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  • Crying When Stopped

    Just for fun, I thought I'd get your take on this:

    Does it really make some officers mad when a female cries during a traffic stop?

    I was stopped a couple of weeks ago and had had such a long week that I ended up crying even though I really did not mean to. I was not trying to get out of anything; I was just emotionally and physically drained.

    If you care to read the account that I posted on my Facebook, I've copied it below, but even if you don't you can still weigh in on my question. Thanks!

    __________________________________________________ ________________

    8/23/08

    This past week was challenging. My husband was away all week at state basic law enforcement training. I was struggling to get to know my students as they were constantly being transferred in and out of my five freshmen literature and composition classes. We had "Curriculum Night" on Thursday Night, which was from 6:30pm to 8:30 pm, so I didn't get home until 9pm. Also, I have been feeling slightly ill ever since I returned to work; I always have issues with my sinuses. And, finally, I had an evening masters class on Friday.

    All of these circumstances came together to form a perfect storm last night. It was a little after 8pm, and I was driving home from North Forsyth High School where my Lesley Cohort meets. I had been there since 4:50pm, and hadn't been home at all since I left that morning at 6:05am. About a mile after I turned left off Brown's Bridge and onto Keith Bridge, I saw blue lights in my rear-view mirror. I wasn't really sure why I was being pulled over. I wondered if there was something wrong with one of my lights or something like that.

    After what seemed like a long while, but was probably only a few minutes, the officer walked up to my window and explained that he had seen me cross the line on the right twice. I didn't argue with him. I was exhausted. I simply flashed the school ID badge I was still wearing, and explained that was "just really tired. I'm a teacher, and I'm working on my master's degree at night." At that point my exhaustion and weakened immune system gave way, and my voice began to crack as tears silently dribbled down my face. I hadn't meant to cry. I wanted to explain that I just desperately wanted to get home to my husband who had been at the academy all week, but I couldn't say another word. I just responded to his few questions with half-sobbed Yes and No Sirs.

    He said he just wanted to make sure that I hadn't been drinking and that I could make it home safely. He then asked for my driver's license, and briefly went back to his car. I'm assuming he was doing an obligatory insurance check. When he came back he asked me if I was taking anything to stay awake; to which I responded, "No, Sir." Finally, he gave me my license back and reminded me to "take care of yourself."

    Although I was a little shaken up by this experience, I was impressed by the officer. He was polite and seemed genuinely concerned about me. I wish I could remember his name, but I was so upset that I can only recall that it began with a "C". I feel a bit bad for crying in front of the deputy, but I honestly couldn't help it. I'm so glad that my husband will be working with wonderful, professional deputies like the one I had this odd chance meeting with last night.
    Last edited by Athene8107; 09-09-2008, 10:00 PM. Reason: proofreading error

  • #2
    Have hubby put all the cars on dmv's confidential list.

    Here's a link for your question.

    http://forums.officer.com/forums/sho...crying+stopped
    This profession is not for people looking for positive reinforcement from the public. Very often it can be a thankless job and you can't desire accolades, because those are not usually forthcoming. Just do your job to the best of your ability and live with the decisions you've made.

    Comment


    • #3
      If you are crying so hysterically that you cannot talk or answer any questions then yes it is annoying.....it is an infraction and not the end of the world. If its just tears or you can still control yourself then no problem.....doesnt affect my job one way or another.

      Comment


      • #4
        Ooops.

        Sorry for starting a thread on a topic that has already been covered. I did search the forum, but I guess I didn't do it properly. I should have known this topic would have already been covered. Just thought I would confirm what my husband told me.

        Thanks.

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        • #5
          ..............................

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          • #6
            .....DO NOT...I repeat DO NOT provide his coworkers with "ammo" to tease him with!

            He'll never live it down.
            This profession is not for people looking for positive reinforcement from the public. Very often it can be a thankless job and you can't desire accolades, because those are not usually forthcoming. Just do your job to the best of your ability and live with the decisions you've made.

            Comment


            • #7
              Just for fun, I thought I get your take on this:

              Does it really make some officers mad when a female cries during a traffic stop?
              Mad? Not me. Maybe some, but no .... not me.


              Last edited by t150vsuptpr; 09-09-2008, 09:59 PM.
              "That's right man, we've got mills here that'll blow that heap of your's right off the road."

              "Beautiful Daughter of the Stars."(it's my home now)

              >>>>> A Time for Choosing <<<<<

              Retired @ 31yr 2mo as of 0000 hrs. 01-01-10. Yeah, all in all, it was good.

              Comment


              • #8
                No I don't get mad, annoyed maybe. I don't think a ticket is cry-worthy... but i'm not a big cryer I suppose.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I usually tell them that if they don't stop crying, I'm going to give them something to really cry about.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by WKT View Post
                    I usually tell them that if they don't stop crying, I'm going to give them something to really cry about.
                    That might have gotten me to laugh and snap out of it.

                    I don't normally cry in situations like this, but I was just so worn out and stressed out. Also, this was the first and only time I've ever been stopped.

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                    • #11
                      I always laugh inside.
                      Airborne Cops are closer to God.
                      Arms and legs are just extensions of flight controls.

                      THESE BIG RED LETTERS HELP ME FIND MY POST.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I once had a man cry. It was a bus operator in the 1200 block of E Street NW. He was Unattended and Engine Running, in a Special Zone and Excessive Idling. When I handed him the $500 NOI for the Excessive Idling, he started crying and got on his knees begging me to not issue the ticket.

                        I won't lie, I found an error on the Excessive Idling NOI and had to void it. He quit crying and begging, so I left him with the two other NOI's.

                        There was just something about a foreign born man on his knees crying and begging that didn't mesh well with me ... all I could think about was his 17 kids starving to death because I was being an ***.
                        Last edited by DCPSDcop; 09-13-2008, 11:17 PM.
                        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distric...ice_Department

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Yesterday I had 3 people cry at a traffic stop. 2 were women. The man cried when I impounded his car. Does not affect my decision one way or the other, and I don't take it personal. People react differently under stress, and a traffic stop is certainly stressful. I have a job to do. I am not cruel, mean spirited or without a heart. Cry if you must, no harm done either way.
                          LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO DRINK CHEAP BEER!

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                          • #14
                            Personally, it makes me feel that women are playing to my emotions as a man when they cry. I always give them a chance to dry the tears up for a couple minutes but if not....she gets a pink copy!!....lol. But seriously....I'll ask if she is crying just b/c I pulled her over and if she says yes....she needs to dry it up...or she wil hold something.

                            Might be mean....but I do have a heart..if she's having a bad day and a genuine reason...I'll cut her a break.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              If you cry or I feel try to play on my soft side- You will get a ticket.

                              If you pull up your skirt/unbutton your shirt- You will get a ticket.

                              If you suggest that I find something better to do- You will get a ticket.

                              Since I rarely issue tickets, dont do those 3 things and yield the row to emergency vehicles and you will be fine (with me.)

                              Comment

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