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  • Help! What to do from here...

    This is my dilemma... the two minute or less version (which provides context) for my question to anyone who has had similar experience(s) or who could provide any advice for what to do next... I spent the last year applying to a state police agency, made it all the way to the background (after passing the first polygraph), during the initial interview with the BI the first question he asked me was "tell me the names of all your ex-girlfriends". I've only had one during high school, we dated a year max on and off... anyways... so he ends up contacting her cause she didn't move far and has a unique last name... and she falsely alleges that I 1)sexually assaulted her (I won't go into detail but its pretty bad), 2)hacked her email and sent emails to all her friends and family telling them she's a lesbian and 3)called her and told her to commit suicide. anyways, long story short and 2 polygraphs later (I won't go into that because it's longer than the two minute version I promised you)... I probably won't be getting into that agency (I feel I have a 1% chance as of this writing), and I'm doing my homework and researching other potential agencies to apply for. My question is... do I have any legal recourse against my ex girlfriend. She wrote out a voluntary statement (3 pages) and it's going to stick with me for the rest of my career search if not for the rest of my life. Any advice would be appreciated... thanks.
    pain and suffering are inevitable; misery is optional.


  • #2
    The only thing I can think of is a civil suit for slander/libel. Dont know anything about it except that it exists. All in all it's your word against hers.

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    • #3
      Try and take the high road. Contact her and ask if you can discuss the situation. Don't get ****ed, and don't start a fight. Try and find out why she said what she said and if you can maybe get her to retract her statement. I would do that before taking the lawsuit route.
      “Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them.”
      ― Henry Ford

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      • #4
        Is your state a "2-party" or a "1-party" state in regards to tape recording conversations? In Texas, I would advise you to tape that call so that if she laughed at you and said, "Yeah, I lied, so what?" then you would have proof. But CHECK THE LAW before doing this; it's illegal in some states to record someone without their knowledge.
        If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

        ---Jack Handey

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        • #5
          Speak with an attorney if you want to know what you can legally do.


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          • #6
            Originally posted by EagleScout2002 View Post
            This is my dilemma... the two minute or less version (which provides context) for my question to anyone who has had similar experience(s) or who could provide any advice for what to do next... I spent the last year applying to a state police agency, made it all the way to the background (after passing the first polygraph), during the initial interview with the BI the first question he asked me was "tell me the names of all your ex-girlfriends". I've only had one during high school, we dated a year max on and off... anyways... so he ends up contacting her cause she didn't move far and has a unique last name... and she falsely alleges that I 1)sexually assaulted her (I won't go into detail but its pretty bad), 2)hacked her email and sent emails to all her friends and family telling them she's a lesbian and 3)called her and told her to commit suicide. anyways, long story short and 2 polygraphs later (I won't go into that because it's longer than the two minute version I promised you)... I probably won't be getting into that agency (I feel I have a 1% chance as of this writing), and I'm doing my homework and researching other potential agencies to apply for. My question is... do I have any legal recourse against my ex girlfriend. She wrote out a voluntary statement (3 pages) and it's going to stick with me for the rest of my career search if not for the rest of my life. Any advice would be appreciated... thanks.
            I'm really a little mystified concerning your post. BI's typically speak to ex'es. Both ex-spouses, significant others etc. They have pretty well tuned B.S. detectors, and can usually tell when an ex is giving an applicant an unjustified "bad rap". Please understand I'm not passing judgement on you, merely saying your situation is a little unusual, at least on the surface. In the past, I've suggested to applicants that in these situations, they do a "pre-emptive strike" which consists of giving the BI a "head's up" concerning any negatives he might hear. Often times, these situations are covered in a Polygraph Exam, and I'm curious as whether this situation came up in yours. The Polygraph is not an "oracle' or all knowing device, however, properly framed questions can often shed considerable light on these accusations. For your legal recourse, I can only suggest you consult with an Attorney. I hope things work out for you.

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            • #7
              Thanks for all the advice guys, I really appreciate it. In my state you can't tape a conversation without consent. I can't contact her directly because both the BI and polygraph examiner said not to... besides, I don't want her having an excuse to say I called and harassed her (which I'm sure would happen). I adamantly denied any part of the accusation(s) when they first came out, and still completely deny them once I heard all of them in detail. When I was first confronted by the BI, he grilled me for 30 minutes about them and kept asking me why I seemed upset and was getting defensive. At the end of the interrogation he made it sound like it was all a joke to see how I would react under pressure. Then a month later I get a call saying to take the second polygraph. You would think that someone along the food chain would consider the her mental health (depression and medication) or the fact that she accused her ex before me of the SAME sexual violence crime or maybe that she's a bitter ex girlfriend. Or maybe that 6 years after the alleged events she asked me to be her friend on myspace (which I denied). I don't mean to sound angry or anything, but it's just a little frustrating when your passion and hopeful career not only get sidetracked unnecessarily but get put in jeopardy altogether. I haven't talked to a lawyer yet, but after reading about defamation lawsuits it seems pretty slim that I'd win (It's her word against mine after all)... remember I'm guilty until proven innocent. Anyways, I thought about mediation because I'm not after monetary compensation; I want her to recant her statement so I can move on with my life.

              Oh, and I had no reason to think she'd say anything negative about me. We were together on and off for less than a year, she wanted to be in an open relationship for the most part (no, I didn't date anyone else), and our "relationship" fizzled when we graduated and she said she found a new boyfriend. The last time I saw her was two weeks after graduation when she attended my Eagle Scout ceremony, and the last time we talked was online when she told me she found a new bf.
              Last edited by EagleScout2002; 07-22-2008, 03:31 PM. Reason: forgot to mention...
              pain and suffering are inevitable; misery is optional.

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              • #8
                Okay, from your post, it seems you're still in the running. You should consider a second Polygraph as simply an effort to verify information you've already provided. Your replies should reflect the answers you provided the first time around. While I can understand your anger at your ex's statements, I suggest you not become fixated on addressing them at present. As I noted to you in my original reply, Background Investigators routinely encounter claims of the type made against you. Bottom line: Your application was slowed down a little, but it sounds like you're still in the running.

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