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How to get reference with bad blood?

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  • How to get reference with bad blood?

    So im trying to apply as a Law enforcement officer and need recent employers as contacts. The problem is, my roommate dated my boss years ago and had it end very badly. I was prompted to chose sides and chose my roommates because of more factual information that I knew.

    My boss whom I knew longer than my roommate and whom was a former neighbor/classmate got angry at the personal level and did not want anything to do to me. I tried to keep it professional at work, which didn't last long due to the awkwardness and soon put my 2 weeks in after (I was working PT in retail for a few months while in college).

    Fast forward 3 years later and Ive been trying to ask her in a professional manner to be contacted as job supervisor but she has been ignoring me through all mediums (phone, text, facebook and yes we are still FB friends). When asking I dont use the word "reference" but to be merely used a confirmation of my job duties as a supervisor. Im scared that If she does say yes, she will completely fib to the recruiting officer during my background investigation and completely ruin my career before it even started.

    She was the only direct manager that I had, and so i cant use any other supervisor that can attest to my duties.

    Any suggestions.

  • #2
    A good background investigator will hear your side, hear their side, and IF required, talk to others in the circle (peers, past employees) to determine if what is being said here is pertinent to the candidate's history.

    Remember that the BI isn't a popularity contest. It is to determine if the prospective employee is honest, ethical, thinks on his/her feet, and reliable. Even former employers/supervisors can often separate their personal feelings to describe a former employee's ethical status.

    Bottom line is you list her as a past supervisor and leave it at that. You list your references, elsewhere. Merely tell her, I may be going through a police background investigation, soon, you may be contacted. End of story.
    Last edited by Kieth M.; 07-28-2014, 03:39 PM.
    "You're never fully dressed without a smile."

    Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

    Three things I know for sure: (1) No bad deed goes unrewarded, (2) No good deed goes unpunished, and (3) It is entirely possible to push the most devoted, loyal and caring person beyond the point where they no longer give a 5h!t.

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    • #3
      Most Investigators are---------------investigators. That is what they do for a living. MOST are pretty good at their jobs


      Do you think that criminals tell an investigator the truth all the time (or any of the time for that matter)? The Background Investigator often hears things from your past that either doesn't add up with what they have found elsewhere or matches what they have heard elsewhere . Or falls somewhere in between. Part of their job is to sort it out
      Since some people need to be told by notes in crayon .......Don't PM me with without prior permission. If you can't discuss the situation in the open forum ----it must not be that important

      My new word for the day is FOCUS, when someone irritates you tell them to FOCUS

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      • #4
        Okay thanks.

        Referring to references, are college professors ideally good candidates to use? Or a college coaches?

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Kieth M. View Post
          A good background investigator will hear your side, hear their side, and IF required, talk to others in the circle (peers, past employees) to determine if what is being said here is pertinent to the candidate's history.

          Remember that the BI isn't a popularity contest. It is to determine if the prospective employee is honest, ethical, thinks on his/her feet, and reliable. Even former employers/supervisors can often separate their personal feelings to describe a former employee's ethical status.

          Bottom line is you list her as a past supervisor and leave it at that. You list your references, elsewhere. Merely tell her, I may be going through a police background investigation, soon, you may be contacted. End of story.






          I've quoted my colleague's reply to you in the hope that you'll read it at least one more time. As he usually does, my colleague said precisely what I wanted to say to you, only he did it far more effectively. Once you're finished reading Keith's thoughts, read those of the rest of my colleagues, and govern yourself accordingly. Best of luck in your process.

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          • #6
            Also quit trying to get in touch with her. I would recommend that you don't send her anything else. If she's this butt hurt still after three years she might just slap you with a restraining order and then you can pretty much kiss your chances goodbye

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            • #7
              Originally posted by T-TON View Post
              Okay thanks.

              Referring to references, are college professors ideally good candidates to use? Or a college coaches?
              Probably won't do much for you in terms of credibility. Your transcripts and diploma are all you should need from school. I think in the private sector LOR's mean something, but in this profession its about integrity (clean background and honesty).

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              • #8
                Your BI is going to be an experienced investigator who can tell difference between horse**** and applebutter based on the smell.
                In God We Trust
                Everyone else we run local and NCIC

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                • #9
                  Referring to references, are college professors ideally good candidates to use? Or a college coaches?
                  Former teachers and coaches are generally both good references, especially for a younger person without much work history.
                  "I am a Soldier. I fight where I'm told and I win where I fight." -- GEN George S. Patton, Jr.

                  "With a brother on my left and a sister on my right, we face…. We face what no one should face. We face, so no one else would face. We are in the face of Death." -- Holli Peet

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