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Bad relation with parents who are trying to ruin my background check. Am I doomed?

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  • Doctorhoot
    commented on 's reply
    Are you seriously calling me a liar because you just don’t believe me when I tell you that I am not that other poster? I read that story someone linked here and that is so far the other direction that I can’t even fathom how someone like that would be allowed to work in any LE capacity.

  • westside popo
    replied
    If the background doesn't DQ you then the psych or polygraph will that is if you even applied anywhere.

    You're a terrible lier or have mental health issues. Maybe both?

    Leave a comment:


  • Doctorhoot
    commented on 's reply
    Yeah… they had me later on in life. They were busy city people. Not to uncommon to start a family in the later years. Two careers… busy lives… high cost of living… you get the idea.

  • Doctorhoot
    replied
    I really do not know who you are talking about. If my situation sounds unique to someone else then ok. But this is my 2nd time posting here.

    Leave a comment:


  • CCCSD
    replied
    It’s gotta be the same guy.

    Leave a comment:


  • Aidokea
    replied
    You're 29 years old and your parents are in their 70s? WTF- did your mom have you when she was 50?

    Leave a comment:


  • Aidokea
    replied
    Originally posted by Doctorhoot View Post
    Hello all,

    I have entered the background portion for an agency. They are planning on doing the normal background investigation which means talking to my friends and family.

    A little bit about me is that I am 29, college degree and I have nothing in my background check that should be alarming ( no arrests, surprisingly no tickets and a good, solid work history. )

    Since I live out of state, I had to travel to my home state and stay at home to do some stuff for my process like meet with my B.I. and take a polygraph.

    My folks haven't been the easiest people to deal with my whole life and have often tried to sabotage things that I have going on. Anything ranging from employment to my own personal relationships and friendships. Lately, their new thing has been getting my riled up and then dropping the " oh we are so going to tell your B.I about all of this when he come to meet us! Just watch! You do not deserve to be a cop! " So they are now holding my future career over my head as some kind of means to control me. Anything I do wrong like literally walking in late the other night when I was catching up with a buddy of mine is just met with the fact that they will tell him.

    My background guy has told me he will be dropping in sometime in the next month or so to meet them which really worries me. They have also told me they do not want him here bothering them and do not want to participate in any of this because it is too much of a hassle. They never really play ball and they try to make life pretty hard on me, even as an adult.

    I ended up reaching out to my B.I. and explained to him to just be aware that they are doing this. He told me that he understands and he may or may not at this point go and meet them but he will still have to send them a questionnaire about me. He also says that because I haven't lived at home in so long, he probably won't take what they say seriously. My girlfriend and I both do not want this to impact my chances of being hired and are hoping for the best but my own father has seriously told me that I threatened to kill him? He wants to let him know this. ( I absolutely did not do any of that whatsoever, my girlfriend and I think he has early onset dementia ) My agency also wants to talk to my ex girlfriend from 5 years ago. That isn't a problem with me. We ended like adults with no drama but my mom seems to think otherwise and is pretty much hell bent on bringing up to the investigator that I am a terrible person and I used to abuse her emotionally ( again, none of that is true the slightest bit ) I have even recently spoken to her and she doesn't recall any of that happening when we dated and said she is proud that I am pursuing a career in Law Enforcement since her Dad was a retired Deputy.

    My folks are older in their 70s and do have some... mental health issues I should say. I haven't lived at home in years but I wanted to drop in and see them and knock this out for the department all at the same time which I am realizing was probably a mistake to begin with.

    My question is - will this look poorly on me when compared to other candidates? I'd hate to have them ruin this for me all for the sake of just being a jerk and not really realizing that this could potentially cost me a future job.
    Saved. Just because...

    Leave a comment:


  • BrianT
    replied
    Your BI will probably talk to a lot of people about you.

    If he talks to 6 people who say X about you and 2 people who give off the nutcase vibe and say Y about you, his report will reflect X with a mention of Y with an explanation.

    Don't sweat it.

    Leave a comment:


  • westside popo
    replied
    You do know we believe everything people tell us?
    Sorry but....You're ****ed!

    Leave a comment:


  • Doctorhoot
    commented on 's reply
    No, this is my 2nd time posting here. I left a comment on another thread over the summer time.

  • NolaT
    replied
    Originally posted by Doctorhoot View Post
    Hello all,

    I have entered the background portion for an agency. They are planning on doing the normal background investigation which means talking to my friends and family.

    A little bit about me is that I am 29, college degree and I have nothing in my background check that should be alarming ( no arrests, surprisingly no tickets and a good, solid work history. )

    Since I live out of state, I had to travel to my home state and stay at home to do some stuff for my process like meet with my B.I. and take a polygraph.

    My folks haven't been the easiest people to deal with my whole life and have often tried to sabotage things that I have going on. Anything ranging from employment to my own personal relationships and friendships. Lately, their new thing has been getting my riled up and then dropping the " oh we are so going to tell your B.I about all of this when he come to meet us! Just watch! You do not deserve to be a cop! " So they are now holding my future career over my head as some kind of means to control me. Anything I do wrong like literally walking in late the other night when I was catching up with a buddy of mine is just met with the fact that they will tell him.

    My background guy has told me he will be dropping in sometime in the next month or so to meet them which really worries me. They have also told me they do not want him here bothering them and do not want to participate in any of this because it is too much of a hassle. They never really play ball and they try to make life pretty hard on me, even as an adult.

    I ended up reaching out to my B.I. and explained to him to just be aware that they are doing this. He told me that he understands and he may or may not at this point go and meet them but he will still have to send them a questionnaire about me. He also says that because I haven't lived at home in so long, he probably won't take what they say seriously. My girlfriend and I both do not want this to impact my chances of being hired and are hoping for the best but my own father has seriously told me that I threatened to kill him? He wants to let him know this. ( I absolutely did not do any of that whatsoever, my girlfriend and I think he has early onset dementia ) My agency also wants to talk to my ex girlfriend from 5 years ago. That isn't a problem with me. We ended like adults with no drama but my mom seems to think otherwise and is pretty much hell bent on bringing up to the investigator that I am a terrible person and I used to abuse her emotionally ( again, none of that is true the slightest bit ) I have even recently spoken to her and she doesn't recall any of that happening when we dated and said she is proud that I am pursuing a career in Law Enforcement since her Dad was a retired Deputy.

    My folks are older in their 70s and do have some... mental health issues I should say. I haven't lived at home in years but I wanted to drop in and see them and knock this out for the department all at the same time which I am realizing was probably a mistake to begin with.

    My question is - will this look poorly on me when compared to other candidates? I'd hate to have them ruin this for me all for the sake of just being a jerk and not really realizing that this could potentially cost me a future job.
    Are you the same guy who stated that his parents are trying to ruin his life with false psych issues?

    https://forum.officer.com/forum/publ...to-threaten-me
    Last edited by NolaT; 01-07-2022, 11:08 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bad relation with parents who are trying to ruin my background check. Am I doomed?

    Hello all,

    I have entered the background portion for an agency. They are planning on doing the normal background investigation which means talking to my friends and family.

    A little bit about me is that I am 29, college degree and I have nothing in my background check that should be alarming ( no arrests, surprisingly no tickets and a good, solid work history. )

    Since I live out of state, I had to travel to my home state and stay at home to do some stuff for my process like meet with my B.I. and take a polygraph.

    My folks haven't been the easiest people to deal with my whole life and have often tried to sabotage things that I have going on. Anything ranging from employment to my own personal relationships and friendships. Lately, their new thing has been getting my riled up and then dropping the " oh we are so going to tell your B.I about all of this when he come to meet us! Just watch! You do not deserve to be a cop! " So they are now holding my future career over my head as some kind of means to control me. Anything I do wrong like literally walking in late the other night when I was catching up with a buddy of mine is just met with the fact that they will tell him.

    My background guy has told me he will be dropping in sometime in the next month or so to meet them which really worries me. They have also told me they do not want him here bothering them and do not want to participate in any of this because it is too much of a hassle. They never really play ball and they try to make life pretty hard on me, even as an adult.

    I ended up reaching out to my B.I. and explained to him to just be aware that they are doing this. He told me that he understands and he may or may not at this point go and meet them but he will still have to send them a questionnaire about me. He also says that because I haven't lived at home in so long, he probably won't take what they say seriously. My girlfriend and I both do not want this to impact my chances of being hired and are hoping for the best but my own father has seriously told me that I threatened to kill him? He wants to let him know this. ( I absolutely did not do any of that whatsoever, my girlfriend and I think he has early onset dementia ) My agency also wants to talk to my ex girlfriend from 5 years ago. That isn't a problem with me. We ended like adults with no drama but my mom seems to think otherwise and is pretty much hell bent on bringing up to the investigator that I am a terrible person and I used to abuse her emotionally ( again, none of that is true the slightest bit ) I have even recently spoken to her and she doesn't recall any of that happening when we dated and said she is proud that I am pursuing a career in Law Enforcement since her Dad was a retired Deputy.

    My folks are older in their 70s and do have some... mental health issues I should say. I haven't lived at home in years but I wanted to drop in and see them and knock this out for the department all at the same time which I am realizing was probably a mistake to begin with.

    My question is - will this look poorly on me when compared to other candidates? I'd hate to have them ruin this for me all for the sake of just being a jerk and not really realizing that this could potentially cost me a future job.

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