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  • Psyc Eval Tomorrow

    got my psyc eval tomorrow, the last step before meet/greet with the chief, any tips or just try to relax and chat with the guy?

  • #2
    Your thread makes me want to revisit some advice I gave to another applicant who was worried about his psych eval. Here's what I said then:

    Relax, if no decaying bodies of homeless drifters are stacked, one-upon-another, in the crawlspace under every home you've ever lived in...

    If, as a child, you didn't light fires for fun, kill small animals and play with their remains...

    If you answer the pshrink's questions, and not the voices of the little people who live inside your head...

    If you don't wet the bed at night, then smoke crack, eat leaded paint chips, and drink whiskey every waking moment of the day...

    If you've never done things, sexually, that the mere mention of would make Ron Jeremy blush...

    Especially, if you've never done things, sexually, that would embarrass a German...

    If you realize there's no grand conspiracy regarding the Apollo moon landing, the CIA dealing drugs in South Central L.A., AIDS/HIV, Area 51, 9/11, or the deaths of JFK & RFK...

    Or you do believe in one, or all, of the grand conspiracies mentioned above, but you have come to accept the fact that you were not placed on this earth, by God Almighty Himself, specifically to uncover the truth, expose the lies, arrest and imprison the guilty, and then hand out the bloody punishment for all these crimes against humanity...

    If you don't think Elvis is still alive, and if you sent him a letter at Graceland, he would eventually read it...

    If you're secure in your beliefs that Al Gore and his friends would NOT have done a better job in the aftermath of 9/11...

    If you do not carry a list of people who wronged you in high school, whom you're going to get even with after graduating from the police academy...

    If the thought of holding a loaded semi-auto pistol in your hand doesn't cause any physical reaction to any portion of your anatomy, specifically, under your beltline...

    If you realize that Jessica Simpson DID NOT divorce Nick Lachay so that you could more easily waltz your way into her life once she saw you in uniform...

    If you realize that writing a check or paying with a credit card means that you should have the actual financial ability to cover the check, or make the monthly payments on the interest, plus a little extra to cover the principal...

    If your daddy didn't marry his sister and you grew up playing the banjo really, really, well...

    If you realize that Ponch & John, T.J. Hooker, Hondo & Deac', Reed & Malloy, Sgt. Joe Friday & Officer Bill Gannon are FICTIONAL characters whose exploits have no basis in the real life of a law enforcement professional...you will be fine!
    "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

    Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

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    • #3
      haha thanks a lot man, I liked the crack about deliverance and the kid with the banjo

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      • #4
        you'll do fine, good luck!!!

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        • #5
          thanks for the wishes!

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