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  • Odd sort of anniversary

    My wife and I were at lunch, the other day, at McDonalds. The twins were playing in the playland and she brought up my ex-wife in the conversation.

    I realized that this June, it will be 20 years since my ex- asked me to leave the house.

    More importantly, it was 20 years ago this January, when the last exchange of bodily fluids took place, in what I thought was the most important lovemaking I believed I would ever attempt...yet turned out to be the most sad, empty, hollow, disillusioning experience I ever went through. I thought I was trying to save my marriage....she was unresponsive.

    My (new, improved, and final) wife caught me smiling and asked, "Are you remembering her (my ex-) fondly, right now?"

    I still smiled and said, "No, (I then explained the '20 years since' deal and then continued with...) I was wondering if there was some kind of anniversary medallion or AA-like chip, or a birthday-style cake, I could get to savor the passage of that amount of time from that disagreeable chore."

    Sooooooooo, anybody else been freed from pain, guilt, or other bad feelings about a previous relationship? Anyone else feel like celebrating?

    And please remember, this is a family-friendly website, when you make your reply....if any does!
    Last edited by Kieth M.; 01-31-2009, 11:18 PM.
    "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

    Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

  • #2
    Good on ya Keith, and congrats on moving on. No story of my own other than I'm slowly realising that continuing to occasionally sleep with my ex-wife is having the same effect on my self-belief/confidence/psyche is like scratching a mossie bite: sure, you get some relief but it can end up in an oozing, festering, gangrenous, weeping sore
    No-one is completely useless, they can always serve as a bad example

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    • #3
      Eww on the analogy . But probably true...I thought that stuff only happened in the movies?

      Nah, all of my "anniversaries" from my past married life happen later in the year.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Jenners View Post
        Eww on the analogy . But probably true...I thought that stuff only happened in the movies?...
        LOL, there's no probably about it...

        And she left me
        No-one is completely useless, they can always serve as a bad example

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        • #5
          Congrats Keith! Good for you
          RKT
          "a band is blowing Dixie double four time You feel alright when you hear the music ring"


          The real deal

          Outshined Pujulesfan Bearcat Chitowndet Sgt Slaughter jthorpe M-11 Lt Borelli L-1Sgt CHP Nikk Smurf Presence1 IcecoldblueyesKimble LADEP ateamer ChiCity R.A.B. Jenners IrishMetal GoldBadge willowdared Monkeybomb PhilipCal pullicords Chit2001 Garbageman Narco CruiserClass Fuzz 10-42Trooper Tex4720 irishlad2nv bajakirch OnThe gurmpyirishmanNYIlliniSgtScott31 CityCopDCcgh6366 FJDave

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          • #6
            I was blessed with selective memory, and dates don't really stick in my head all that much.

            I think filing my taxes this year as single, instead of married/filing separate may give me a good excuse to crack a bottle of champagne though.
            Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

            sigpic

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
              Sooooooooo, anybody else been freed from pain, guilt, or other bad feelings about a previous relationship? Anyone else feel like celebrating?
              Not to get all emotional but my ex did me dirty after a 4 year relationship by cheating on me with someone I knew and it messed me up in many ways. For some time after that incident I just had trust issues with other women I dated because I didn't want to have a repeat of that relationship.

              Long story short, I realized that her leaving me was the best thing that could have happened to me because she would have taken me to the cleaners if I had married her [which was a high possiblity at that time]. The woman I am with now is 100x the woman my ex will ever be and for all the right reasons.

              I don't "celebrate" per say but I do think about it ever now and then.

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              • #8
                well......
                I knew it was over with my ex far before 9/11. (like say jan or feb.) BUT I just had to try to make it work. I had reasons it should,,, even though it was jsut wrong and I knew it.
                then 9/11.
                10/18/01....I walked and told him it was over. He showed up when I wasnt home (and hadnt gotten my key back) and took back his "gifts"/
                that was enough. I knew then all my friend swould stop giving me the 3rd degree.
                I had crushes and dates since then. BUt single never felt so damn good.
                ‘Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.’
                Oscar Wilde

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                • #9
                  Dont remember the date, but I remember where and what was basically said. Bad relationship, lots of stupid mistakes that made it even more complicated. She was begging, I flat out said no. I finally realized how manipulative she was.

                  Long story short, We dated, broke up but still hung out, redated, end. In that time she cheated on me with 2 guys that I know of, and played us all at the same time, even running us in front of each other for entertainment. I got fed up with it.

                  To this day, its the best decision Ive made. She ran me through a lot, made all sorts of false accusations, and broke me down.

                  But I can look back and laugh AT her, because man is she a wench. (thinking of a different term...) Of course, Ive healed and grown since then, and Im happy with where Im at, where Im going, and where Ill be. Ive never looked back.
                  "...and the taking of a life is murder. And the punishment for murder is.... well it varies from state to state and by race, but...." - Homer J Simpson.

                  Police: "Stop and we'll shoot!"
                  Dilbert: "Stop AND we'll shoot? If you're gonna shoot, why should we stop?"
                  Police: "Well, it would be alot easier for us. The targets at the shooting range don't run."

                  R.I.P. Momma Coleman. You may have left our world, but you have NOT left our hearts.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
                    My wife and I were at lunch, the other day, at McDonalds. The twins were playing in the playland and she brought up my ex-wife in the conversation.

                    I realized that this June, it will be 20 years since my ex- asked me to leave the house.

                    More importantly, it was 20 years ago this January, when the last exchange of bodily fluids took place, in what I thought was the most important lovemaking I believed I would ever attempt...yet turned out to be the most sad, empty, hollow, disillusioning experience I ever went through. I thought I was trying to save my marriage....she was unresponsive.

                    My (new, improved, and final) wife caught me smiling and asked, "Are you remembering sher (my ex-) fondly, right now?"

                    I still smiled and said, "No, (I then explained the '20 years since' deal and then continued with...) I was wondering if there was some kind of anniversary medallion or AA-like chip, or a birthday-style cake, I could get to savor the passage of that amount of time from that disagreeable chore."

                    Sooooooooo, anybody else been freed from pain, guilt, or other bad feelings about a previous relationship? Anyone else feel like celebrating?

                    And please remember, this is a family-friendly website, when you make your reply....if any does!
                    Funny you post this. Had an eerily (sp?) similar experience (not as long though) and a recent anniversary of sorts. Better off now and happy, but the first experiences never leave you. Sometimes you think about it, but that's why Miller makes 20 packs.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      This is why SFG is so anti-marriage, I'm not even into all the mushy lovey dubby stuff...

                      Man, reading these relationship post is like reading real bloody gory war stories...No thank you...Have some woman kick me out b/c she doesn't want to be w/ me anymore?...Eff that I work hard for that roof over my head, I'll be damned if some chick try to do that... I'm nobodies night and shining armor, I'm not w/ that stuff...I get in some heated conversation w/ my folks when this mushy stuff comes up...

                      Keith to celebrate by going out w/ your boys and party...
                      sigpic

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                      • #12
                        It can be a part of life. If you can avoid it and have a fulfilling life, more power to ya. However, some of us have to touch the stove even after we've been told it's hot

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                        • #13
                          Not me...I've said it before, I learn from other peoples mistakes...I'm struggling working hard to get ahead in life...So then what, I meet some chick I say I do at some church ceremony and half my hard work goes to her b/c I said "I do"?..No thanks...My generation is some what anti-love, and more do what feels good, it's not like back in the day when people were really commited to the whole marriage idea...

                          I wish those who dare well...
                          sigpic

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                          • #14
                            SFG, it's not your generation, so much, as it's the age that your generation is at this moment!

                            In other words, we all (the old sentimental fogies) used to see the world as plainly as you do now. Somewhere along the way things get a little fuzzier. Soon enough, you'll start crying at movies where the dog, dad, best friend, or whoever dies. Meanwhile, live life to the fullest and try not to do anything you can't live with! We wish it was still so simple. (Now where are my dang reading glasses?)
                            If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

                            ---Jack Handey

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                            • #15
                              Actually - it'll be 20 years in March that i left my ex-husband. I can always remember how long - only becuz it's the same year that i started work with the postal service, becuz i needed a better job - to make more money to live on my own.

                              Glad you and I both ended up much happier, and healthier!!

                              (I celebrated with a large party for friends, when the divorce was final 18 months later.)

                              As for other relationships... i had a long-term one after that, but didnt want to get married.
                              Last edited by Jellybean400; 02-03-2009, 01:42 AM.

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