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  • My girlfriend is moving into my hometown...couple of questions???

    Ok guys my girlfriend of 8 months is moving into my hometown next week. We have been seeing eachother for the most part every week 2 or 3 days a week. However I am concerned about things and she doesn't seem worried.

    1.) She says she is moving because of a job and then added bonus is me. Which is fine with me. However I am afraid we will see to much for eachother and then start fighting. It's a huge adjustment having someone move into your hometown and possible see them every day. We have never really fault. And I don't want to start fighting. Just because we see eachother.

    2.) We agreed to have supper if possible as I may be out of town for work. We also agreed that we will NOT see eachother every waking moment as it might put a strain on our relationship.

    Do I have a reason to be worried??? What has worked for you???

  • #2
    You are thinking about it too much...so now when you do see her you will be worried that it is too much.

    Just let life happen.....dont sweat the small stuff........listen to your brain and let your heart follow. She will be too busy with her new job and getting adjusted to a new place to be so wrapped up in scheduling alone time.



    Just at like she doesnt live there....
    "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    • #3
      I may be COMPLETELY wrong with my reply, but this is how I feel!

      If you are soo worried a/b NOT wanting to see your girlfriend.. uum maybe she shouldn't be your girlfriend. If seeing each other "too much" will cause a strain on your relationship, I think you shouldn't be in one with that person.
      When I'm in a relationship with someone I actually like, I enjoy spending as much time with them as I can.. granted, that's me.

      But really, you are thinking a/b it too much. It will either work or it won't. You just have to make a point to schedule things with her and without her to keep your distance. I don't see this specific relationship being long term, but good luck!

      Success is getting what you want.... Happiness is wanting what you get

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      • #4
        You are at the point of the relationship now where you should be at 30yrs of marriage, where you live downstairs and she lives upstairs and you take separate vacations.

        This is quite odd.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by BrittBSC View Post
          I may be COMPLETELY wrong with my reply, but this is how I feel!

          If you are soo worried a/b NOT wanting to see your girlfriend.. uum maybe she shouldn't be your girlfriend. If seeing each other "too much" will cause a strain on your relationship, I think you shouldn't be in one with that person.
          When I'm in a relationship with someone I actually like, I enjoy spending as much time with them as I can.. granted, that's me.

          But really, you are thinking a/b it too much. It will either work or it won't. You just have to make a point to schedule things with her and without her to keep your distance. I don't see this specific relationship being long term, but good luck!
          Britt, we love eachother. But we don't want to all of sudden be around eachother every waking moment. I want to be able too still do my own thing however spend time with her too. We just have to find a happy medium in the middle.

          Comment


          • #6


            glad I made you laugh!!
            This profession is not for people looking for positive reinforcement from the public. Very often it can be a thankless job and you can't desire accolades, because those are not usually forthcoming. Just do your job to the best of your ability and live with the decisions you've made.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Mr. CO View Post
              Britt, we love eachother. But we don't want to all of sudden be around eachother every waking moment. I want to be able too still do my own thing however spend time with her too. We just have to find a happy medium in the middle.
              I think the last line of your post just answered your question! I hope you didn't take my post wrong, I respect that you are trying to do what you think is right in your relationship. You will know what is right for you and your relationship. If you ease into everything I think you will be okay. Like i said in my other post, just make plans to do your own things with your own people.... BUT you are going to have to deal with the fact that she is new in your town and may not have friends of her own. That alone will lead to y'all spending more time together until she develops her own friendships and her own things to do.

              As for my previous post, I think you should know/take into consideration that I am a single mother of 2 kids, so my dating "style" is probably quite different than others.. that's why I said I may be completely wrong in my response.

              Good luck, hun!

              Success is getting what you want.... Happiness is wanting what you get

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by David Hineline View Post
                You are at the point of the relationship now where you should be at 30yrs of marriage, where you live downstairs and she lives upstairs and you take separate vacations.

                This is quite odd.
                yes very odd indeed...
                This is my Glock, there are many like it, but this one is mine

                "Anything is possible to he who dares" A.G. Spalding

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mr. CO View Post
                  Britt, we love eachother. But we don't want to all of sudden be around eachother every waking moment. I want to be able too still do my own thing however spend time with her too. We just have to find a happy medium in the middle.

                  As I said before...you are thinking about it too much. Even married couples have to find a happy medium...I have friends whose wives wont do anything without them. ugh
                  I love my husband and he loves me, but we have maintained our individuality and try not to smother each other. I enjoy my space...he enjoys his and I dont have a problem with that. We also love doing things together....he will even tell me when he wants to "hang out" with me if we get too busy. We respect one another and each others differences. Thats key to a relationship...respecting each others personal space and time.

                  Dont have a date schedule or anything because that is highly unromantic....dont even talk about it because then ya'll will be doing the "oh are we going by the agreement." Just enjoy time together and time apart.....it will all fit into place. If its getting to be too much ...then talk about it.

                  In short:

                  STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!
                  "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    depends on what you mean by "do my own thing"

                    Originally posted by Mr. CO View Post
                    Britt, we love eachother. But we don't want to all of sudden be around eachother every waking moment. I want to be able too still do my own thing however spend time with her too. We just have to find a happy medium in the middle.
                    Perhaps I am reading way too much into this situation, but like others have mentioned this fear sounds very odd. You should be just fine so long as the following two things are not in play:

                    1. You already feel she is too needy and/or clingy.

                    2. By "doing my own thing" you mean you have someone on the side (another girl).

                    Even people who live together do not spend every waking/sleeping hour together. You both probably have careers to concentrate on and other friends to hang out with, right?
                    Last edited by Athene8107; 09-13-2008, 04:58 PM. Reason: proofreading error

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      See I'm on the other side of the boat, my SO lives about 6 hours away till she finishes Dental Hygiene School. I cannot wait till she moves back here with me, and you should be happy she's moving in with you if you truly love her.

                      Hate to say it but ALL couples fight, if you don't fight then it will be just like a pressure cooker ready to explode into disaster. I think you're worried that she will wreck you're daily routine, but that's natural since change affects everyone differently. Just let things flow and don't sweat the small **** and always enjoy each others company!

                      Goodluck!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Mr. CO View Post
                        Ok guys my girlfriend of 8 months is moving into my hometown next week. We have been seeing eachother for the most part every week 2 or 3 days a week. However I am concerned about things and she doesn't seem worried.

                        1.) She says she is moving because of a job and then added bonus is me. Which is fine with me. However I am afraid we will see to much for eachother and then start fighting. It's a huge adjustment having someone move into your hometown and possible see them every day. We have never really fault. And I don't want to start fighting. Just because we see eachother.

                        2.) We agreed to have supper if possible as I may be out of town for work. We also agreed that we will NOT see eachother every waking moment as it might put a strain on our relationship.

                        Do I have a reason to be worried??? What has worked for you???
                        Dude you should be ecstatic that she's moving close, my FIANCE lives 2,000 miles away from me, and I miss her every day, and want to be with her. I can't wait until the day when we move closer to each other. If you truly love her you will want to be with her more often. And don't worry about fights, her and I haven't really fought yet either, but i know it's coming, it's a very natural aspect of relationships.

                        What are you gonna do when you guys get married?????

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          1. Hide your Porn.

                          2. Go buy a big screen TV Now. and get all the cable you can. It's easier to keep if it was "Always There".

                          3. Fill your bathroom with stuff. I don't care if you just buy 200 bars of soap, just do not leave enough room for her to start leaving her stuff in there.

                          You will come home one day soon and have new curtians, Potholders, and a small basket of soap shaped like seashells on the back of your toilet.

                          Resistance is Futile...

                          M-11
                          “All men dream...... But not equally..
                          Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it is vanity;
                          but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men,
                          for they act their dreams with open eyes to make it possible.....”

                          TE Lawrence

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by beachcop05 View Post
                            Dude you should be ecstatic that she's moving close, my FIANCE lives 2,000 miles away from me, and I miss her every day, and want to be with her. I can't wait until the day when we move closer to each other. If you truly love her you will want to be with her more often. And don't worry about fights, her and I haven't really fought yet either, but i know it's coming, it's a very natural aspect of relationships.

                            What are you gonna do when you guys get married?????
                            Did he say they were engaged? Or that he was thinking of marrying her?

                            I understand where he's coming from. People dont need to be stuck up each others ***'s constantly, it's not healthy. They need their own interests and activities. Believe me, after 15 years in a relationship, you will wish your partner had some hobbies of their own!

                            Just keep your own friends and activities, and also do some more things together. Like you said - the happy medium. Then you'll enjoy the times with her even more.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hmmm....

                              Sounds like to me that if you feel this way, that she is not the lady you will be marrying.... If you can't see each other nearly every day without fighting, is this relationship really for you?
                              So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. (Hebrews 13:6)

                              I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

                              Comment

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