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  • I Need Advice!!!!!!!

    My roommate is 6 months pregnant. Well at least once a week she is at the club drinking and comes home drunk. She lost her job a couple of months ago so I have been paying everything. I feel as if I kick her out she has no where to go. This morning she came home at 5 am drunk with some strange guy that I didn't know. I have a four year old so of course this really ****ed me off. I was already running late and she tells me to leave my daughter with her. She started a new job at a doctors office this week but is only working part time if she even went today. I just don't know what to do. I am a single mom raising a roommate and a four year old. I know what I need to do but I don't know how to go about it. I feel like I am stuck in an endless hole.
    Don't expect other people to make you happy, Happiness is your responsibility.

  • #2
    Kick her out. Tough love, but right now you are enabling her and supporting her habit. Reality needs to hit her hard right now, b/c she's endangering that baby inside her.

    Tell her you are concerned for her health and her baby's and that you care about her a lot, but that you cannot condone what she is doing. Her actions are a danger to you and your daughter. Give her 3 weeks to either settle down to a real job (babies are expensive.. who's gonna pay for hers?) or find someplace else to stay.

    Comment


    • #3
      You're kidding, right?

      How could you possibly NOT kick her butt to the curb when you have your OWN DAUGHTER to look after? You do not need this sorry, selfish woman around your 4 year old.
      .
      .
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      Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

      Comment


      • #4
        No, by all means, keep quiet and let her do her thing.

        Then, in three more months, you get to take care of your daughter, this spread open-legged loser and her new baby. Then, when she's all rested after having the baby, she can go out, bring home other strange men, have sex with them and if all goes well, get pregnant and have another baby. Of course, all the drinking she's doing won't result in anything like fetal alcohol syndrome...and if it does, she gets to tell everyone she has a special needs child and get more sympathy.

        Yeah, don't do anything, and you'll be very happy with the outcome.

        PS: Have you read your own signature line, lately?
        "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

        Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

        Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

        Comment


        • #5
          Keith hit the nail on the head
          I got nothing for now

          Comment


          • #6
            If her name is not on the lease, then the locks are changed and her stuff is in the parking lot later today, how can you invite evil to live in your child's house?

            Comment


            • #7
              give her an ultimatum. get her crap together or get out. i understand wanting to help a friend but you also have the responsibility to protect your child, and yourself!
              This is my Glock, there are many like it, but this one is mine

              "Anything is possible to he who dares" A.G. Spalding

              Comment


              • #8
                Keith pretty much summed it up......when it comes to your child or someone else the decision is not hard and requires no thinking.

                CrossFit

                RossTraining

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                • #9
                  So you know what you have to do. You say that you don't know "how" to do it. What do you need to figure out?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
                    No, by all means, keep quiet and let her do her thing.

                    Then, in three more months, you get to take care of your daughter, this spread open-legged loser and her new baby. Then, when she's all rested after having the baby, she can go out, bring home other strange men, have sex with them and if all goes well, get pregnant and have another baby. Of course, all the drinking she's doing won't result in anything like fetal alcohol syndrome...and if it does, she gets to tell everyone she has a special needs child and get more sympathy.

                    Yeah, don't do anything, and you'll be very happy with the outcome.

                    PS: Have you read your own signature line, lately?
                    First off all my friend is not a spread open-legged loser. Not that you probably care but I don't appreciate the name calling. Just because she is pregnant doesn't mean she spreads her legs all the time. And this was the first time she brought a guy home like that. This is her first baby and shes almost 30. She made a bad mistake and doesn't now how to deal with it. She has a problem and knows she has a problem and her faimly sucks and isn't there for her. As her closest thing to faimly I am tring to help her. Second of all i have read my own signiture and thats something I am working on. I am a caring person and see the good in most people. Her and I had a sit down last night and I did give her ultimatiums. And if she doesn't then she is goign to be out.
                    Don't expect other people to make you happy, Happiness is your responsibility.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Okay, those are some details you left of your o/p, and I am sorry I sounded so crude.

                      Best of luck to her and you both. Luck is what occurs when preparation meets opportunity.

                      Doing the right thing, for all involved, is never easy. If it were easy, we'd all be doing it 24/7/365.

                      Again, warmest personal regards and best wishes for your coninued success.
                      "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

                      Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

                      Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
                        Okay, those are some details you left of your o/p, and I am sorry I sounded so crude.

                        Best of luck to her and you both. Luck is what occurs when preparation meets opportunity.

                        Doing the right thing, for all involved, is never easy. If it were easy, we'd all be doing it 24/7/365.

                        Again, warmest personal regards and best wishes for your coninued success.
                        You didn't sound to crude I work in the jail so I don't get offended easily. I appreciate the advice.
                        Don't expect other people to make you happy, Happiness is your responsibility.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Can anyone say fetal alcohol syndrome?

                          Not only are you looking forward to taking care of HER BABY, you could possibly end up with a baby suffering severe birth defects.

                          When I had housemates I had a rule: nobody brings home anyone who hasn't already been formally introduced to the other household members, with veto power given to any one of us. It was a safety measure, pure and simple. You live in this house, you abide by these rules. Can't abide by them? Live somewhere else.

                          Your roommate has numerous social service options available to her, depending on your state and county. She needs to be hooked up with those immediately.

                          She also needs to stop drinking. Immediately. No ifs, ands or buts. If she has one more drink she is out of your house. Period.

                          To borrow a line from Dr. Phil: we teach others how they are to treat us. You have taught this woman that she can walk all over you and you will just sit there and take it.

                          Try:

                          Alanon

                          for more expert assistance.

                          Originally posted by landrierose View Post
                          My roommate is 6 months pregnant. Well at least once a week she is at the club drinking and comes home drunk. She lost her job a couple of months ago so I have been paying everything. I feel as if I kick her out she has no where to go. This morning she came home at 5 am drunk with some strange guy that I didn't know. I have a four year old so of course this really ****ed me off. I was already running late and she tells me to leave my daughter with her. She started a new job at a doctors office this week but is only working part time if she even went today. I just don't know what to do. I am a single mom raising a roommate and a four year old. I know what I need to do but I don't know how to go about it. I feel like I am stuck in an endless hole.
                          Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed.
                          Happiness never decreases by being shared. -- Buddhist quotation
                          A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -- Proverbs 15:1

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Ever seen a FAS kid? I can't suggest what would be truly appropriate for her, after she has the baby, of course. You need to do something, NOW. She's ruining a life that isn't hers to ruin.
                            Throw her out, turn her in, call Child Protective Services, SOMETHING! You have a duty as a human being to protect that child. If you can't do it, then you are as responsible for any damage to that child as the carrier (and NO, she isn't that child's mother, she doesn't deserve that title). Find someone who has the moral strength to do something about it. I can't believe this is even a dilemma for you!!! What the hell is wrong with you???
                            Her life sucks, WAH!!!!!

                            You don't like this answer?? Look me up, we'll talk about it.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
                              No, by all means, keep quiet and let her do her thing.

                              Then, in three more months, you get to take care of your daughter, this spread open-legged loser and her new baby. Then, when she's all rested after having the baby, she can go out, bring home other strange men, have sex with them and if all goes well, get pregnant and have another baby. Of course, all the drinking she's doing won't result in anything like fetal alcohol syndrome...and if it does, she gets to tell everyone she has a special needs child and get more sympathy.

                              Yeah, don't do anything, and you'll be very happy with the outcome.

                              PS: Have you read your own signature line, lately?
                              Kieth, you're my hero!

                              landirierose, I hope you are not setting yourself up for a huge letdown. If she can straighten her act up now, there is a chance for a healthy life for the baby. I just hope you know where to draw the line between "assisting" and "enabling."
                              .
                              .
                              .
                              Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

                              Comment

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