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Finally figured the real lure of X-rated movies

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  • Finally figured the real lure of X-rated movies

    Okay, I know the rules say to "keep it clean" and I will do my very best.

    I have finally figured out some reasons why adult video action is often very enjoyabe to watch, what makes it true fantasy entertainment...I've never see these things in a XXX movie:

    (1) No one ever coughs up/chokes on a loose hair.

    (2) No man ever suddenly finds out that his mouth now tastes like his own underarm deoderant, due to a transfer from his armpit, to the woman's ___, then he places his own mouth where his armpit was previously. There is, after all, nothing like the taste of aluminum chlorhydrate!

    (3) It's pretty exciting, for a male, thinking that merely knocking on a random door, or arriving to do some mundane repair of an appliance will result in a zesty session with an absolute stunner (or two, or more).

    (4) No woman ever says, "Hey, did you brush your teeth?"

    Most importantly...

    (5) No actress, in an adult movie, has ever uttered the scripted line: "Quiet, I think the kids hear us!"

    Of course, you guys may have other input....
    Last edited by Kieth M.; 08-16-2008, 11:08 PM.
    "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

    Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

  • #2
    (6) In the movies, there's never the "someone is watching us" feeling, only to look down and see the dog at the end of the bed with his head cocked to one side.

    (7) In the movies, you never see the cat jump up on the bed and start the "happy claws" kneading on the first soft place she can find.

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    • #3
      (8) - for guys - Most of the guys are nasty in them (IMO) and the women are usually gorgeous, so it gives ALL guys hope that they'll really get laid by someone like that, and the sex will really be that good

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      • #4
        9) all male "equipment" is appropriately sized for maximum enjoyment You never have to ask, "Is it in yet?"

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        • #5
          (10) The guys last for what seems like a 'lifetime' - so i guess it kinda feels like watching a DREAM

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Jellybean400 View Post
            (10) The guys last for what seems like a 'lifetime' - so i guess it kinda feels like watching a DREAM
            Two reason...make that three reasons....for that:

            (1) Slo-mo photography

            (2) Editing in footage from different angles makes it seem like it lasted longer. Lazy filmmakers will just edit in the same loop, over and over.

            (3) They're not me!
            "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

            Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

            Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

            Comment


            • #7
              Adult movies are boring...I'm not going to lie the first 2 minutes you're like DAAAAME!!!...After that it's just boring...I like watching interviews of the actress(es), very intresting, to say the least...


              (8) - for guys - Most of the guys are nasty in them (IMO) and the women are usually gorgeous, so it gives ALL guys hope that they'll really get laid by someone like that, and the sex will really be that good
              Not true, I've seen some of the actress(es) w/o make up, or looking all "glamed" up like in the video's and they're UGLY...
              sigpic

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              • #8
                Originally posted by JMTX View Post
                9) all male "equipment" is appropriately sized for maximum enjoyment You never have to ask, "Is it in yet?"
                One would think so, based upon what you see. What one fails to realize is that more often than not, these are skinny, tiny people, all sporting usually the "regulation government-issued equipment." Yes, there are some standouts, but when they are matched with teeny, tiny women, their packages appear oversized.
                Last edited by Kieth M.; 08-15-2008, 11:54 PM.
                "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I actually got to meet my first porn crush....I didn't recognize her and actually thought if I had not figured out who she was, I would not have thought about her twice.

                  Originally posted by Southflaguy View Post
                  Not true, I've seen some of the actress(es) w/o make up, or looking all "glamed" up like in the video's and they're UGLY...
                  I listened to a segment on the desire of adult video makers to get out of the HD business. The heightened clarity of the HD format reveals all the flaws....scars, shaving bumps, acne, etc.

                  In regards to actresses w/o makeup, this is quite true of many regular female TV and movie personalities. Once exiting a door, I literally ran into "glamorous" actress Joan Collins, during her Dynasty days. She was without hair and makeup. I almost wanted to start canvassing the nearby assisted living homes to see if they were missing a resident.
                  Last edited by Kieth M.; 08-15-2008, 11:54 PM.
                  "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                  Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                  Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    For those of us who enjoy visual stimulation, it's a plus that you can see everything. When you're doing it yourself, you miss a lot. Unless you have a mirrors. Which I don't.
                    ..................................................

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Jellybean400 View Post
                      (8) - for guys - Most of the guys are nasty in them (IMO)
                      I had an ex-partner who once arrested John Holmes on a felony charge, which required a strip search. He said that live and in person, Holmes was hideous...little better than a skid row dweller. This may have been during Holmes' coked-out days, however.
                      "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                      Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                      Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Porn stars, er I mean Adult Film Actresses never seem to get the monthly visit from Aunt Flow or her even more frustrating twin HEAVY FLOW
                        I got nothing for now

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
                          I actually got to meet my first porn crush....I didn't recognize her and actually thought if I had not figured out who she was, I would not have thought about her twice.



                          I listened to a segment on the desire of adult video makers to get out of the HD business. The heightened clarity of the HD format reveals all the flaws....scars, shaving bumps, acne, etc.

                          In regards to actresses w/o makeup, this is quite true of many regular female TV and movie personalities. Once exiting a door, I literally ran into "glamorous" actress Joan Collins, during her Dynasty days. She was without hair and makeup. I almost wanted to start canvassing the nearby assisted living homes to see if they were missing a resident
                          .

                          I saw a documentry on HBO about pornstars and some of those women have serious issues...Some were sexually abuse at a young age, others have a drug problem, a few have been abused almost all their lives, and have been through some stuff...Then you have those that get off knowing people are watching them do the "deed"...Can't forget the money, some make six figures doing a couple videos, and a few photo shoot(s)...I know Terra Patrick is bringing in big money...She's ok looking...It looks like she has fake teeth, I don't know...LOL...
                          sigpic

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by e-man View Post
                            Porn stars, er I mean Adult Film Actresses never seem to get the monthly visit from Aunt Flow or her even more frustrating twin HEAVY FLOW
                            I'll bet that in some genres they do.
                            ..................................................

                            The Donut Shop : A Cop-Friendly Forum

                            (Please PM me for faster admittance.)

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                            • #15
                              There was nothing better then the classic 70's soundtrack....

                              bow chicka wow wow
                              Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

                              sigpic

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