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Finally figured the real lure of X-rated movies

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Southflaguy View Post
    Adult movies are boring...I'm not going to lie the first 2 minutes you're like DAAAAME!!!...After that it's just boring...I like watching interviews of the actress(es), very intresting, to say the least...
    OK, first off - are you SERIOUS?? You're not watching the movie for the story, i dont think. And i dont think most people get thru more than 2 minutes at a sitting anyway!!


    Not true, I've seen some of the actress(es) w/o make up, or looking all "glamed" up like in the video's and they're UGLY...
    I'm not talking about what they look like off-camera. I'm not seeing them off-camera. I know about stars without makeup, and models without airbrushing. Usually on camera all their hair and makeup and bodies are perfect... unless its some other kind of video lol.

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    • #17
      13.) Nobody ever gets a leg cramp or a toe cramp

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      • #18
        14.) You never see them go flying off the bed (resulting in any injury). How awesome is that?
        1*

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Chit2001 View Post
          14.) You never see them go flying off the bed (resulting in any injury). How awesome is that?
          ^^Satin sheets are so over rated!^^

          (15) The beds are never those old ones with springs that make lots of noise.

          (16) No one gets really bad rug burn either.
          Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

          sigpic

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          • #20
            Originally posted by JMTX View Post
            9) all male "equipment" is appropriately sized for maximum enjoyment You never have to ask, "Is it in yet?"
            Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
            One would think so, based upon what you see. What one fails to realize is that more often than not, these are skinny, tiny people, all sporting usually the "regulation government-issued equipment." Yes, there are some standouts, but when they are matched with teeny, tiny women, their packages appear oversized.
            And here, I thought it was just that the camera added 5 lbs.

            (18) Apparently the "stars" never eat Taco Bell.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by hxd View Post
              And here, I thought it was just that the camera added 5 lbs.

              (18) Apparently the "stars" never eat Taco Bell.
              I think you haven't watched a lot of Ron Jeremy. He believes that he became more popluar when he walked out of the gym and made bee line to the buffett table!
              "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

              Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

              Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

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              • #22
                Actually he was in the first movie I saw without the funny squiggly lines. He was opposite Jeanna Fine and Tyffany Million. *sigh* the memories.

                My Taco Bell reference was more about having to "run for the border" at the worst possible time.

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                • #23
                  19) The guy never stops half way through to ask, "Hey you wanna go get some ice cream when we're done?" (LOL...yep, it's happened to me!)

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                  • #24
                    (20) No unexpected farts....or expected ones either, for that matter.
                    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

                    sigpic

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by willowdared View Post
                      (20) No unexpected farts....or expected ones either, for that matter.
                      That's kinda where I was going. I was trying to be more delicate with it, however.

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                      • #26
                        (21) No one shows that occassional bad episode when rhythm's not right, it's painful, she runs out of sound effects to use...and at the end, they laugh it off and say, "well, that was a trip." then go to sleep immediately.
                        Last edited by JBean; 08-17-2008, 12:45 AM.

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                        • #27
                          (22) Another adult movie line we've never heard, "Oh, my back, my back, ouch, ouch, ouch....stop!"
                          "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                          Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                          Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

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                          • #28
                            Kieth, do you remember back when TV actor turned LAPD motor Ken Osmond (Eddy Haskell on Leave It To Beaver) was rumored to be John Holmes? A friend was working I/A at the time and he and his partner were assigned to the matter. They sat down with Osmond, apologized and said no one had mad an actual allegation, but that public rumors had gotten so out of hand that they had to be put to rest once and for all. Without skipping a beat Osmond grinned, said he understood completely, stood up, dropped his pants and asked if that resolved things. (It did.)
                            Going too far is half the pleasure of not getting anywhere

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                            • #29
                              (23) Zero telephonic interruptions from either party's mother.
                              "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                              Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                              Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

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                              • #30
                                (24) everywhere you do the deed is comfortable, including sharp (and sandy)beach rocks, cramp rickety park benches, the ever popular and fresh smelling stable in the horse barn, and ofcourse your best friends mom's own bedroom complete with pictures of the kids and grandkids while you seal the deal.....

                                (25) magic ensues when you put two girls together in a room and give them a cup...
                                Last edited by PlainSilverTin; 08-17-2008, 08:15 AM.
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                                "From now on, all your opinions will be ignored!"

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