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Bad relation with parents who are trying to ruin my background check. Am I doomed?

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  • Doctorhoot
    replied
    Originally posted by NolaT View Post
    Not much of what you're giving us seems to make sense:

    My folks haven't been the easiest people to deal with my whole life and have often tried to sabotage things that I have going on.

    If getting on as an LEO is the end goal, why take Any chances with them?
    Dept made me list them in my background check and my BI told me he wanted to do a home visit with them. If I could of kept them in the shadows, I for sure would of

    Leave a comment:


  • NolaT
    replied
    Not much of what you're giving us seems to make sense:

    My folks haven't been the easiest people to deal with my whole life and have often tried to sabotage things that I have going on.

    If getting on as an LEO is the end goal, why take Any chances with them?

    Leave a comment:


  • Doctorhoot
    commented on 's reply
    Tank… not everyone is as smart as you are and can predict the future. You want a story? Here

    I haven’t seen them in about two years since I bought my first home. We live states apart and will do an occasional phone call or email. They are like what you said, but they haven’t really given me any problems in a long time. This is mostly stuff growing up and in my early 20s. I would of thought by NOW in life things would of changed but the gf and I are not the least bit surprised. At this point I’m just hoping for the best and that what they say gets over shadowed by the positive quotes from my other friends, family, coaches and employers.

  • Doctorhoot
    commented on 's reply
    I easily could of. I just didn’t think they would stoop this low. Things were fine when I first got there. And I hadn’t seen them in about two years so I did want to visit my folks.

  • Doctorhoot
    commented on 's reply
    Lmao. What are you even talking about?

    You think I have a persecution complex because I corrected you when I was accused of lying about my situation. That is not the same thing. It sounds like you are just making up your own conclusions of what happened.

    Just face it. We’re all liars to you. That is how you view me and that is probably how you view the next man in life. Perhaps law enforcement conditions you to just immediately call bull**** on everything.

    Maybe learn some social skills and try not to treat us visitors to the website like that…

  • tanksoldier
    commented on 's reply
    So you didn’t realize your antagonistic and sabotage-prone parents would be antagonistic and attempt sabotage. OK.

    The parents who were antagonistic and interfered with your employment and personal relationships your whole life were nice…. until they learned they could “gain power over you”.

    I’m seriously wondering about persecution complexes and paranoia now.

  • tanksoldier
    commented on 's reply
    …and there is the moral superiority thing again, and you lied to attempt it. I mean, what I wrote is right there. Now we have your falsehoods increasing in size as you attempt to salvage your story.

    Further, whether I believe all civilians are liars is irrelevant to the issue at hand: whether or not you specifically are a liar. This is know in formal logic as a “tu quoque fallacy” or “appeal to hypocrisy” and is an attempt to distract from the actual matter in question. We aren’t discussing me, we are discussing you.

    That said, Inever called all “civilians” liars…. I never referred to civilians at all. I said that some PEOPLE tell the truth, and some lie, and you can get a good idea of which is which based on how they tell their story.

    If all people lied, there wouldn’t be any need to distinguish between truthful and untruthful people.

    You’re reading what you want to read to make yourself feel better about whatever it is you’re hiding. Has anyone ever mentioned you might have a persecution complex?
    Last edited by tanksoldier; 01-08-2022, 08:08 PM.

  • NolaT
    replied
    Good points, I'd have preferred to stay at a Motel 6, and totally kept my parents out of the loop as much as possible, and as long as possible.

    Why couldn't you stay at a cheap motel or friend?

    Leave a comment:


  • Doctorhoot
    commented on 's reply
    I actually find that fascinating considering I studied psychology in college for a bit. I’m obviously not a law enforcement officer so I don’t know how you guys truly view us civilians but damn…To hear someone who is a cop tell me that we are all pretty much liars is saddening. You’re almost cresting yourself a little outcome already going into a situation like that. I can read between the lines of what you’re saying to me.

    As for CCCSD, I give up. If he wants to think i am that guy then so be it. There is absolutely nothing I can do to change his mind and I’m over it.

  • CCCSD
    commented on 's reply
    Circling, circling…

  • Doctorhoot
    commented on 's reply
    So I did not know they were going to do this. I SHOULD have known but I didn’t. They seemed happy at first to know I am pursuing a career in Law enforcement but as soon as they found out they had a chance to gain power over me, they took it.

    So no. Booking a hotel room was not even in my head. They were nice up until that part. As soon as I saw they were doing that, I made a call explaining it to my BI. Then got the heck out of there. And either way, there is no way I could hide something like this from them. Even if I did slip in and out. They would still find some way to try to wreck this for me.

  • L-1
    replied
    I'm not going to get into what the others have discussed, but here's what stands out for me -

    Originally posted by Doctorhoot View Post

    My folks haven't been the easiest people to deal with my whole life and have often tried to sabotage things that I have going on. Anything ranging from employment to my own personal relationships and friendships. Lately, their new thing has been getting my riled up and then dropping the " oh we are so going to tell your B.I about all of this when he come to meet us! Just watch! You do not deserve to be a cop! " So they are now holding my future career over my head as some kind of means to control me. Anything I do wrong like literally walking in late the other night when I was catching up with a buddy of mine is just met with the fact that they will tell him.
    OK. Crap like this happens from time to time and if it's BS, the BI will attempt to verify their claims and see right through any falsehoods.


    Originally posted by Doctorhoot View Post
    Since I live out of state, I had to travel to my home state and stay at home to do some stuff for my process like meet with my B.I. and take a polygraph.
    Now wait a minute. Why do you have to stay at home with your parents who are openly antagonistic about you? In doing so you will alert them to your career intentions, deliberately risk stirring them up. In turn, this will give them more time to make up crap about you, potentially threatening your goals.

    Don't try and tell me it's a financial issue. Consider which is the better fiscal choice - staying with your parents and creating a greater threat to securing a career that may pay you over $3 million in salary and benefits over the next 30 years, or scrounging up enough cash for a motel, quietly slipping into and out of town and having a better chance at that same $3 million dollar career?

    Right now your choices suggest you lack the basic trait of common sense, which is one of the minimum requirements for a position in law enforcement.

    I'm with the others. You're on thin ice.

    Leave a comment:


  • tanksoldier
    commented on 's reply
    Like I said: generations of kids were lied to…. still are lied to…. some believe it into adulthood, probably because it gives them a feeling of self worth they haven’t otherwise earned. Differences like favorite breakfast cereal or color exist but are irrelevant. In every way that matters to law enforcement, people tend to fall into about eight broad groups. That’s why personality tests like Briggs-Meyers can exist. It’s why psychology and psychiatry can exist as sciences. Humans are far more similar than different.

    A truthful person usually doesn’t even consider that they might not be believed. When I’m investigating a traffic accident a witness might walk up and tell me they saw the white car run the red light snd hit the blue car. Usually they wouldn’t add that their friend Joe can vouch for the fact they saw the accident so I can believe them. Your very first post was full of details and history that are intended to sway opinion rather than report facts, even before anybody asked any questions.

    CCCSD believes you’re still the mental health patient living with his parents. Not sure he’s right, but your tone and desperate need to be vindicated and believed sound similar.

  • Doctorhoot
    commented on 's reply
    Thanks for your reply, but I gotta disagree with you.

    The first thing is how you think we are all the same. Sure, we might all be the same when it comes to basic human needs but we actually are unique in our own little ways. To say that I could be lying because I gave context to my situation is actually what does not make sense. I think I’m allowed to elaborate on stuff and not be accused of lying. If not, then maybe it is you who is trying to seek moral superiority over me.

    And then you tell me that a truthful person isn’t so concerned with being believed. Ok? When you’re literally being called a liar for telling your own story, you’re probably going to stick up for yourself. I was also accused of being some other guy who posts here, so…

    I also replied back to CCCSD because he told me I was trying to feed off my parents. Why would someone even make a statement like that given the facts that I have listed? How could you come up with THAT out of everything I have said. So yeah, I had to reply back to that too and give some context.

  • CCCSD
    replied
    NEVER try to BS The Badge.

    Leave a comment:

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