestic abuse.

                    So please fill me in if I continue to be wrong. Again, Im not being defensive basically what I am saying is although I am a criminal justice student, I am still clueless.

                    Thanks.

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                    • #11
                      Sorry, Bayside, I disagree. Going with the story as its presented, he's in his room and she came at him in a threatening manner. He has a right to defend himself.

                      To the OP: You need to find somewhere else to live. You cannot change your sister and it doesn't sound like this is going to end well.

                      PSST-my sister has many of the same issues you have mentioned with yours. Unfortunately, the last time I laid hands on her was when I was 27 and she was 32. Sorry, I don't allow anyone in my personal space in a threatening manner. I sent her across the room and yes, I was a LEO at the time.
                      sigpic

                      I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

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                      • #12
                        I agree with brn2reign, offer to help look for whatever she thinks you took. If she is on meds try toas a family, make sure she takes them and if not then get her on some. If she keeps flying off the handle and you worry about your future in LE then I suggest what everyone else on here already has. Move out. I know you would rather have this happen to you than your mother but if domestic reports get written up on this you could lose your position in LE and might be a mall cop later and your sister will have stuff on her record also.

                        Now according to your story you didnt hit her or even try to hit her. According to your story all you were doing was trying to restrain her and I really dont see much wrong with that. I also see some holes in your story and am wondering if you are telling the whole story.

                        If the troopers didnt get anyones name or numbers or anything then no report is going to be filed. Watch it though. Many visits to the same house and they might remember that address on your application.
                        What Is A Veteran?
                        A 'Veteran,' whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve is 'someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to and including his life.' That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country today who no longer understand that fact.

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                        • #13
                          Smurgette, that is exatly how I feel. I grew up with my dad being an agressive abusive man that beat on my mom and even my sister, which is what I blame alot of how she acts on. She was told she was retarted and stupiud things like that which you can only tell a little girl that so many times before she belives it. Anyway the point is, if there is one thing i do not tolirate, its abuse and assault. I am the last man to every hit a woman, let alone a family member. If I didnt restrain her, she would have beaten me senseless. I am 6'4 175lbs, she is 6'1 and maybe 150lbs but man she can pack a punch. I asked her to back off nicely, I wasnt rude about it, she was screaming 2 inches from my face literally saying she had connections and that I would be ****ed up and I will regret this and so on. Like you smurfette, I dont allow anyone in my personal space saying they were going to kill me, family or not. If I could afford to go to school and have my own place trust me I would but I can not as of now. But, I will keep my space, stay away and keep my mouth shut.

                          If I really wanted to, I could have beaten her, but I didnt. Thank you for taking the time to answer all of this, and please continue if you have some input.

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                          • #14
                            Rasmblack, what holes do you see? I will gladly explain if you have questions.

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                            • #15
                              I dont' think he's looking for you to explain inasmuch as you need to understand there are always three versions to every story. No matter if you were an angel in all this, undoubtedly her story will be different. You don't want nor need any of this getting worse and ending up in court. Sometimes (quite a bit of the time) its more about how it looks than what really happened. No one in court is going to want to hear all the "drama" of the past. You need to move if for no other reason than it sounds unhealthy. Find a roommate...something.
                              sigpic

                              I don't agree with your opinion, but I respect its straightforwardness in terms of wrongness.

                              Comment

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