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  • The girlfriend says I'm "changing"

    Examples a friend told me, he's 32yo, graduated the academy about 1.5 years ago:

    She (long term girlfriend) wakes up today and says she feels sick. She wants to go to the doctor. She asks if I'd like to come.

    I say sure.

    We go into the garage, I ask if she's driving. She says "No". I say, I don't even know where we're going??

    I capitulate and drive my 3/4 truck, which irks me since she has an efficient little BMW.

    She gives an intersection and street number for our destination (the doctor's office). They don't match.

    I drive up and down the street looking. No success.

    I'm irritated. She doesn't know the phone number for the doctor's office.

    There's a motorcycle unit resting a bit and I ask him. She sees that he gives the same answer, "The intersection is south, the street number you have is north."

    I'm ****ed because now I'm stuck trying to fix a difficult problem I didn't create, nor would've created had it been my prerogative to drive to the doctor.

    We drive all over, up and down 1511 S. Avenue to 1511 N. Avenue. I tell her, this street goes through 3 cities, all with separate N/S street numbers. Are you sure it's this city? She doesn't know.

    I rant a bit. I tell her, "This is why I didn't want to drive. I would've verified the destination and had the phone number in my phone memory if I got lost."

    Finally we reach destination, about 10 miles from where she originally thought it was. she didn't have the correct street number, let alone North or South, let alone the correct city.

    Doctor says she's sick, and to drink fluids. Which is the same thing I told her when she originally said she felt sick.

    Half a day wasted... and she resents me.

    I'm damned if I don't drive. So I give in and I'm damned more for my efforts.



    Recently, I have noted that other people's bungles are irritating me more than normal. Is it wrong that everyone, now even my family (girlfriend, kids) seems just more than happy to create a soup sandwich and hand it to me with no instructions other than "fix it"? These problems wouldn't be so complex or time consuming if they'd take simple and reasonable efforts to PLAN AHEAD and double check.

    I am losing my patience sooner than I used to. It seems to me that my loved ones just don't care.

    For instance, take my son. I call him from work the night before his football game. "Boy, get your whole uniform ready, put it on, make sure everything is there and works. Then put the whole uniform in the corner of your room and don't touch anything".

    I get home from a 13hr shift at 0330 hours, wake up at 0530 hours and we leave at 0600 hours for a football game. He doesn't have his socks.!!!!

    I knew it. I knew he'd forget something. That's why I told him to prep everything the night before. I take the effort to remind him, and he's still to lazy to check.


    Does it ever feel like you're working too hard and too strung out, to be dealing with people who don't care? ESPECIALLY FAMILY???

    They just look at me like I'm the freaking answer grape.

    The girlfriend wants to eat pizza. She refuses to order it. So I order the pizza. She doesn't want the pizza the way I ordered it. Then I have to call back and amend the order.

    I don't want to just give up and not give a damn. However, at the same time I feel like I'm way overstressed fixing everyone else's problems.

    This is resulting in a short temper. She says I'm "changing", and looks at me like I'm a stranger.
    What do you tell your friend?
    Last edited by DaisyCutter; 09-28-2009, 06:38 PM.
    "Too many times, too many times payin' the price, just for the thrill" - Tesla

  • #2
    tell him he is starting to freak out a bit. He needs a way to switch off. get a hobbie or go to the gym. anything that involves just him getting his head straight. People are people, they are going to be dumb. Even we can be a little dumb from time to time. Take the story of his son for instance. You cannot tell me he did not expect his son to forget somthing. so why freak out about it? I mean really. His girlfriend was sick, so her thinking was a bit wonkie. thats makes things understandible in that prespective. If you find yourself snaping at small petty things you need to take a step back and fix it. thats no bueno on or off the job.
    _____________________________________________
    RIP Officer R.K Pitts
    Fairfield Police Dept California
    my father, my hero, greatest cop who ever lived


    The above comments reflect the personal and unofficial opinions of the poster; and in no way should be taken to indicate any opinion or policy of any government agency.

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    • #3
      If people are depending on him to do everything its because he's gotten them use to it. Now that he has a job that has him working odd hours he can't do it but they're still use to him saving the day.

      I also noticed that in every situation its always about him and how the situation is effecting him. Thats called narcissism.

      He needs top let people make their mistakes and live with it. If my son forgets his socks for a football game, and I've been up all night, guess what....he's playing with no socks.
      Simple things like that are easy to fix by letting people bare the consequences of their own lack of responsibility.

      The situation with taking the girlfriend to the doctor. She's sick and needs to go to the doctor and he's upset because she had bad directions?
      He really needs to get over himself and be honest. If he doesn't care about her and could give a crap if she goes to the doctor he should tell her. Othewise he needs to shut his pie hole and realize she's the one whos sick and find the place out of love for her.

      Everything in life is not about him. He will have a short LE career if he doesn't get this charector flaw fixed.
      Due to the Juvenile bickering and annoying trolling committed by members of this forum I have started an igore list. If your name is listed below I can't see you.

      CityCopDC, Fire Moose, Carbonfiberfoot, Damiansolomon

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      • #4
        Originally posted by DaisyCutter View Post
        Examples a friend told me, he's 32yo, graduated the academy about 1.5 years ago:
        She (long term girlfriend) wakes up today and says she feels sick. She wants to go to the doctor. She asks if I'd like to come.

        What do you tell your friend?
        I would tell her yes I would like to come. But after that I don't know what your talking about.
        Don't blame me, I voted McCain
        ------------------------------------------
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        ------------------------------------------
        See if you can find the differences in these two pictures, I did.

        http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf

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        • #5
          It seems like there is a deeper, more serious problem that he experienced and it's making him irritated at the little things. May want to talk to him about that and tell him its not fair to let it out on others. Someone mentioned to get a hobby or find some sort of "sanctuary" he can go to. Mine is the gym and various arts.
          Dispatch: "All units be advised, he's on foot in a red dodge pick up truck."
          Me: "Ummm, control..."

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          • #6
            Is this one of those "my friend" stories?
            Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

            sigpic

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            • #7
              Looks like "your friend" is a little high strung. He is heading for a break down. I agree with everyone else here. He needs to take a step back...BREATH.....and then realize that if EVERYONE thinks he is the problem...its probably because he is. Its never to late to fix a problem. You just have to recognize there is a problem to begin with and then work on it. And as for making up....Susan99's idea would probably work majic for you...i mean for "your friend"

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              • #8
                He needs to get her a heating pad and put it on her stomach, she'll be fine in approximately 6 days. I've only been married 11 years, but I've lernt sum stuff. Relax, hit the gym, and then a massage therapist. They are the BEST!
                Most people fail because they trade what they want MOST, for what they want at the MOMENT.

                The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, WHO can know it?
                -Jeremiah 17:9

                Is it any surprise that cops don't trust anyone?

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                • #9
                  I try to cook with Olive Oil more.

                  It's healthy.

                  M-11
                  “All men dream...... But not equally..
                  Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it is vanity;
                  but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men,
                  for they act their dreams with open eyes to make it possible.....”

                  TE Lawrence

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                  • #10
                    Its called roid rage...

                    Who gets on their son like that over a pair of socks... WOW dude really...
                    I am not afraid... I was born to do this.

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                    • #11
                      That's my take: he's over-tired.

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                      • #12
                        Wow talk about hidden messages and mixed Metaphors!

                        Are you the friend or the Chick? I can't tell

                        See Outshined and I are confused because at a certain age you just say what the he77 is on your mind instead of involving "friends" and colorful stories.
                        "a band is blowing Dixie double four time You feel alright when you hear the music ring"


                        The real deal

                        Outshined Pujulesfan Bearcat Chitowndet Sgt Slaughter jthorpe M-11 Lt Borelli L-1Sgt CHP Nikk Smurf Presence1 IcecoldblueyesKimble LADEP ateamer ChiCity R.A.B. Jenners IrishMetal GoldBadge willowdared Monkeybomb PhilipCal pullicords Chit2001 Garbageman Narco CruiserClass Fuzz 10-42Trooper Tex4720 irishlad2nv bajakirch OnThe gurmpyirishmanNYIlliniSgtScott31 CityCopDCcgh6366 FJDave

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by leesrt View Post
                          If people are depending on him to do everything its because he's gotten them use to it. Now that he has a job that has him working odd hours he can't do it but they're still use to him saving the day.

                          I also noticed that in every situation its always about him and how the situation is effecting him. Thats called narcissism.

                          He needs top let people make their mistakes and live with it. If my son forgets his socks for a football game, and I've been up all night, guess what....he's playing with no socks.
                          Simple things like that are easy to fix by letting people bare the consequences of their own lack of responsibility.

                          The situation with taking the girlfriend to the doctor. She's sick and needs to go to the doctor and he's upset because she had bad directions?
                          He really needs to get over himself and be honest. If he doesn't care about her and could give a crap if she goes to the doctor he should tell her. Othewise he needs to shut his pie hole and realize she's the one whos sick and find the place out of love for her.

                          Everything in life is not about him. He will have a short LE career if he doesn't get this charector flaw fixed.
                          +1 I agree. The guy needs to teach and lead those around him. My wife knows for the most part to get directions and phone numbers. Also if his GF is just "sick" and he thinks its a waste of time let her dumbass go to the doctor and waste her time and he needs to chill the F out. Then when she comes home he can be nice and ask how it went.
                          Any views or opinions presented by this prenomen are solely those of a burlesque author and do not necessarily represent those of a LEA or caementum couturier.

                          nom de plume

                          This is the internet- take all information with a grain of salt. Such could be valid and true or could be typed just for playing devils advocate.

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                          • #14
                            If the guy was out of home and his girlfriend self had to go to the doctor, did she self really can not reach the destination

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                            • #15
                              All I can say is "WOW!"...All I see in the original post is "that's how life is"! Wouldn't it be nice if everyone did what you thought they ought to do?...How cool would that be! I agree that Officer Sleep Deprived needs to get a grip and put things into the proper perspective. Sick girlfriend...NO big deal! No socks...NO big deal!...Freakin' out, losing your job, and ending up in a padded room...REALLY BIG DEAL!!! Git it figgered out afore it gits YOU brother!
                              Codeman

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